Hey Fellow SS

All of us watch movies, TV shows, read and write.  We have seen  A LOT of stuff.  Everyone always asks us about our favorites.  

What about the stuff we hated?  Is there a movie or TV episode that you hated so much that you wanted to kill yourself for wasting the hour or 2 hrs to watch it?

Lets have some fun here.  Lets post the thing we have watched, read, whatever that you felt was the pits of the pits, the slime under the slime.  We aren't talking about the creme under the creme, we're talking about the spoiled parts under the spoiled parts of the creme.  The absolute worst.

And why.  You have to tell us why in case most of us have not seen or read it.

I'll go first.

My absolute worse movie that I have ever seen is Zombie Lake.  We have all seen some bad slashers and zombie movies, or stuff like the August series.  But, man, this takes the cake.  And unlike Troll 2 that was so bad it's funny, this was just bad.

The set up is pretty standard.  A bunch of Nazis were treating the people of this small community like slaves.  So, the townspeople rose up and dragged them all and tossed them in a lake where they sank to the bottom and became zombies.  Eh, I can buy that.

So, they stay underwater for 20 odd years.  And today, today, they want vengeance.  

You ever see the film that was so low budget that they show the same scene over and over and hope you don't notice?  We get that here.  A naked woman swims in the lake.  They rise up, grab her and kill her.

Then they walk into town and start killing everyone.  The only reason I knew they were zombies was due to the title.  In actuality, they look very green, like kelp had mated with their faces.  

One of the zombies isn't bad.  He doesn't want to kill anyone.  But, he's forced to kill by the leader of them.

The good zombie happens upon his daughter.  She's wearing a pendent that he gave to her mom, so, he knows that must be his daughter.  And he doesn't want to kill her.  But, the lead zombie does.

So, what do 2 zombies do when they have a conflict with each other?  THEY FIGHT, TO THE DEATH, WITH KNIVES.  Yes, you read that right, they decide to fight to the death with knives.  2 undead zombies stabbing each other and punching each other all in the hopes of leading the rest of the zombies.

Anyone guess the result of this all so NOT thrilling section?  If you guess it's a draw, you are correct.  THEY GET TIRED OF FIGHTING.  Yes, zombies apparently can get fatigued.  Who knew.  

So, they all walk back in the lake and decide to wait until later.  Without ever speaking a word.  The leader just turns around and walks back to the lake.  The others follow like sheep following a dog.  

THE END.

Wait, what?  The zombies are still at the bottom.  The resolution was awful.  And that's it.  OH, and the same naked girl that was killed earlier is  back alive and swimming at the end, but, she has a wig on now to show that's not really her.  Yes sir this was awful.

So, what was yours?  I look forward to reading and shuddering at the same time.

Dan

Birdemic is the absolute worst!

There's no way there's a movie out there worse than that. And I watched the whole thing! Awful stuff.

Check it out if you haven't already.

Quoted from IamGlenn Birdemic is the absolute worst! There's no way there's a movie out there worse than that. And I watched the whole thing! Awful stuff. Check it out if you haven't already.

Looks terrible and quite frightening considering I've written my own bird attack horror film. Try watching Full English Breakfast or Triads, Yardies and Onion Bhajees, so bad they're funny.

Ah Zombie Lake, 'classic' Euro horror from the early 80s, you're right about the green tinge Dan but I have a soft spot for this sort of rubbish... reminds me of the early days of Video in the UK, VHS vs Beta, banned films, dodgy bootlegs, govt censorship... heady days

My worst move - Pretty Woman, a film that positions prostitution as an acceptable and glamorous career choice... awful...

And in the real dross stakes of recent times, Famine, stalk n slash set in a high school, think it's meant to be funny but it isn't... it's sub Troma and that's quite difficult!  

Hey guys,
Anthony is the only one who explained why.  We need to know why.  Anthony had some valid points.

Anthony, have you ever seen it?  And there are bootlegs today.  Hell, the  guinea pig   series, especially Flower of flesh and blood was initially thought to be a real snuff film.  Bootleg was the only way to watch it.  Psycho dude Charlie Sheen reported it as a snuff film.  At the time, it was pseudo realistic.  

Have you seen Zombie Lake?  I guess I knew it was British, but, didn't make the connection with many on here.

Hey Dan

Sure Zombie Lake is French, at least the Director is... Jean Rollin, he's made lots of similar Euro sleace in the 70s and 80s... definitely an interesting Director

And I used to write a Horror film fanzine, so seen the Guinea Pig series, Nekromantik (1&2), Murder Set Pieces etc etc. Sheen just demonstrated he was a bit of a dick... there was a 'Making of' that went along with that particular episode... just very convincing special effects... though nothing else was very convincing!

Anthony

FREDDY GOT FINGERED

DADDY WOULD YOU LIKE SOME SAUSAGE???


CNN critic Paul Clinton declaring it "quite simply the worst movie ever released by a major studio in Hollywood history."

Warren Epstein of The Gazette described Freddy Got Fingered as "the worst movie ever made.

A review in The Washington Post said: "If ever a movie testified to the utter creative bankruptcy of the Hollywood film industry, it is the abomination known as Freddy Got Fingered.

Robert Koehler of Variety called it, "One of the most brutally awful comedies ever to emerge from a major studio."

Film reviewer Roger Ebert included the film on his "most hated" list, He gave it zero out of four stars, and wrote: "This movie doesn't scrape the bottom of the barrel. This movie isn't the bottom of the barrel. This movie isn't below the bottom of the barrel. This movie doesn't deserve to be mentioned in the same sentence with barrels

Freddy Got Fingered was nominated for eight awards at the 2001 Razzies, and won for Worst Picture, Worst Actor, Worst Director, Worst Screenplay, and Worst On-Screen Couple.

Razzies founder John J. B. Wilson called it "offensive, stupid and obnoxious" and said it had "no redeeming value."

Green accepted his awards in person, traveling to the ceremony in a white Cadillac, wearing a tuxedo and rolling out his own red carpet to the presentation.

The movie has an 11% positive rating on Rotten Tomatoes.

In 2010, the film was nominated at the 30th Golden Raspberry Awards for Worst Picture of the Decade, though it lost to Battlefield Earth.

Freddy Got Fingered also appeared on Metacritic's list of the all-time lowest-scoring films, was featured in Empire's list of the "50 Worst Movies Ever" poll,[180] and is on the MRQE's 50 Worst Movies list.

PUT THAT ON YOUR WRITING RESUME!!!

Shawn.....><

Hope floats

thought it was a stinker

Quoted from DustinBowcot Looks terrible and quite frightening considering I've written my own bird attack horror film. Try watching Full English Breakfast or Triads, Yardies and Onion Bhajees, so bad they're funny.

Funnily enough, I think there's a gap in the market for a good bird attack film, if done right. This just wasn't. The acting is horrendous and the whole thing is awfully edited. The effects they use for the birds are the worst I've ever seen in a film. Also, there are so many pointless scenes of the protagonist driving his car. They go on for ages and serve no point. It's as if they are there just to make up the time.

And there is a Birdemic 2 out there for anyone that's interested. Haven't brought myself to watch it yet though.

Or just watch The Birds

'88 Minutes' with Al Pacino...

It's Al Pacino, so you'd think it'd be good right?

Instead he just stumbled around looking genuinely confused for the 108 minute runtime -- no doubt wondering if the paycheck was worth it...    

Quoted from stevemiles '88 Minutes' with Al Pacino... It's Al Pacino, so you'd think it'd be good right? Instead he just stumbled around looking genuinely confused for the 108 minute runtime -- no doubt wondering if the paycheck was worth it...

Yes, definitely.  One of the very worst theatrical releases I can recall.  His toup was redonkulous, and the fact that it changed from scene to scene, made it that more hilarious.

The plot itself was inane, at best, and the "88 minutes" that it covered, was just downright silly to think he could get around from place to place in anywhere near that amount of time.

I saw it at the theater, and was honestly howling out loud many, many times.

Truly, an epic miss from all involved, and to think anyone would even consider such a ludicrous script, is sad.

Kuff's with Christian Slater. Unwatchable. From what I remember he kept trying to break the fourth wall with disastrous results. It's been too long and I've forgotten a lot thankfully. But as I recall, this movie was awful. And I like Christian Slater, too.

I was persuaded to go to the pictures to see The Lady In The Water.

I wondered how bad it could be. The answer was very. Very very. Oooh it was awful. I stayed until the end, thinking it might get better. It didn't, it got worse.

Before that I went to The Avengers. No, not that one. The one with Uma Thurman and Ralphy Fiennes in it. That was very bad too. Even Sean Connery was fecking awful. But it wasn't as bad as The Lady In The Water.

Mind you, this is like deciding whether toothache is worse than a burn. I'm off now to watch the last ten minutes of The Long Good Friday, to purge myself of these memories. I might have a biscuit too. Oooh.

R

Quoted from rendevous I was persuaded to go to the pictures to see The Lady In The Water. I wondered how bad it could be. The answer was very. Very very. Oooh it was awful. I stayed until the end, thinking it might get better. It didn't, it got worse. Before that I went to The Avengers. No, not that one. The one with Uma Thurman and Ralphy Fiennes in it. That was very bad too. Even Sean Connery was fecking awful. But it wasn't as bad as The Lady In The Water. Mind you, this is like deciding whether toothache is worse than a burn. I'm off now to watch the last ten minutes of The Long Good Friday, to purge myself of these memories. I might have a biscuit too. Oooh. R

No NO NO NO NONONONONONONO

I actually liked Lady in the Water.  Not that it was a good movie, it wasn't.

Okay, I have  a confession, I'm M Night,
oh, not that one.

I am a gamer.  I have played D&D for over 25 years.  The reason that I liked the movie was b/c it played out like a D&D adventure, like the character did this, and this was the result.  So, I kinda viewed it like I was living there.  Yes, it was campy, very bizarre, but, no more so then that awful movie about the people living in cabins to find out they aren't in the old times at all, they are just hidden away from the rest of the world.

And the other dumb one about the nature killing everyone.

But, watch it like a gamer and the movie is watchable.

Dan

Okay... I'll throw in the Ninth Gate.  Just so ammmmazzzingly slow and dreadfully dull.  Is it the absolute worst?  No.  But it's a horrible cinematic experience that quickly pops to mind....

There there's Cabin Fever.  That kept trying to be meta.  And failed horribly....