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SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board    Discussion of...     General Chat  ›  Willowick Trailer Moderators: bert
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  Author    Willowick Trailer  (currently 1888 views)
jwent6688
Posted: October 9th, 2015, 8:43am Report to Moderator
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I said I was going to shoot this... Three years ago. That's about the pace I work at. Quite proud how this came out. I learned a great deal. I made it a point to do everything myself, just to get a taste of it all. Filmed it, edited it, cleaned up the audio. Even had to film the house by myself at the end and my lights kept blowing over in the wind because my buddy didn't show to help out. (yes, I do have one friend).

Anyway, general consensus is that it drags a bit, but finishes strong. I'm happy with that being a no-budget production. This is the script I sent into the Scriptshadow 250. It's a heavy rewrite from the one that I posted on the boards here in 2012. Rewritten with all the great notes I received here. Thanks again to those who read it.

Anyway, let me know your thoughts if you have time.

James



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Scar Tissue Films
Posted: October 9th, 2015, 9:16am Report to Moderator
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Nice work, James. Proud of you for doing it all.Best way to learn, and it's the most fun you can have, if it's your bag.


As an actual trailer I felt it was a little long winded: The core point is that small towns, behind the facade have their secrets and this town has the house.

You could get there a hell of a lot faster if you're actually trying to sell to an audience.

Seems like you're cutting the trailer to her speech, rather than cutting the speech to the trailer.


Still, overall I'm impressed and it looks like you've done a great job.

Rick
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LC
Posted: October 9th, 2015, 9:31am Report to Moderator
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James, I'll be honest - beginning is too slow and disconnected compared with the end,. But you sure  made up for it when it scared the crap out of me from about 1:45 onward.  That latter stuff feels and looks very pro.


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Scar Tissue Films
Posted: October 9th, 2015, 9:32am Report to Moderator
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What's the deal, anyway?

Have you made the whole film? Or did you just want the trailer to sell the script?
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Grandma Bear
Posted: October 9th, 2015, 10:31am Report to Moderator
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Hey James,

I remember seeing this one awhile back. Don't know what you've done differently to it, but this one is better. The V.O. is much better too. I have a different computer now, maybe that makes a difference! Lol!

Anyway, I think this has a King type vibe to it with the small town stuff and something being "let out".

Great work! I'm impressed you did that all by yourself! Makes me feel I should get off my flat butt and film something myself too.

Hope we get to see the feature some day.  


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jwent6688
Posted: October 9th, 2015, 10:44am Report to Moderator
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Rick,

Precisely. I filmed this just to get the feature some attention, hopefully. Was more fun than sending out query letters to potential agents. And yes, this was filmed around the VO. There really isn't a whole lot of great scenery here to shoot except sunsets over the lake. I can only do that a couple of times. And I thought Eva's VO was really the star here. It will bore the shit out of most, but my kind of horror always had a slow build.

Libby, thanks for checking it out. Glad I scared ya! The witch is just made out of PVC pipe and cheap Halloween costumes. She's got plastic Freddy Krueger claws on. Basically she has two right hands, but nobody will notice. Lol. She's up in my upstairs bedroom window this month creeping out anyone who walks by.

Thanks for checking it out again, Pia. And yes, get off your fine arse and go film something. If nothing else, it sure is fun.

James.


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ghost and_ghostie gal
Posted: October 9th, 2015, 3:20pm Report to Moderator
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It definitely has a slow burn feel to it for sure.  I'm no film director, but I thought you did a very good job with this.  So congrats.  Hopefully the script will garnish more interest.

Ghost


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kingcooky555
Posted: October 9th, 2015, 3:46pm Report to Moderator
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It's rather slow in the beginning, and even more so because you stack wide shots with more wide shots. I think if you mix up wide shots with close ups or interesting ECUs -- it could mix things up a bit.

@1:22 the narrator says at "night" and we see a wide shot of a train during sunset hours. But then you cut to another wide shot which looks like the middle of the day. It didn't seem to flow well visually. I think here it would have been nice to go into darkness perhaps go from sunset to dusk and then the nice ending.

I'm an amateur filmmaker so take my comments with a grain of salt. Still, I love your initiative. I personally believe filming your own stuff will make you a better screenwriter.
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stevie
Posted: October 10th, 2015, 9:10pm Report to Moderator
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I remember reading this bro. And while it wasn't my cup of tea, I do recall liking a fair bit of it, especially the old legends stuff.

The trailer is nicely filmed though a little long as the other dudes have said. But, man, you are out there doin it so good stuff mate!



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dead by dawn
Posted: October 11th, 2015, 7:24am Report to Moderator
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I remember reading an older draft on here years ago, I think... would like to check out the new version.
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jwent6688
Posted: October 11th, 2015, 12:14pm Report to Moderator
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Ghost, thanks for checking it out. Glad you liked it.

Kinky, Yeah, a more accomplished filmaker would've done some things differently. I pretty much shot everything with a 28mm lens so it's all kind of medium wide.

Stevie, I tried man, to find someone in town sporting some cut-off jean shorts that were cut way too high, but that fad just isn't "in" here in the states anymore.

Dead, if you want to read the new draft it's on the site at willowickmovie.com. I plan to re-submit and have Don update the old draft here.

Thanks for checking it out everyone. Almost 6K views in about 48hrs. I'm pretty happy with that.

James


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alffy
Posted: October 11th, 2015, 2:47pm Report to Moderator
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I remember reading this a long time back too.  The trailer is pretty cool and looks great, James.  You did a good job.


Check out my scripts...if you want to, no pressure.

You can find my scripts here
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dead by dawn
Posted: October 11th, 2015, 6:05pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from jwent6688


Dead, if you want to read the new draft it's on the site at willowickmovie.com. I plan to re-submit and have Don update the old draft here.



Can't wait to read it.  I'll get back to you probably toward the end of October, early November.
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eldave1
Posted: October 11th, 2015, 8:19pm Report to Moderator
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I thought the last 30 seconds were great.

The first minute and a half dragged a bit, IMO.

All the best with this.


My Scripts can all be seen here:

http://dlambertson.wix.com/scripts
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jwent6688
Posted: October 12th, 2015, 4:40pm Report to Moderator
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Alffy,

Thanks for taking a look. You did read the original draft and I incorporated some of your suggestions. You brought up some good points. Glad you liked my first film.

Eldave, I hear ya. It's boring, but since I never actually shot the feature, I never had any actors. There's nothing to propel my story except the voice over. The people in town think it's fantastic, but that's because they live here and recognize it all.

James.


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