SimplyScripts Discussion Board
Blog Home - Produced Movie Script Library - TV Scripts - Unproduced Scripts - Contact - Site Map
ScriptSearch
Welcome, Guest.
It is March 28th, 2024, 2:52pm
Please login or register.
Was Portal Recent Posts Home Help Calendar Search Register Login
Please do read the guidelines that govern behavior on the discussion board. It will make for a much more pleasant experience for everyone. A word about SimplyScripts and Censorship


Produced Script Database (Updated!)
One Week Challenge - Who Wrote What and Writers' Choice.


Scripts studios are posting for award consideration

Short Script of the Day | Featured Script of the Month | Featured Short Scripts Available for Production
Submit Your Script

How do I get my film's link and banner here?
All screenplays on the simplyscripts.com and simplyscripts.net domain are copyrighted to their respective authors. All rights reserved. This screenplaymay not be used or reproduced for any purpose including educational purposes without the expressed written permission of the author.
Forum Login
Username: Create a new Account
Password:     Forgot Password

SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board    One Week Challenge    January 2019 -  One Week Challenge  ›  Worshiping Sophia - OWC
Users Browsing Forum
No Members and 2 Guests

 Pages: 1, 2, 3 : All
Recommend Print
  Author    Worshiping Sophia - OWC  (currently 2127 views)
Don
Posted: February 1st, 2019, 10:53pm Report to Moderator
Administrator
Administrator


So, what are you writing?

Location
Virginia
Posts
16381
Posts Per Day
1.94
Worshiping Sophia by Lilly Pond - Short, RomCom - When a hopeless dullard gets a tattoo in memory of his ex-girlfriend he finds a wacky way he just might win her back again. - pdf format

Writer interested in feedback on this work



Visit SimplyScripts.com for what is new on the site.

-------------
You will miss 100% of the shots you don't take.
- Wayne Gretzky
Logged Offline
Site Private Message
CameronD
Posted: February 2nd, 2019, 11:21am Report to Moderator
Been Around



Posts
542
Posts Per Day
0.14
Is CU for close up how its supposed to be written? Why is the flashback formatted as "Edward remembers"? Not a good start.

At first, they are oblivious to each other. Both reading.
He, Shelley. She, “Change Your Life In 30 Minutes.” ------- What?????

I dont get the ending. Maybe just a bad joke?

Guys are creepy and Edward naturally so. I find it very hard to believe some bad ass punk chick is gonna warm up to a random guy and give him dating advice on the fly. Also, all it takes is some bad sex talk to win her back? Too easy and not interesting. Not funny. Just bland. Sorry.


http://www.TheFilmBox.org Movie reviews, news, and fun!
http://www.screenplaywritenow.com Write a screenplay. Write. Now.
http://www.SchismSEO.com Separate from your competition. Affordable SEO services
http://www.MyEasyGifter.com Because nobody likes receiving gift cards
Logged Offline
Private Message Reply: 1 - 32
irish eyes
Posted: February 2nd, 2019, 1:44pm Report to Moderator
January Project Group


There`s too much blood in my alcohol

Location
Upstate New York
Posts
1865
Posts Per Day
0.37
Had a small element of comedy , romantic not so much unless a strange tatoo artist teaching edward to talk dirty to his girlfriend qualifys.

Not a bad script and the writing was good.

Good job on entering


Logged Offline
Private Message Reply: 2 - 32
ghost and_ghostie gal
Posted: February 2nd, 2019, 7:25pm Report to Moderator
Old Timer



Location
A helluva long way from LA
Posts
1565
Posts Per Day
0.29
In an alternative universe I could see the title being "Talk Dirty to Me."  I wished this had been funnier.  I didn't laugh once, or even smile.  The tone is right for a rom com, but tone alone does not a rom com make.

But I have no dog in this fight.

Kudos for finishing.


Logged
Private Message Reply: 3 - 32
Warren
Posted: February 2nd, 2019, 11:40pm Report to Moderator
Of The Ancients


A man who has taught his mind to misbehave

Location
Sydney, Australia
Posts
3897
Posts Per Day
1.36
Hi Writer,

Congrats on getting an entry in.

Some interesting format choices I don't agree with, but I understood what you wanted me to.

I can see the comedy elements but that's the issue for me is that they feel forced and don't really work.

The script as a whole needs some work.

All the best.



Revision History (1 edits)
Warren  -  February 4th, 2019, 5:57pm
Logged
Private Message Reply: 4 - 32
LC
Posted: February 3rd, 2019, 8:15am Report to Moderator
Administrator



Location
The Great Southern Land
Posts
7581
Posts Per Day
1.34
Nice title.

Was somebody inspired by Jeff's tale of woe with his girlfriend the other day?

The set up for this one reminds me of Rosebud -  same type of plot - a female character schooled in the art of what women want coaches a male character to help him win back his love.

Only trouble with this one was the lack of development in character, and I don't feel there's a really satisfying denouement.  There's just not enough to this and it's all too easy.

'resitting Shelley'? Bit of an auto correct/typo blunder there.
'Remembering' instead of a Flashback?

Okay, I don't want to lay it on too thick...
Bit light on with the red, roses, chocolate.

The guys in these stories really aren't too smart are they? God help us girls.


Logged
Private Message Reply: 5 - 32
SAC
Posted: February 3rd, 2019, 9:34am Report to Moderator
Of The Ancients


… but some dreams do

Location
Upstate NY
Posts
3201
Posts Per Day
0.79
Writer,

This was cute. I like the Cyrano aspect of this, but felt it didn’t take it far enough in the humor department. Perhaps due to time constraints. But with a little thought I think this script can be a winner. Keep working on it.

Well done, but needs work.

Steve


Logged Offline
Private Message Reply: 6 - 32
eldave1
Posted: February 3rd, 2019, 3:26pm Report to Moderator
January Project Group



Location
Southern California
Posts
6874
Posts Per Day
1.95
I kind of liked it.

There were a couple of places where you went over the top and that wasn't needed. IT actually would have resonated more with a little more subtlety.

But all in all a pretty decent tale well written.


My Scripts can all be seen here:

http://dlambertson.wix.com/scripts
Logged Offline
Private Message Reply: 7 - 32
Sandra Elstree.
Posted: February 3rd, 2019, 5:45pm Report to Moderator
Of The Ancients


What if the Hokey Pokey, IS what it's all about?

Location
Bowden, Alberta
Posts
3664
Posts Per Day
0.60
Dear Writer,

You did well with this.

First off, it's memorable. The title is good and gives us something to hold onto.

You had some amazing opening with the imagery. For example:

>He’s a dreary looking 30-ish man with a sorrowful look sitting in the chair like a monument to drabness.

I would really like to see the dialogue toned down. Not just in your script, but over all I'm just so fed up with the swearing and overdone sex... Whatever happened to the days when men courted girls? But there I go... Still recovering from yesterday's awful start to the OWC. I had to go and stare at the sun to recover. ... Ah but today's a new day and your script holds promise!!!

I had to laugh at Edward getting her a Dust Buster for Valentines!  

Dear Lord of Valentine's: Please let me win the lottery and let us get one of those Robot Vacumes. Amen!!!  

You did a good job with characters. He's a messy guy and she's a compulsive cleaner. A match made in heaven!

Nice happy effort!

Sandra



A known mistake is better than an unknown truth.
Logged Offline
Site Private Message Reply: 8 - 32
Sandra Elstree.
Posted: February 3rd, 2019, 5:47pm Report to Moderator
Of The Ancients


What if the Hokey Pokey, IS what it's all about?

Location
Bowden, Alberta
Posts
3664
Posts Per Day
0.60

Quoted from eldave1
I kind of liked it.

There were a couple of places where you went over the top and that wasn't needed. IT actually would have resonated more with a little more subtlety.



Completely agree. With a subtle hand, this can be really good.



A known mistake is better than an unknown truth.
Logged Offline
Site Private Message Reply: 9 - 32
Vincent
Posted: February 3rd, 2019, 8:29pm Report to Moderator
New


Posts
30
Posts Per Day
0.01
Enjoy the Cyrano influences, but the humor needed to be amplified (and a bit more subtle).

It should be "lightning," NOT "lightening," at the start of page 4.

Like it; wanted to love it. Good premise that needs revision.
Logged Offline
Private Message Reply: 10 - 32
Matthew Taylor
Posted: February 4th, 2019, 7:31am Report to Moderator
January Project Group



Location
Shakespeare's county
Posts
1770
Posts Per Day
0.89
Hi Writer

Sorry, didn't like this one.

Tula seems too nice and accommodating - not that these people don;t exist, but didn't make for good reading - would have been funnier (imho) if she was more of a hard ass, sarcastic, insulting but still helpful, she was a bit too sweet.

Premise is alright, being told to buck his ideas up, a bit like telling a barman your woes.

The last line Edward speaks killed his character for me, didn't like him. He is trying to reconcile with his girlfriend and then some crude comment about Tula's tits?

Didn't land - Didn't find any humour in it either.

Wait - where's the chocolates? are they in there? if they are I don't remember them - is the red and the roses just from the tattoo? alright I guess

Well done for completing the challenge


Feature

42.2

Two steps to writing a good screenplay:
1) Write a bad one
2) Fix it
Logged
Private Message Reply: 11 - 32
Dreamscale
Posted: February 4th, 2019, 6:52pm Report to Moderator
Guest User



Opening passage very awkwardly written, and the passive writing ain't never gonna work.  You don't give us Tula's age, so no way I can visualize her.  You say "young", but that is extremely relative, and you have readers of all ages.

"Slowly, one by one, eating every candy from a heart shaped box." - Very poorly written.

HA!  Dialogue is funny, and actually reminds me of...well...me!

"EDWARD REMEMBERS" - Huh?  Is this supposed to be a Flashback?  If so, you really need to format it correctly.

You don't give us Sophia's age, either...no clue at all, actually.

The Flashback is very awkwardly written..stilted, not engaging at all.

"We hear..." we're going to hear and see everything you write down, so no need to use this kind of BS.

"PHONE/OVER" - Uh...how about V.O.?

Ha!  That's pretty good, actually.  Dialogue is great.  Action/description writing is poor.  Roses, chocolates, and red not well done, and that's too bad as this could have been a contender.

***1/2

Revision History (1 edits)
Warren  -  February 5th, 2019, 8:58am
Logged
e-mail Reply: 12 - 32
khamanna
Posted: February 4th, 2019, 10:58pm Report to Moderator
January Project Group



Posts
4194
Posts Per Day
0.79
Well written and all but too straight forward and for that reason it's about nothing for me.
There's no twist, just a story of a guy who wants a girl and follows someone's instructions.  
I wish he was more proactive himself, Tula is more of a man than Edward is.

I just wish it was more.
But the writing is good. The poem is good, although I don't like this kind of poems.
Logged Offline
Private Message Reply: 13 - 32
Grandma Bear
Posted: February 5th, 2019, 8:52am Report to Moderator
Administrator



Location
The Swamp...
Posts
7961
Posts Per Day
1.36
Page 1.   Eating candy from a heart shaped box. I hope this is not your attempt at checking off the chocolate requirement.  

Well, the first page is funny. The dialogue works well so far.

Page 3.   Feel like Tula's dialogue is starting to ruin the good humorous mood you had going.

Page 5.   Resitting?

Finished. I liked it. You have a knack for dialogue. I did think you cheated on the items to include though. There were no chocolates. The roses, okay, but what about the color red? Did I miss something?

This script could easily be something someone would want to film. Especially if you make it a little more visual. Right now, it's pretty much all dialogue.

Great job even if you lose some points over the chocolates and the color red.  


Logged
Private Message Reply: 14 - 32
PKCardinal
Posted: February 7th, 2019, 12:26pm Report to Moderator
January Project Group



Location
Kansas
Posts
1447
Posts Per Day
0.63
Hard to root for a guy getting back with his girlfriend when he's making comments like that to another woman. Kills any chance for romance.

(After reading about half of these entries so far, I feel like we need a worldwide class: Basic Romance for Men. I feel bad for the modern woman.)

Anyway, there's stuff to like here. The tattoo artist as "bartender," helping lost souls reconnect. That's good. I suggest you keep working on this one. Make your leading man more consistent (solely focused on Sophia) and punch up the humor a bit. It's not far off, and may get made.

Also, clean up the formatting and typos as others have suggested.

Good luck!


PaulKWrites.com

60 Feet Under - Low budget, contained thriller/Feature
The Hand of God - Low budget, semi-contained thriller/Feature
Wait Till Next Year - Disney-style family sports comedy/Feature

Many shorts available for production: comedy, thriller, drama, light horror
Logged Offline
Private Message Reply: 15 - 32
James McClung
Posted: February 7th, 2019, 9:09pm Report to Moderator
Of The Ancients



Location
Washington, D.C.
Posts
3293
Posts Per Day
0.49
- Your first paragraph...

...is a sentence.

Your second paragraph technically should be a sentence.

Is there a reason these opening passages are so long-winded? Surely you could've broken them up/condensed them into something more readable.

- Why is Edward getting a tattoo of Sophia's name when he just broke up with her? Ill-advised to say the least. Shouldn't Tula say something? I think so. In fact, I think there might be a missed opportunity for comedy here around this discussion.

- The way this EDWARD REMAINS (strange format btw) sequence plays out could be interpreted as Sophia being a compulsive cleaner. It could just as easily be interpreted as Edward being messy. I'm not sure what we're supposed to make of this.

- In fact, this entire premise strikes me as strange. Does Sophia break up with Edward over the Dust Buster because it's a thoughtless gift? An insult? A bad joke? Was it in fact a thoughtless gift or bad joke on Edward's part?

Same goes for the ending. Is she using the Dust Buster because she is a compulsive cleaner? Or is she just using it cuz she has it now and this is supposed to be a gag of some sort?

Entirely possible I'm being really dense right now. But the tone here is honestly kinda inscrutable. I'm at a loss as to how all this is to be understood.

--

Strange choice to have a boring character for a protagonist. I mean, it could work to comedic effect, but I think you'd have to make him really boring. As of now, he's just boring to read but doesn't do much for the narrative. Also, has he been boring this whole time, or was he supposed to be not boring when he was reciting poems and the like?

Didn't work for me in any case.

Tula didn't work for me either. She came off as forward to an unrealistic degree, and her jokes felt like they were trying too hard. She also starts off very rude, going so far as to float Edward's plight as pathetic. Keep in mind she's a tattoo artist. Is she trying to get a tip or what?

Ending didn't work for me. Wouldn't Tula's poem strike Sophia as out of character, and the abrupt pivot back to his old love poems bizarre? Like, wouldn't "Edward, what the fuck is wrong with you" be an on-the-table response? Again, this strikes me as a potentially missed opportunity for comedy.

Not sure I could get a proper read on this one, to be fair, but it didn't appeal to me.


Logged
Private Message Reply: 16 - 32
Dreamscale
Posted: February 7th, 2019, 9:18pm Report to Moderator
Guest User



James, this isn't mine, first of all, but in reading your feedback, I just get the sense that you aren't seeing this...or these...in the sense they're intended.

Maybe I don't quite get ROMCOM, but I'm pretty sure I do, as I've seen hundreds, but for me, a ROMCOM is almost always over the top goofy, and far from what would be "realistic".

Know what I'm saying?

That's cool you didn't like this one, but I definitely did.  No matter, but it's easily one of the better entries, and for me, very funny.  Just saying...
Logged
e-mail Reply: 17 - 32
Sandra Elstree.
Posted: February 7th, 2019, 9:42pm Report to Moderator
Of The Ancients


What if the Hokey Pokey, IS what it's all about?

Location
Bowden, Alberta
Posts
3664
Posts Per Day
0.60

Quoted from James McClung
-

Same goes for the ending. Is she using the Dust Buster because she is a compulsive cleaner? Or is she just using it cuz she has it now and this is supposed to be a gag of some sort?



I believe she is using it because she is a compulsive cleaner as shown in the early scene with her cleaning his mess of crumbs at the table.

However, just because a woman is a compulsive cleaner, it doesn't mean she doesn't want, even need, spiritually, a sentimental gift.  




A known mistake is better than an unknown truth.
Logged Offline
Site Private Message Reply: 18 - 32
James McClung
Posted: February 7th, 2019, 9:57pm Report to Moderator
Of The Ancients



Location
Washington, D.C.
Posts
3293
Posts Per Day
0.49

Quoted from Dreamscale
James, this isn't mine, first of all, but in reading your feedback, I just get the sense that you aren't seeing this...or these...in the sense they're intended.

Maybe I don't quite get ROMCOM, but I'm pretty sure I do, as I've seen hundreds, but for me, a ROMCOM is almost always over the top goofy, and far from what would be "realistic".

Know what I'm saying?

That's cool you didn't like this one, but I definitely did.  No matter, but it's easily one of the better entries, and for me, very funny.  Just saying...


I'd agree in the sense that perhaps I shouldn't be looking for or expecting realism in every script I read. I do prefer some grounding in logic in order to follow a story, but that's a preference and perhaps a little unfair to project on others who have different ideas of comedy they want to present. I also made a point to say I may not have understood the humor in this one.

I didn't find this one to be over-the-top goofy though, except for some of Tula's lines (in fact, I think I would've appreciated some over-the-top goofy responses to what over-the-top goofy lines there were). But if the lines don't strike me as goofy, funny, or realistic, I don't know what you want me to do. Something could just as easily read as unnatural because the writer couldn't make it work, as opposed to them intending it to be silly or whatever. That happens, and it's a possibility I'm wary of. There've been other scripts in this challenge where I've recognized attempts at comedy and more or less let them slide. I might've said they aren't funny but, in those cases, more for the sake that the writer would want to know what I thought either way.


Logged
Private Message Reply: 19 - 32
James McClung
Posted: February 7th, 2019, 10:04pm Report to Moderator
Of The Ancients



Location
Washington, D.C.
Posts
3293
Posts Per Day
0.49

Quoted from Sandra Elstree.


I believe she is using it because she is a compulsive cleaner as shown in the early scene with her cleaning his mess of crumbs at the table.

However, just because a woman is a compulsive cleaner, it doesn't mean she doesn't want, even need, spiritually, a sentimental gift.  



Of course.


Logged
Private Message Reply: 20 - 32
Sandra Elstree.
Posted: February 7th, 2019, 10:17pm Report to Moderator
Of The Ancients


What if the Hokey Pokey, IS what it's all about?

Location
Bowden, Alberta
Posts
3664
Posts Per Day
0.60
Alrighty folks!

Going over these with one of those fine tooth combs like in Payer Fedris.  

I'm struggling whether to keep this one in my running. It's a really tight neck & neck horse race. And I love a good thoroughbred horserace!

There was a bit of dialogue that I was able to ignore, but it's niggling at me:

TULA
A woman doesn’t want you to worship her.
She wants you to make her feel totally
feminine.

Nope. I totally want to be worshipped.  

And the

She wants you to make her feel totally feminine.

Hmmm...

I don't think that holds true either.

When I was a kid, I was pretty darn good at throwing a tomahawk. Yeah, I know... who lets their kid play with an axe? Hey, my dad was the most amazing guy to sharpen knives! Back in those days, you better know how to use all that stuff and not just to kill people with.  

So yeah, the feminine line doesn't quite work, but it does for Tula's perspective. So okay, after having that chat with myself, I guess it's good. But the worshipped... Hmmm?



A known mistake is better than an unknown truth.
Logged Offline
Site Private Message Reply: 21 - 32
Cameron
Posted: February 8th, 2019, 2:50pm Report to Moderator
Guest User



Alright Writer,

It was okay, this one. I’m not really sure about the last “tits” line, it didn’t really scan that well, but apart from that it was quite nice.

My main issue is that it didn’t really feel complete. You’ve got some good patter down, but there wasn’t a convincing circularity to it.

Anyway, good job overall.

Cam
Logged
e-mail Reply: 22 - 32
Zack
Posted: February 8th, 2019, 9:26pm Report to Moderator
January Project Group



Location
Erlanger, KY
Posts
4487
Posts Per Day
0.69
Another solid one, here.

Nice, short, and sweet. Not too funny, though. At least, not to me.

I like the way you incorporated the rose, through the tattoo. Clever. You got the chocolate in there, too. Did I miss the red? Hmm...

I'd lose Edwards final line about the tattoo chicks boobs. It kinda undermines the message of the story.

Overall, good stuff.

Zack
Logged
Private Message Reply: 23 - 32
DaveTroop
Posted: February 9th, 2019, 12:30am Report to Moderator
January Project Group



Location
at my desk
Posts
127
Posts Per Day
0.03
Worshiping Tula's boobs.

Sorry, just a meh for me.

There were some very creative formatting choices.
EDWARD REMEMBERS ?

The comedy was just okay.  The dustbuster bit was kinda funny.  Some of Tula's dialogue was too extreme to be funny.

Chocolate?

It's not easy to write a ten page romcom, let alone tell it with flashbacks, etc.

I think I would rather see a romcom with Tula and Edward falling in love at the tattoo shop.    
Logged Offline
Private Message Reply: 24 - 32
Gary in Houston
Posted: February 9th, 2019, 12:32pm Report to Moderator
January Project Group



Location
Texas
Posts
1306
Posts Per Day
0.32
Not half bad -- the use of a female "Cyrano de Bergerac" is a nice twist on the old tale.  I like that Tula got him started and then Edward started freelancing and that got him back in Sophia's graces.


I felt like you missed on the chocolate and the humor portions of the challenges -- they were there, sort of, but not used to their potential.

But overall, not a bad effort here.

Best of luck,
Gary


Some of my scripts:

Bounty (TV Pilot) -- Top 1% of discoverable screenplays on Coverfly
I'll Be Seeing You (short) - OWC winner
The Gambler (short) - OWC winner
Skip (short) - filmed
Country Road 12 (short) - filmed
The Family Man (short) - filmed
The Journeyers (feature) - optioned

Logged Offline
Private Message Reply: 25 - 32
Sandra Elstree.
Posted: February 10th, 2019, 12:24am Report to Moderator
Of The Ancients


What if the Hokey Pokey, IS what it's all about?

Location
Bowden, Alberta
Posts
3664
Posts Per Day
0.60
You've written a good script here. Let's see how it battles out!




A known mistake is better than an unknown truth.
Logged Offline
Site Private Message Reply: 26 - 32
jayrex
Posted: February 11th, 2019, 1:08pm Report to Moderator
Old Timer


Cut to three weeks earlier

Location
London, UK
Posts
1420
Posts Per Day
0.22
I actually think a dust buster present is a good idea.  Although my missus has told me to stop being so practical.

You’ve got some nice dialogue.

On page one, I don’t know what this CU. stands for.  Assume a camera angle.

I assume the heart shape tattoo is coloured red.  But we will never know.  Shame no chocolates were there.  I thought this script had a good vibe.


Logged Offline
Site Private Message Reply: 27 - 32
ReneC
Posted: February 12th, 2019, 1:13pm Report to Moderator
Old Timer



Location
Vancouver, BC
Posts
1435
Posts Per Day
0.31
The dialogue is great, for the most part. A few spelling mistakes, some formatting issues, and how many times can you say tattoo in the opening paragraph? Maybe it was a rush job.

I'm assuming you meant chocolates when you said "candy" but you should have just said so. The red and the flowers is the tattoo? Pretty much all a cop out.

Wouldn't Edward and Tula hear Sophia vacuuming over the phone? It really undermines her reason for ending things just three hours earlier...an odd choice for sure.

Lots of zingers throughout, but it's not really funny. Fun to read, that's about it. Romance? If reciting (see what I did there?) poetry counts as romance, then I guess so. I do like the ending, but the title and logline suggests this is Edward's story and it really isn't. The ending makes it clearly about Tula.

I don't think this really meets the requirements, but it does pay lip service to them at least. I do like your Tula character, she's terrific. Edward was all over the place, he changed to whatever you needed him to be to make the "comedy" work.

Good effort, I'm kind of middle of the road on it. I'd read anything with Tula in it though.


Logged Offline
Site Private Message Reply: 28 - 32
Spqr
Posted: February 12th, 2019, 8:26pm Report to Moderator
New


Posts
483
Posts Per Day
0.09
Nice, and the characters are great. However, I might tweak the flashback scene at Starbucks: after Edward makes a total mess, I doubt neat-freak Sophia is going to reward him with a smile.

As for the tatoo, do people get tatoos of someone they just broke off with? Maybe he already has her name tattooed on his forearm, and he wants Tula to add the words "I hate" in front of the name. Or if he's not comfortable with such strong language, maybe he wants Tula to "who?" after the name.

Before she commences work, Tula advises him to think carefully about taking this irrevocable step, and pries the story out of him.
Logged Offline
Private Message Reply: 29 - 32
AnthonyCawood
Posted: February 15th, 2019, 6:25pm Report to Moderator
January Project Group



Location
UK
Posts
4319
Posts Per Day
1.14
Sorry I didn't buy Edward or Sophia, or their relationship so their romcom didn't work for me.

Tula was good though, maybe she should've been the love interest.


Anthony Cawood - Award winning screenwriter
Available Short screenplays - http://www.anthonycawood.co.uk/short-scripts
Available Feature screenplays - http://www.anthonycawood.co.uk/feature-film-scripts/
Screenwriting articles - http://www.anthonycawood.co.uk/articles
IMDB Link - http://www.imdb.com/name/nm6495672/?ref_=fn_al_nm_1
Logged Offline
Site Private Message Reply: 30 - 32
Dreamscale
Posted: February 15th, 2019, 7:23pm Report to Moderator
Guest User




Quoted from jayrex
I actually think a dust buster present is a good idea.  Although my missus has told me to stop being so practical.


From much experience..practical - Hell Yes!  Well received by female - Hell No!!!



T=But, the idea reads like my life story, minus the tattoos!  HA!!

Logged
e-mail Reply: 31 - 32
Sandra Elstree.
Posted: February 16th, 2019, 1:10am Report to Moderator
Of The Ancients


What if the Hokey Pokey, IS what it's all about?

Location
Bowden, Alberta
Posts
3664
Posts Per Day
0.60

Quoted from jayrex
I actually think a dust buster present is a good idea.  Although my missus has told me to stop being so practical.



What's WRONG with me?! I must have missed the memo but:

I THINK A DUST BUSTER IS A DAMN GOOD PRESENT!!!




A known mistake is better than an unknown truth.
Logged Offline
Site Private Message Reply: 32 - 32
 Pages: 1, 2, 3 : All
Recommend Print

Locked Board Board Index    January 2019 -  One Week Challenge  [ previous | next ] Switch to:
Was Portal Recent Posts Home Help Calendar Search Register Login

Forum Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post polls
You may not post attachments
HTML is on
Blah Code is on
Smilies are on


Powered by E-Blah Platinum 9.71B © 2001-2006