Hilarious. Especially loved the way they turned the tables on Dr. Friedman.

Loved the turn with the therapist at the end.

Script felt a bit bloated though at the end. Maybe tighten up the last few pages.

Other problem point was - once we determined that it was the 12 days of Christmas, I felt dread that we were going to go through all 12. From there, I was just waiting to clear the gift list, wondering where the story would go AFTER the list was complete. Would recommend speeding that part of the script even more than you do.

Still, fun script. Liked it. Good job.

I like this one. Pretty lighthearted, and plenty romantic enough. You even ticked the boxes with the roses and chocolate.

The writing was crisp, making for a quick read. Very easy to visualize.

I also enjoyed the characters, and I liked how the couple kind of turned on the doctor by the end.

Top marks from me.

Zack

12 Crazy Days

Sorry, I didn’t buy into this premise at all.

Marc’s actions are totally insane, even for a comedy.  There’s no explanation good enough to justify his behavior.  I know about taking a normal situation to its extreme, but a houseful of twenty something birds isn’t funny to me.

The story starts out promising and sets up a familiar situation.  A marriage in need of fixing is perfect material for a romcom.  Add in some witty, abusive, verbal exchanges and a reconciliation and there you have it.

It’s a shame because you do supply the couple with some funny lines to throw at each other.
Along with some real groaners.

The script really gets bogged down in the middle, but you are committed to see it through to the end.  Unfortunately, you lost me around day five.

Thanks for entering.

Well what can I say.

You're the man! Or woman!
You took absolutely unbelievable idea and turned it into something believable. I guess that's what writing it about. Great job.

This is my kind of story.  I see similar traits of Marc in me.

This was creative, an easy read, fun to read, and hit the right tone.

The comedy and romance was there.

Truly a story I love.

I spent about six months making my wedding proposal creating a monopoly board from scratch of all our first dates and places we went to.  Created the cards.  Got fake dice.  Turned luxury tax into wedding tax, since it has a ring on it.  And waited about six weeks until she was in the mood to play.  And I secretly recorded it all.

I wish I had thought of this. I want to write it with my own take on the antics. That would be a compliment, right?  

So, this gave me the biggest laughs so far. I loved Gretchen's reactions to the birds especially. The kicker was when the bird shit and Marc said it was good luck. It made me LOL.

The comedy could do with some punch up for comedic timing. That's not something just anyone can get right, but it is something you can learn. You hit it in a few places, but it misses more often.

Structurally, this is all over the place. The opening is unnecessary and doesn't really set the stage for the comedy. Gretchen has some pretty strong emotions that don't ease into a reversal so much as flip like a switch. The transition from flashbacks to pure exposition is abrupt too, why didn't you just keep the visual comedy going?

Speaking of the flashbacks, you didn't even write it as a montage or a series of shots, you simply put SUPERs followed by a quick description. This is still a script, and you know what you're doing, so do it.

The doctor is the biggest problem. You're trying to make her believably react to the antics and sort of do her job, but this is absurdist comedy. Instead of using the device of marriage counselling to get Gretchen to reverse her stance effectively, she interferes with the process and our enjoyment of it. It would have been far better if she didn't really say anything at all, just let Gretchen and Marc play off each other with Gretchen slowly coming around to appreciating it all just by having talked it out, and the doc can just be the soundboard with a few non-verbal reactions and be left in stunned silence after that storm that just blew through her office.

I'll certainly remember this one, and I did enjoy it, problems aside. Well done.

Hmm, sort of saw where this was going from the off...

And it just then took a long while to get there.

Interesting use of the word ogling, an eight year old lecherously eyeing a game bird is just wrong!