Maryland Therappins jacket - what is it? Like world known designer or something?
Why should I google it, I shouldn't. I won't!

And then, Mark is asking Barry to give Alexandra flowers in a very strange way. It's like he's asking to give flowers to any tall lady that comes his way.
Maybe he should give him her address. That way he'll be sure that Barry doesn't give the flowers to the wrong woman.

The dialog here doesn't always flow.
MARK
Did you--
ALEXANDRA
Did I what?

Mark is still confused by her response.

I wonder why he's confused and "still confused" He inferred Barry gave the candy and roses to the wrong woman I guess.
But that was very expected.

Unfortunately the further I got with the read the more questions I had. I don't know if I should list them all here.
This doesn't work for me that's all. Happens I guess.

Hey writer,

Myeeehhh, it’s a 9 page kinda play on the difference between a short arse and a tall lady. Bruce Bigalow Male Gigalo (don’t judge me) managed more comedy on a similar scene over the space of 30 seconds.

It had romance! Comedy? Not so much.

Well done on entering.

Cam

Edit, edit, edit, edit! Clumsy dialog that needs to be diced and sliced and cut into slivers. Character backgrounds described with no indication in dialog or action as to who the people are. He's short, she's tall. End of story. Who cares what their clothes look like? Who cares what's at the subway station? Who cares about going to Seattle? Cut, cut, cut, cut! Where's the complication? Obvious beginner.

Most of the issues have already been covered. Biggest one for me is - we need more conflict. Even the missed handoff was easily overcome.

Good job on entering. Keep writing!

Without reading the comments that have come beforehand.

I didn't notice any comedy element.  It was more drama and romance.

I wasn't drawn into the story.  Just felt like it took too long to get anywhere.  The ending was bland too.  With the title and basketball bit.  I would have thought this would have featured a lot more than it did.

Nice angle on the height difference.  Overall, this didn't do it for me.

Hi Writer,

Definitively romantic, but light on the humor.

I liked that you introduced a physical mismatch. Well done.

It is dialogue-heavy and not much happens, it needs some more conflict.

There are some unfilmables, but writing is good.

Overall - not bad, but it needs work.

Good job on entering. This one was a tough challenge.

To be honest, there’s not much going on here. The only conflict is the missed flower connection at the subway, and that turned out perfectly fine. I guess you were trying to turn the height difference into something of a conflict, but even that didn’t matter.

The dialogue is way too on the nose and expository. Needs to be cleaned up. Also, it was weird where a character would be talking in voice over (v.o.), when I think you meant they were just talking to themself, in which case you should just say in parentheses: (to herself).

Needs a little more depth to the story, and the humor is fairly slight for a rom-com.

Best of luck,
Gary

Bunch of things I wanna nitpick about the open – don’t need to tell us he’s a junior partner or she is newly hired.  Opening line of dialogue should pop more. “she stands under his door” is just weird writing.  I'm not gonna harp on that stuff going forward, but just keep it in mind.

The dialogue is strange in a bunch of spots.  Stuff like “I’ve long wanted to be an attorney” doesn’t sound authentic at all. Mark just saying “okay.” “Tomorrow, the morning of Valentine’s Day…” Etc.  These don’t sound like real people, even if you’re making them intellectuals.

Sorry to say, it’s also not very interesting conversation.

All the action lines are overwritten.

Too much Voiceover. “Hurry girl – you’ll be late!”  pretty sure we can understand her rush just from a descriptive line there, the dialogue is useless.

So much reliance on clothing… I get that you had to incorporate red, but just leave it at the jacket, don’t care about her blouse etc.

There isn’t much legal jargon, but none of it is interesting.  This is lacking heavily in the “com” aspect of the challenge.
“ok talk to you later.”  “bye” – just kill dialogue like this.  If you can’t have them say something defining or funny, don’t even have words exchanged.

Sorry for coming back to this, but none of these people sound real! “Why didn’t you call me to say she never appeared?” no one talks like that!  Especially in a rom com.

Exposition city.  “Here is what we did, robot wife.”  “Yes, wasn’t it a hell of a ride, android husband? I am tall for some reason.”

I sound like a douche, but there’s just nothing interesting here.  Guy likes tall girl from office – society doesn’t want them together because they work together and … she is taller than him?  He wants a stranger to give her flowers for some reason, but she wears the wrong color jacket, and then fast forward 2 years, they are happily married.  Very light on rom, completely void of com.