Very nice. Very mythic. His final line, “I”ll be waiting” is good but a little ambiguous. What will he be waiting for: To fight Hel or to die? My bet is on the former, so maybe instead of saying he’ll be waiting, he should say something like “My sword will be sharp.” Only better, of course.

The dialogue is a bit on the nose: "No one comes back alive", ""At Fornheimr's core, that which you
seek lies beyond the Draugr.", "It's just a tale.", "You know it's not." I think it would be of no harm to just skip this on the nose dialogue between Sigurd and Embla and leave just a couple phrases ("My love", "It will be ok"). Perhaps that scene on pages 2-3 without dialogue would give the viewer some context, but there would be a bit of a mystery as to why and where he is going - I don't think there is anything wrong with a little bit of mystery and letting the viewer make guesse.

So who lit the torch on page 6? Is it magic? I think that even in stories with fantastical elements maintaining real-life logic benefits the story, makes it more realistic. But in this case it probably is some sort of magic, since Sigurd is in a supernatural cave.

I wish the Draugr didn't give up so quickly and insisted he is Embla, making Sigurd doubt himself. What's the point of trying to fool someone if you give up so quickly? It would be a challenge for the protagonist to overcome. I'd say it's a missed opportunity.

Hel is a she.

It was somewhat difficult to read at first, though maybe it's just me.

The protagonist and Embla have both been so close to death, one of the most intense experiences a human can have, and it doesn't seem that changed them in any way. I think this point (both of them on the verge of dying) has potential for character arcs. Maybe they both went through a similar experience, but it changed them in different ways? I wish we knew something more about the characters, Who is Sigurd? From the way he wields his sword, we can assume he is a warrior (it might also be interesting if he wouldn't be a warrior, but some skald, and had to do fight the Draugr). But what kind of warrior? Maybe the woman he loves is someone he met when pillaging a village and instead of raping her he actually saw something in her that tamed his inner animal? Or maybe something else happened. Lots of opportunities for backstory and character development here. Same for Embla - who is she? How did she end up dying? I think character development could make the story stand out more.

An interesting read, nonetheless.

Great script and writing here. Not much to say that others haven't said already. Clearly a pro at work. Kinda reminded me of Beowulf. I would've liked to see more interaction on top of pg 6 between Sigurd and Draugr before its true self is revealed. Nothing else to complain about really. Probably my fave so far.

Very well done.

Only complaint is lack of originality in the story. We pretty well know how this is going to play out early, it's just a matter of the specifics from there. Would have been nice to be surprised a bit.

Still, a good piece of writing.

Side note: You killed my computer. Twelve years, with me every day... and it died when I opened your script. I feel good that the last thing it saw was a good script.

(And, since it killed one computer, I was leery of opening the script on my laptop. Saved this script for very last, in case it was cursed. Glad I got to read it. Even more glad my laptop survived the reading.          Farewell, my faithful iMac.)

Hey,

For another time the 'beats' take me out of the read. They don't belong into the world I'm experiencing.

not sure if you need the flashback – I mean, the original chronology would have done it, and imo even better, since you, as is, break from the journey and send us back to the slow dramatic impulse.

A little Nibelungensagaesque :-)

Yeah, and they all lived happily ever after. So be it.

I think the plot is a little too slow. Partly, it felt like a stage play- love choreography - fight choreography - love choreography- pretty straight and structured.

The atmosphere of the journey worked fine. That said, it wasn't what I'd call multi-layered, or say, complex storytelling, either. But okay, not everything has to be... All in all a solid, good work in my eyes.

Writer,

good marks for this one. Well paced, liked the flashbacks, even though they weren't noted I did not mind as I'm sure some will. Ending? Meh. So, he beheads the Draugr and saves his family. Is that the best you got? Personally, I'd revisit this and come up with something a little more meaningful. A twist. Something worthy of the first 9 pages. Overall I liked this. good job.

Steve

snow-covered. Please don't be another writer with a hyphen aversion.

Weary-eyed. Still on the first page. Two errors like this mean there's not going to be a single hyphen in the script.
There's no need for a double-space after a full stop. We don't use typewriters anymore.
This story reminded me of Beowulf, not a bad thing. A linear storyline meant the ending was obvious. A bit too simple for me, I suppose.

Criteria Met (Y/N) - I don't care.
Story (1-5) -  3
Characters (1-5) - 3
Dialogue (1-5) - 5 (for the Nordic research)
Writing (1-5) - 4
Overall (1-10) - 7.5

A fair score, I think.

Nice work. You nailed it with your writing style. Story sounded familiar though. Couple of nit picks - too many beats, which I think should be pauses. Title page?

But atmospheric and imaginable.

Maybe the narrative could be drawn out as a feature eventually.

Thanks for sharing.

Tell me if this isn't kosher to post, but if anyone wants to read the script side by side with analysis: https://scriptreader.ai/disp.p.....e5a81d0&tab=cont

Looks like you scored highly. Maybe time to enter some Comps.