Hello writer

Amusing piece, absurd but enjoyable.

Writing is great, you know what you are doing - I don't think you are gunning for writer's choice with this entry - seems like you wanted to have fun instead, and fun you probably had.

It was fun to read - not sure I would enjoy watching it that much - not unless it was skit as part of a larger anthology of comedy shorts.

Nevertheless, well done

Absolutely LOVE IT! It's just a fun read, not much more I could ask for.
It's easy to imagine this working as a short film. Some things that could change formatting wise but in this case, it works.

Best joke; "Ain’t no fun if there’s no skin in the game.", little jokes like that always get me.

Have to admit, when I saw 'absurd' listed alongside comedy I didn't expect to make it through.  In all, this was pleasantly surprising—put me in mind of Monty Python/SNL.  A clean, breezy read, dialogue didn’t outstay its welcome—short and to the point with a quick back and forth dictating the pace.

As a skit I could see it working on some level—though the characters/comedy could do with punching up to really stand out.  Customer service angle feels a bit familiar, but not a huge issue.

For me it was nicely handled though not laugh out loud funny—but then much depends on the actors timing, body language etc. so maybe it doesn’t matter all that much how the idea ‘reads’ — if that makes sense.  Could well be one to come back to with fresh eyes and without the constraints.

Best of luck.

Steve

Writer,

haha! Good one. I had a lot of fun reading this and it was a welcome change from most of the entries, so good on you there. Nothing to really complain about here. My mother-in-law goes nuts on the cable people and I could never figure out why she always yelling at them. Those people take a lot of shit. Anyway, very good job here. This just might be my favorite so far.

Steve

*** easy edit -- And the writing was light as a breeze. Usually ten pages is daunting for some, but you made it go by real smooth.

A mediocre story but well devised. It's funny to a degree. Maybe it's lacking a punchline? It just kinda ends.

Criteria Met (Y/N) – I don't care.
Story (1-5) –  3.5
Characters (1-5) – 4
Dialogue (1-5) – 4
Writing (1-5) – 4
Overall (1-10) – 7.75

You define your piece as "Absurd" and you deliver! Had so much fun reading this. Nicely done!

Thanks for all the comments on my script. Appreciate the reads and the encouragement.

With my mom in the hospital for several weeks now, my life has been on its ear. I had a two hour window to write this, and knew I probably couldn't write a winner in that short of time. So, I decided to just blow off some steam and have a bit of fun.

Anticipating a big ball off bad writing, I decided to go ahead and try and work every single parameter into the script. Because, why not? (Sorry, Dave. It was intentional, if not well-advised.) Hey, if it was going to be bad, it might as well be clever. Bad idea.

Anyway, I had a blast writing it. Sounds like a few of you had fun reading it. So, goal met.

Best,
Paul

Hey, Dude.

Great work for just a two hour effort! One of my favorites of the bunch.

Hope you Mom is doing well.

Quoted from Zack Hey, Dude. Great work for just a two hour effort! One of my favorites of the bunch. Hope you Mom is doing well.

Thanks! Yes, she's turned the corner. So, good news there.

This one's getting made in Sussex, England, which I think is just about the perfect home for this script.

I'll share when it's complete!

Awesome news, congrats!

Thanks, Rene!

Quoted from PKCardinal This one's getting made in Sussex, England, which I think is just about the perfect home for this script. I'll share when it's complete!

Congrats, be great to see what they do with it.

Awesome news!

Great news. It will be interesting to see how such a bonkers (in a good way) screenplay transfers to the screen. Good luck!