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SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board    One Week Challenge    January 2020 -  One Week Challenge  ›  Whitest Woods - OWC Moderators: ReneC, Administrator
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  Author    Whitest Woods - OWC  (currently 1068 views)
Zack
Posted: January 31st, 2020, 11:07am Report to Moderator
January Project Group



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Wow. That logline is a mouthful. Not a great start.

Okay. So we have a new writer here. Good news. You're in the right place, and you are doing the right things. Keep writing. Study some of your favorite movies. And read more scripts. Then read some more. And keep writing!

Good job on getting something into the OWC.




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SAC
Posted: February 1st, 2020, 11:10pm Report to Moderator
Of The Ancients


… but some dreams do

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Writer,

Normally I don't bail on scripts or not read at all, but it's late and I'm under the gun. The first words out of my mouth when I saw your first page, literally, was "oh boy.' Those five line action blocks -- so many of them. You need to trim that way down. White space on the page is your friend! Don't think you had a FADE IN, and no need to put a colon after your character names in dialogue. And that's just what I got with a glance.

Anyway, writer, good on you for writing and getting an entry in. you can PM me if you like and we can go over your script together, if you like. Keep writing AND reading.

Steve


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