Quoted from Andrew This isn't a story, it's a fairly well-written example of what constitutes the structure of a script minus the meat. Bare essential storytelling, really. Andrew

I'd agree with this - it felt like it was skillfully written, but it lacked any creative juices to make it exciting/interesting. The woman appeared feisty at one point then a little submissive later on; and the guy came accross as a little limp - that may have been intentional, but I think that stronger characters make for a more interesting read.

SC7,

Fair points made. By both yourself and AA.

I'd a couple of actors and a director in mind when I wrote it. They're interested but I'll believe it when I see it. I wish them the best. They do tell me they like it and it'll work. So, we'll see. Or maybe we won't.

I find a good healthy dose of cynical but quiet attitude is helpful for a scriptwriter when promises are made. This can always be amended when promises are kept.

Thank you for the compliment about the writing skill. I can't argue with the rest of your points either as reading it now shows your opinions have some foundation.

I think the script probably needs a good rewrite. I do like 'bare' but this seems to need a bit more meat on its bones.

Thank you for the read.

R