So, here's the confession.  Shelton and I were discussing when the challenge was issued that I would write a piece that systematically broke every "rule" listed on the site.  Basically to raise a ruckus because he was bored.

Then the week passed.  I planned on writing the script on Friday afternoon and then I got a phone call from a friend.  "Hey, let's go to that Greek restaurant near you." I went.  There was some ouzo and some grape leaves and some lamb. And did I mention the ouzo?

I get home and decide what the heck I'll write it.  I started typing at 7:16 PM PST.  I'm chatting with Shelton and writing the script.  The first pass is done at 8:05 and then I have to get it more on the rails as far as tone and character voice.  It's as finished as it's going to be at 8:50 PM.

I didn't have time to do a final read through.  Thanks for the reads and I apologize for the typos and dropped words and whatnot.  I mentioned the ouzo, right?

This one had good atmosphere, and some witty dialogue.  Didn't follow the contest guidelines, as your post already mentioned.  

I have some questions about the story.  As I understand it, Olive got away, moved to New York and changed her name to Nicole Randolph?  I'm curious to know how she got away from Seton, seeing how he went peeling out after her from the diner parking lot.

And if she did get away, why would two cops break down Nevan's door to arrest him for murder?  What proof of murder could Seton possibly have given them?  

I think you borrowed your ending from Ace Ventura, when Ace is looking at the photograph and realizes Einhorn is Finkel.  Finkel-Einhorn.

I'd say this was one of the more atmospheric entries, however, it just didn't follow the rules of the challenge.  And I did have a problem with some of the turns the story took.  

Not bad, though.

Hi, Cam.  The "rules" that I mentioned in my previous entry were not the rules of the contest but those completely fictional hard and fast rules about how you should write and structure a piece here on the boards.  Blame Shelton.

I used the picnic as a recurring motif and there are two picnics separated by a fair amount of time.  We have the nude picnic  shoot in which Nevan gives her the letter and in a way the contents of that letter are the biggest secret of the piece. Nevan loves Olive and pretty much says he would do anything for her.  It is the character motivation and the throughline.

That photo plays again with Seton finding it in the darkroom.  If he would have thought that a nude photo shoot was happening he would have probably killed them both on the beach.  It's a bit of a reveal for him to see the photos.

In the present the picnic photo is the key to proving that Nevan that lied to the police about the last time he saw Olive.  But why?  

In the 1920s and 30s the LAPD was pretty much run by the Jewish mafia.  If you check out The Changeling which came out last year you get the idea.  Lots of police officers were on the take and they closed ranks pretty quickly.  You want to get rid of someone just call your friends on the force.  In Nevan's case you've got a room full of blood and a police officer saying a girl he was seen with is missing.  People were imprisoned or executed for less.

But the bigger "what happened to Olive" is answered in the color photo that Mina finds in the cigar box.  It's the family picnic image. I like the idea that Olive took the photo.  That the subject gained some control later in life.

Olive went to NY and disappeared.  Nevan never told anyone.  He had seen what the police could do with zero evidence.  If he would have told the truth about where Olive had gone he had to know that she would be brought back to Los Angeles.  She might just disappear for good while in custody.  It's not like the public would have questioned if something bad happened to a woman who posed nude for photos.  She would have gotten what she deserved.

As far as Olive physically getting away there would have been a series of scenes at the airport if I had started at 7PM instead of fifteen minutes later.

Hope I answered your question and thanks for the read.