Thanks Don for uploading the script.

The original version of "The Tides of Caeus" is now here and I hope this one clears up what happened with the 12-pager.  

Part 1 of 2 prequels to Age of Shadows.  The foundation for a greater mechanism.

-Lee

Lee,

This was much better and quite different than your initial entry. But there is also some clunky passages and confusion here and there. Nice twist with the shark/morphing/painting but I guess that will payoff better later.

A great deal of creativity overall, with some nice action throughout, but it feels like the characters are passing through gates of obstacles, rather than having the stakes rise progressively. The morphing idea was great, yet it got weird when you referred to Aro as Werewolf. Maybe Werewolf Aro? I'm not sure if it's even wrong, or how to make a solid recommendation it just feels out of place. Did I mention this is trippy?  

Dialogue was really good, even when it tapered off in the middle (OTN), but then again that might be part of it too. Either way, it contrasted with your general passages and that is a nice effect to have.

More chop comin' soon! Good work.

Quoted from oJOHNNYoNUTSo Lee, This was much better and quite different than your initial entry. But there is also some clunky passages and confusion here and there. Nice twist with the shark/morphing/painting but I guess that will payoff better later. A great deal of creativity overall, with some nice action throughout, but it feels like the characters are passing through gates of obstacles, rather than having the stakes rise progressively. The morphing idea was great, yet it got weird when you referred to Aro as Werewolf. Maybe Werewolf Aro? I'm not sure if it's even wrong, or how to make a solid recommendation it just feels out of place. Did I mention this is trippy?   Dialogue was really good, even when it tapered off in the middle (OTN), but then again that might be part of it too. Either way, it contrasted with your general passages and that is a nice effect to have. More chop comin' soon! Good work.

Johnny,

Bang on target with the "later pay off".  His journey is not yet over.  There is a lot coming for him in "Trials of Prometheus".

Werewolf Aro, hm, I could add "Aro" after Werewolf.  Werewolf's just what I landed on.  He's not really Aro, but the monster inside, same as the other character's other monster inside of him.  Two different characters in truth, but I get what you mean here.

The OTN dialogue with Ornstein I gather?  Yep.  It was intentional.  I wanted him to drive a wedge between Aro and Johan by manipulating Aro's mind with OTN revelations.  I usually steer clear of it.

Definitely different too.  Makes more sense in this form IMO.  

Thanks for the read, man.

-Lee

pm me if you get the chance