I definitely had a good feel for all the different locations you used. Of all the entries this one felt most like the Pacific Northwest to me. I’m not sure what the discovery was though.

The story was pretty good, but it seemed like it may have suffered from the page restrictions. Oscar is introduced a little too abruptly. It wasn’t clear to me why Oscar was on Knox’s s*** list. I was also unsure about the relationship between Oscar, the coyote and the totem.

This has a lot of interesting threads, but I think they could’ve all used a little more elaboration.  This is another one that I’d look forward to reading a less restricted rewrite.

Congrats on completing a challenge!

The pace is super-slow and that works beautifully with the theme and tone here. It builds slowly towards the climax, where it suddenly quickens into a rush. The effect is powerful, great job.

Great writing, rich in detail but efficient as hell. A little awkward around some sentences but that's to be expected for a week's work. The dialogue characterizes the speakers and has a definite flavour which adds to the setting. Again, great job.

I'm a little fuzzy on the story. It's a bit too subtle. The sick mother is a distraction, we don't know why Knox is dead-set on killing Oscar, and it's unclear who Oscar is, at least to me. I enjoyed this tremendously but am left frustrated that I can't see how the pieces fit together.

I also love the scene where Tay and the coyote stare at each other through the window. Powerful moment, with a side of awesome sauce.

Excellent job, one of my favourites.

I must be taking crazy pills because I'm not sure what happened in this one.  I don't see how some people like this but at the same time are confused by it.  

Blue Steel.  Le Tigra.  Ferrari.  Magnum.  They're all the same.

The wrylies aren't needed and they only add to the confusion.

This is too slow.  I'm half way through it and all that's happened is some missing girls, a sick mom (which is never explained), and Dances With Coyotes wandering around.

I feel like this is an episode of Lost.  That's not a good thing.  There are too many questions and not enough answers.

"A canine HOWL goes up from the surrounds."  I know what that means but couldn't that have been written, "A coyote HOWLS in the distance."?  

Maybe it's a cultural thing that's making this an awkward read for me.  At one point you refer to a flashlight as a torch which usually indicates an, East of the Pond writer.

I would have liked more of an explanation on the carvings.  Was Oscar the carving?  Was the carving coming to life?  I'm not sure.  Someone will have to explain this to me.

The only saving grace was the location.  I liked the beach, woods, cave, driftwood descriptions.  I felt cold and wet after reading this.

Jordan

The atmossphere here is great. This feels like a real Native American horror short. Minimalistic, simple. However, I did find it hard to follow. The mother really doesn't affect the story at all and Oscar, who might be the titular Trickster/coyote(?), seems only to be there to bring about an end to the sheriff, which I'm not sure he actually did.

Otherwise, the writing was really clear and comprehensible, I just think you minimized too much in your minimalistic approach.

Thanks to everyone who took the time to read and make notes on this.  I realise this needs a lot more clarity in order to work.  I ended up writing myself into a corner with too little time and too few pages to adequately join all the dots.  I appreciate you guys for taking the time to stick with it.  Definitely a learning curve my end -- albeit a fun one.

I really just wanted to write a good vs. evil story incorporating Native American myth.  The idea is that Tay’s an ‘animal whisperer’ -- kind of a conduit between the human and animal-spirit world.  This was meant to be the ‘discovery’ as she learns that the animals (coyote and crow) are trying to ‘tell’ her something -- that something is that Knox is a bad man.

Knox’s plan was to kidnap and murder the girls, then blame it on the stranger, Oscar, whom he thought he’d drowned that same night.  The coyote howling when Knox ‘kills’ him again in the trailer were meant to allude to the howling Tay heard the night before when Knox is presumably killing Oscar on the beach.  Though this angle needs work and is where a lot of this fails.

Oscar is the spirit of the Trickster.  His role or ‘trick’ was to use himself as bait to draw Knox out and subsequently draw Tay into her understanding of who and what she is -- leading Knox to his eventual death.

Tay realises it’s Knox when he tells her that Oscar killed the girls -- as she’s just seen them alive in the trailer.

...At least that was the general idea.  

To clear up a couple of other things mentioned:

The totems and carvings weren’t meant to be magic but there to lend a sense of local flavour and symbolism -- mostly with the coyote figure Tay takes from her mum and the gradual face emerging from Earnest’s carving and the eyes he paints on at the end.

As to the mom, I needed a confidant character for Tay to talk to about the animals. She had to play a limited part in her everyday life so as Tay could be a little more wayward.  I figured I’d make her bed-bound -- which ultimately led to another angle that couldn’t be fully explored.

I will say I enjoyed this challenge a lot.  First time I’ve tried to put something together in such a short time and I got a kick out of the parameters (even if I lost sight of them in the end) big thanks to Jeff and Don for putting this together.  It’s been interesting to see all the different takes on the challenge.

My favourites -- in no order:

Bee Boy
Special
Gazpacho Day -- just for being so darn creepy.
Unhooked

Steve.

I liked the imagery in the story and how you showed everyday life of Native Americans.  Everything flowed naturally, even when things weren't so natural.

I understand there were page restrictions for the OWC, but this did run on a little to long for me.  You could trim a few pages off the script without hurting the story.

Nice work.


Phil