Finally!  A real thriller.  Excellent.  No typos that I can see.  Unusual names.  Clean and sparking script. Character exposition through speech.

I have nothing bad to say about this at all.

Applause!

I love it!

Sandra

Yup, pretty good.  I see in your description on one of the pages you abbreviate the word them to 'em.  I guess you really got into the dialect.

Creepy and enjoyable read.

I know the author of this one, too.  

I liked the way it ended. I wouldn't have liked to see the kid cut his eye out. I think having the boy's screams at the end would have been a bad thing, too.

I liked the feeling of this script. Descriptive, dark, and spooky.

Another favorite of mine.

Cindy  

I thought the ending is that he doesn't cut out his eye, which is why the boat is on the imaginary water.

Solid effort. Original story, realistic dialogue, and a creepy atmosphere. I honestly didn't think the ending was all that problematic. Knock had to show up at some point and the final image of the boat on the water was a nice, subtle touch. Not a lot of problems here. This worked very well for me. Probably my favorite out of the bunch so far. All I'd suggest is that you fix this Nock/Knock business and maybe look into this Cajun/Creole stuff. I don't know much about it myself but somewhat brought it up so it probably wouldn't hurt to double-check your cultural accuracy.

Excellent job!

I liked the creepy atmosphere but the story didn't really do much for me.  It was a bit confusing at the end.  The dialogue was solid and different, and there was a good understated sense.  Still, I was hoping for more.  

Very strange but in a good way, it kept me on my toes, excited.

In my view there isn't much to complain about either. You had a good creepy atmosphere, nice dialog, interesting story.

Really my only complaint is that at the end it got a little confusing what was going on, I had to go back and reread it.

Overall all really well done.  

Very well-written and gripping as Boo struggles with his "gift" in one way, and his mother struggles with the "gift" for a different reason.  I like the dangling ending, as the resolution is what you make it.  Not sure I was mad about T showing up from nowhere in more ways than one.  I don't recall his specific mention early on.  The father issue got very confusing.  Opens up a lot of disturbing thoughts about this family though.

This is another short that would work better as a feature.  In nine pages, you createdc an interesting world and put in very unique characters in it.  Because it was only nine pages, it seemed rushed.  I would liked to have seen more of Tituba's and Boo's world.

My only problem with this script (besides the brevity) is that some of the character names were stranger than they should've been.  While I know it adds flavor to the story, the name T just wasn't registering with me.

Over all, a very enjoyable read.


Phil

This was a good read.  The dialogue was great and the images you created were excellent, very creppy.  Not much that hasn't already been said about this one, just a really good short, one of the best so far that I've read.

Good stuff.

Hey Seth.

First off, congrats on completing the exercise.  Unfortunately I didn't make the deadline so you did me one better.  Now that the names are revealed I'll try to review as many as I can starting with yours.

This just feels like it has your voice all over it - I'm fairly certain I would have picked you out - at least I think anyway, with it's dark tone and weighty themes but especially in the way you drop hints to the reader, allowing them to slowly piece together whats happening as the story unfolds.  

This may be a little too dark for my tastes but it was still engrossing.  The psychological aspect was definitely present.  Good job.

  

I just want to take a minute to thank those who took the time to read this. It's appreciated.

About the character's names -- yes, Tituba was inspired by the Tituba of the Salem Witch Trials. Good call. The others, Boo, T, and Nock (more appropriately, Nonc) are Cajun.

And yes, my cultural literacy could be improved. Screwed up there. Another good call. In my defence, this was written 'on the fly' in three different places; one being the bus.

About the story, for those who thought it confusing, I did too. In fact, I almost didn't submit it. My last OWC submission was very confusing -- the star rating system was in effect and, in the end, I was awarded one star. That said, I was worried about submitting a piece that wasn't, imo, as good as it could be.

In any case, I think a few things could be cleared up. It could, for example, be made more obvious that T is, in the beginning, the body that Tituba sees floating toward the boat. And, as Breanne said, Boo's situation, what's at stake in terms of his abilities, etc, should be elaborated upon. In fact, all the various relationships should be made more clear. Again, this script confuses me, and I'm the author!

Again, thanks,

Seth

Seth,

I just found out the names of the authors.  I didn't have a clue who wrote what obviously because I'm new here.

I want to congratulate you on the writing of "Diplopia."  It's a script that can't be forgotten.  This one definitely incorporated its own mood.

It was really well done and don't feel bad about confusion because getting things nailed is just part of the process.

I'm sure that plenty of good surprises will come from the little devils that lurk in the script.

Good luck with any developments and revisions you make on this.

Sandra