I already put my congratulations on the other posting, but I did want toss in my two cents for a quick review also. I liked the fact that everything works on a logical level here. Bull sharks are pretty vicious (one just chomped a girl in Sarasota last week) and are seen in rivers and creeks. (Great Whites sometimes, too!) The added dimension of the dead girl was creepy, and added another reason why the shark was swimming around the area as opposed to just a plot device to kill teenagers. Liked how Claires V.O in the beginning ties in the with the comments in the end, nice bookends to a great story.

this was a great piece of work it went straight to the point and there was nothing to say about this which was bad it was awsome great work keep it up

Hello everyone,

Sorry for the very late replies back. First of all, I'd to thank all of those who congratulated me for the whole iScript deal. Second, I've been in Indiana the second week before school started, so I didn't have much access to the computer. And plus, school has started so I have loads of homework.

Now, on to replies:

- Yes, this idea is unoriginal since it sounds like Jaws and Friday The 13th (as some people have said). I didn't mean for it to be unoriginal, but I just went with the flow and didn't mean to have parts similar to either movies.

- The whole beginning ties in to the end with the whole "death" sense and how it happens every day, and yet, we all rarely experience being near someone who dies (or actually cheating death).

- The CUT TO's...I was thinking of taking them down, but, and I'm sure others have had this happen to them also and I know it's wrong, whenever I write a script, I imagine how I would like to see it on screen, so sometimes I have CUT TOs and FADE OUTs and DISSOLVES.

- JAMES: With the Slim Jim...haha I had forgotten about the Beef Jerky Slim Jim. But that is the closest name I could remember, and I actually think that is what it's called.

- PIA: The tire death was just an example to get the audiences attention, though I am sorry about what happened to your friend and her brother. Also, with the cell phones, yeah that's something that I didn't think too clearly through, and I was sort of expecting my characters to have more things on their mind than their cell phones, depending on how long ago the attack was.

So thanks again for everyone reading. There were so many scripts posted up that I haven't even been able to read any since I've been gone. I have a three day weekend this weekend because of Labor Day so I'll try and catch up as much as possible.

Sean

I enjoyed this script very much.  To compare this to Peter Benchley's, "Jaws", I can't say that this is in any way comparable to that story.  "Jaws", there was a great white terrorizing the beach goers of Amity Island.  Here, your story, is about a bull shark that is in the area of a river where it senses blood from the body of a 7-year-old girl who was murdered.  These other people who happen to be in the area of this other wrecked boat just happen to be unlucky to fall prey to this bull shark.  With them splashing and causing commission, it isn't a wonder the shark starts to eat each one of the individuals.  Bull Sharks are far more aggressive than Great White Sharks.  Great White's are territorial.  Bull Sharks attack on instinct, and where there is activity, splashing, and various activity in the water, it tends to lash out and attack whatever is within its grasp.  

I liked this script very much.  Not too long, not too short, but still feel something could have been added to this.  What?  I am still thinking.  I find one part rather dull when the policeman shoots the shark with one bullet, hits the shark in the head, and the shark swims away.  Almost a coward act for a shark that stood its ground against the group of people, and one shot it swims away.  It would have been more exciting if the small group of people came up with a plan to kill the shark themselves with anything they could have used from the two boats.  You would be surprised as human beings, our minds are far more intelligent when it comes to acts of heroism when one is placed in such a situation.  I just feel this could have ended better than it did.  Otherwise, nice script.  It kept my interest, and with each page, I was anticipating a stronger climax of the story than the one written.

Well done.