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I was rooting for this story at the get-go because the writing was clever, the dialog was fresh and did a lot to define the character. But then, the story hit the brakes and I was confused.
The card - was it a credit card, birthday card, what was it? The shift from Tate to Cliff to Robin, and the lyrics at the end -- why did she love him for that?
Biggest concern- what about the premise of the Challenge: a film director has a piece of music and he/she needs lyrics and a script to create a story around it...where is that in this story?
That said, I think the writer is skilled technically and has a fine ear for dialog. Write on....
Biggest concern- what about the premise of the Challenge: a film director has a piece of music and he/she needs lyrics and a script to create a story around it...where is that in this story?
Welcome Big Lew! Always nice to see a new face around here.
I vote on this quote for quote of the day. Sort of puts things in perspective, doesn't it?
EDIT: I've notified Lew about the misunderstanding.
I liked this one but it was a bit confusing, the most confusing was who the main character was, i'm guessing it was Cliff but for the first half it seemed like tate. Who ever wrote this must be a Seinfeld fan with the "cry, cry again" reference. This fit the challenge and good use of the song. I just wish it was more clear who the main character was. Good work though.
..."CHURNING and BURNING"...how abecedarian of me...oh wait a minute, that's from the "moon" screenplay...sorry brooooooooooooooooooooooooo.....
God, i must be retarded, because i have not idea what you are talking about... At least quote "Dreamscale" if you're going to call him out. I didn't like your script. i know it;s the OWC, people don't have enough time, not enough pages... But you're putting yourself out there. Some criticism is constructive, some is not.
I actually pay more attention to my negative reviews than my prose. i try to retort them to think in my manner... if i cannot, i've lost them. Maybe my script isn't so good if I have to explain?
Anyways, If that was the only thing you can say to all those who've taken the time to read yours.... I know you haven't read mine. i'll be ignoring anything from you in the future.
I don't know why people post scripts on here if they are going to get so upset everytime they receive some criticism. Isn't the point of getting feedback on your scripts so you can see where things are not working and where you can improve?
For this particular script there were a lot of people who didn't get it and were confused by it. The comments given by everyone are meant to help, nobody is trying to cut you down. So for you to lash out at Dreamscale or anyone else is unwarranted, and is a sure way to make sure you don't receive any feedback in the future. Just keep in mind that people are giving up their time when they comment on your work.
David, you're quite the wordsmith, aren't you. First you throw out "abecedarian", and now you grace us with "subtext". Wow, I for one am really impressed with you. You should be impressed with yourself as well. But that's obvious, already, isn't it?
Dude, let's go back to your original little post directed at me (without using my name). Can you use some even bigger words and explain what that post was all about, or supposed to mean? Or do you have trouble writing in a way that people have a fucking clue what you're talking about?
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