Definitely a romantic drama, a little light on comedy, but I enjoyed it a lot, & mainly because it was ‘out of the norm’ and required a little more ‘thought’ on behalf of the reader.  

A couple of things I could quibble about. I think the ‘waiter the ‘homeless man’(comic relief) and ‘Angela’ took up a bit too much space but on the flip side they also added colour to the script. And seeing as this was the OWC I got the feeling this may have been edited more later.

A query re page 8. I’m just wondering if in the line of description, it should have read ‘Tate pulls the card out etc’ not ‘Cliff’.  I could be wrong but I think this is where Tate gets his inspiration, is it not?

Some have been confused by this one. I think an easy solve would be that Cliff and Robin feature more prominently at the ‘top’ – even just one scene would serve as the ideal precursor to the ending which imo you nailed in terms of ‘romance’.

Great dialogue throughout btw.

At one point I was wondering how the heck the lyrics were  going to come into play. And then you surprised me by neatly fitting all the pieces of the puzzle together.

I enjoyed this very much Dave.

David,

Well, this script - subtext or not - fell a little short for me. It is logical enough, but just not very enlightening, or entertaining.

Tim summed up some of the main problems, and that was the inconsistencies with ad development, and why Tate insisted Cliff got back with whatshername.

Anyway, the best part here is that the script opened up well. Punchy descriptions, and you did setup the pressure of why Tate feels compelled to push the boat out for his boss.

Andrew