Quoted from Scar Tissue Films If you are going to tread down a well worn path, you have to find someway to deviate and take the story in an unexpected direction. That never happened here. It was a worthy effort, but it kind of is what it is. There is really enough scope for it to develop into something more powerful.

Intelligent words here.

We always need to work on stretching the scope and as I often think of it, 'putting on the fresh spin'. Even as I say this though, I think I'm wrong because what's old to one is new and fresh to another.

Sandra

This one was pretty funny, much more of a comedy I thought, and it's very un romantic...lol, so I don't know if it really met the challenge, but I did think the song was funny and so was most of the script, even though April and Jamie are both unlikable people, I think it would have been funnier if they ended back up together cuz no one else could stand them.   Good effort for a tough challenge.

oof, Don't know what you were going for here, but i don't see it as a serious entry for the OWC..

no comedy or romance. The song was more a joke than the theme of the story. Then again, not really sure what the theme was,,

I don't mind the foul language, I'm quite the fucking fan of it, but you didn't really tell a story either..

Definitely needs some more work...

James

Okay, I thought this was funny, but like others have said it could have been better.
I know, I know. You only had one week, me too, and now that the OWC is over, there is time to do a rewrite .
Like michel said, I would like to see a happy ending... or an attempt at a happy ending, then twisted back at the two of them breaking up. ???

Let me know if you do a rewrite. I would love to read it.

I enjoyed the comedy,  thought it was funny he made a break-up song at a studio.
Cindy

Well, at least some people liked this. Honestly, I think I should’ve followed my better instincts and not submitted this. I wrote it two days before the OWC deadline having only found out the genre and theme the day before. I wasn’t about to pass up trying for the deadline but after reading the final product, I should’ve reconsidered submitting it. I had envisioned this as being a parody of what is typically a common romantic gesture (exchanging mix CDs) but I neglected to give it the time and thought needed for it to turn out that way so I ended up with a botched and completely unromantic result.

Consequently, I’ve gone back and added a new “make-up” scene which completely turns the script on it’s head (and still keeps under 12 pages). I usually don’t like to revise OWC scripts so people can see the original attempt but I think the scripts 100 times better now. Definitely feels like I’ve filled in the blanks.

Wow, can't imagine these two getting back together. If you wrote a rervision though, I'll read it....  As far as our better insincts... I think we all feel that way. twas an enormous challenge for one week...  or coupla days, hours... Takes kahunas to submit though. Tip of the hat for all who did... Was me first crack at one.

Rewrite is up. Thanks for posting so quickly, Don.

Anyway, added an entire new scene that essentially serves as the second half to the "story" as the original draft was pretty much incomplete. It's still sorta minimalistic but it's still waaay better than before. At the very least, it shows two sides to the whole mix CD phenomenon. Anyway, if anyone'd care to give it another read, I'd really appreciate it. If it still sucks this time, I'll take your word for it haha.