Quoted from Blakkwolfe And, finally, 40 is the new 30, and 30 is the new 20...so can a 45 year old woman still be smokin' hot? Hell, yeah!

Thanks Blakkwolfe,

I'm 47 and I know that life and love are a lot more than what we think when we're twenty.

I've been lucky enough to have been together with someone special for (thinking) 31 years. That's a long time and I think I could answer some of the questions that CHRIS WHITE has regarding sex.

Sandra

I don't think this one had any comedy or romance, but I really liked it none the less.

I kept hoping that he would notice her...
and at the same time I was wondering why him?
Why did she want his attention so badly?
I get it that she was getting well, and having tests done, but it still didn't seem to sit well with me.

I was hoping that he would have pulled out an old photo of her at the end, but you had him pull out flowers... I was thinking that they had been first loves, and that he didn't notice who she was, but it didn't go there.

Still a nice story for the OWC  

Cindy

Quoted from CindyLKeller I don't think this one had any comedy or romance, but I really liked it none the less. I kept hoping that he would notice her... and at the same time I was wondering why him? Why did she want his attention so badly? I get it that she was getting well, and having tests done, but it still didn't seem to sit well with me. Still a nice story for the OWC   Cindy

I think she was drawn by a sexual energy that she was feeling.

This could be written into the script for the Actors and Tresses to work with.

I'm dying to find out who wrote this one.

Sandra

I think it was a female. I think it was Astrid.

Quoted from CindyLKeller I think it was a female. I think it was Astrid.

When I thought of the quality in this, I thought of some of the better writers here. I thought of George, I thought of you and Pia, but of course, I knew it wasn't Pia's because here writing has an interesting EDGE to it that you understand and can feel when reading her work.

I thought George at first because, maybe because I associated his brilliance with this script, and I think he's capable of the kind of mellow deep emptiness inside it. But then I realized, he hadn't entered.

I don't think Phil entered.

I had thought of you, Cindy, because I remember your script "Garbage" and the beautiful simplicity of it. And also you're emotional vibrations are very strong.

I feel like a kid waiting for Christmas and that's only fitting, because I really do believe in Santa Clause.

Sandra

I want to encourage the writer of this piece.

There were two scripts that resonated with me, besides my own, silly me.

BROADWAY BETTY

I didn't care about any lack of comedy. I quoted the lines that were real to Don.

I love your script.

You did a magnificent job and deserve full credit for you work!

AUTUMN WALK

Other people might not get this, but I certainly do.

I thought this was brilliant and it sits with me, now. As if it were part of me.

A really strong piece of work!!!

Sandra

Okay, "Autumn Walk" is mine. Thanks everyone who reviewed it, especially the few who actually liked it.

Couple of points: This is my first One Week Challenge I've entered, and I left it too late. I did the lyrics on Wednesday, thought about things on Thursday, and wrote the script in a burst of energy on Friday. It definitely needed a couple of rewrites, but I didn't have time.

As I understood the rules, it could be a romantic comedy, a romantic drama, or a romantic comedy-drama. I went for the drama without the comedy. And I didn't realize the lyrics should be integrated into the script. I thought they had to be separate but on the same theme.

So I played the music over and over, and a picture came into my head of a man walking next to a river on a winter day. (It helped that it was cold and rainy outside at the time.) Why is he walking alone in a romantic script? Obviously something went wrong and the romance fizzled out. So I had my theme -- a romantic opportunity lost, and I wrote the lyrics to suit. (Incidentally, the (I) and (I'm) are not numerals but words said very briefly.)

For the body of my script I tried to do something different. Most romances are pretty talky affairs, except of course for the obligatory dash to the airport, but I thought, "Is it possible to tell a romantic story without any dialog at all? They are always saying, 'Show, Don't Tell.' Can that be done in a romantic movie?"

What I had in mind was something like a chessboard. An experienced player can take one glance at the board and he knows pretty accurately who's winning and who's losing, the attacking and defensive strategies, etc. In my script the woman indicates her interest by arriving earlier at the park, wearing brighter and more revealing clothing, and moving physically closer to the man using football with the child as an excuse. The man similarly would indicate by breaking his pattern that he was also interested. The idea was, you could look at just one frame in the movie and you'd know at what stage of the relationship you were in.

It didn't work as well as I'd hoped. The changes were too gradual and repetitive as several people pointed out. I should have compressed it into one or two fewer days, and also put a note onscreen "Day 1," "Day 2," etc. I thought it would be more obvious.

As to the characters, well, I am an older guy, uncommunicative and set in his ways, so that's Marshall. He's one of those guys who needs an atom bomb up his backside before he'll make a move. I hope that's understood. I needed an excuse for a single woman of a certain age to be in the park, so I made the woman a convalescent taking the sun. It also gave me a ticking clock. When she gets better she disappears; so Marshall can't take his time. I definitely should have motivated her interest in Marshall more, and made clear he was single. I needed a football for her to kick, hence the child, and of course the child needed a mother, hence the last two characters. They are far too generic. They could have added a lot of life to the script, but again, not enough time to work on them.

Despite the faults, I'm pleased with the way it turned out. I was trying to achieve something, and I did. It wasn't perfect, but it was a great learning experience.

Quoted from martin_b Okay, "Autumn Walk" is mine. Thanks everyone who reviewed it, especially the few who actually liked it. Couple of points: This is my first One Week Challenge I've entered, and I left it too late. I did the lyrics on Wednesday, thought about things on Thursday, and wrote the script in a burst of energy on Friday. It definitely needed a couple of rewrites, but I didn't have time. As I understood the rules, it could be a romantic comedy, a romantic drama, or a romantic comedy-drama. I went for the drama without the comedy. And I didn't realize the lyrics should be integrated into the script. I thought they had to be separate but on the same theme. So I played the music over and over, and a picture came into my head of a man walking next to a river on a winter day. (It helped that it was cold and rainy outside at the time.) Why is he walking alone in a romantic script? Obviously something went wrong and the romance fizzled out. So I had my theme -- a romantic opportunity lost, and I wrote the lyrics to suit. (Incidentally, the (I) and (I'm) are not numerals but words said very briefly.) For the body of my script I tried to do something different. Most romances are pretty talky affairs, except of course for the obligatory dash to the airport, but I thought, "Is it possible to tell a romantic story without any dialog at all? They are always saying, 'Show, Don't Tell.' Can that be done in a romantic movie?" What I had in mind was something like a chessboard. An experienced player can take one glance at the board and he knows pretty accurately who's winning and who's losing, the attacking and defensive strategies, etc. In my script the woman indicates her interest by arriving earlier at the park, wearing brighter and more revealing clothing, and moving physically closer to the man using football with the child as an excuse. The man similarly would indicate by breaking his pattern that he was also interested. The idea was, you could look at just one frame in the movie and you'd know at what stage of the relationship you were in. It didn't work as well as I'd hoped. The changes were too gradual and repetitive as several people pointed out. I should have compressed it into one or two fewer days, and also put a note onscreen "Day 1," "Day 2," etc. I thought it would be more obvious. As to the characters, well, I am an older guy, uncommunicative and set in his ways, so that's Marshall. He's one of those guys who needs an atom bomb up his backside before he'll make a move. I hope that's understood. I needed an excuse for a single woman of a certain age to be in the park, so I made the woman a convalescent taking the sun. It also gave me a ticking clock. When she gets better she disappears; so Marshall can't take his time. I definitely should have motivated her interest in Marshall more, and made clear he was single. I needed a football for her to kick, hence the child, and of course the child needed a mother, hence the last two characters. They are far too generic. They could have added a lot of life to the script, but again, not enough time to work on them. Despite the faults, I'm pleased with the way it turned out. I was trying to achieve something, and I did. It wasn't perfect, but it was a great learning experience.

Well Martin,

Either I am completely blind, or you are extremely humble.

I ranked Autumn Walk as one of my top three for many different reasons.

You darn well should continue writing because you have something very special inside.

Sandra

Quoted from martin_b It didn't work as well as I'd hoped. The changes were too gradual and repetitive as several people pointed out. I should have compressed it into one or two fewer days, and also put a note onscreen "Day 1," "Day 2," etc. I thought it would be more obvious.

I agree with that i did think too little happened in those first few days. Their were good opportunities to drop us some hints there. Obviously the biggest one being "Why was she following him so much??? IMO. I think we needed a reason for it to add to her character. Otherwise, she kinda comes off as a stalker. At least to me...

Quoted from martin_b As to the characters, well, I am an older guy, uncommunicative and set in his ways, so that's Marshall. He's one of those guys who needs an atom bomb up his backside before he'll make a move. I hope that's understood. I needed an excuse for a single woman of a certain age to be in the park, so I made the woman a convalescent taking the sun. It also gave me a ticking clock. When she gets better she disappears; so Marshall can't take his time. I definitely should have motivated her interest in Marshall more, and made clear he was single. I needed a football for her to kick, hence the child, and of course the child needed a mother, hence the last two characters. They are far too generic. They could have added a lot of life to the script, but again, not enough time to work on them.

See, the thing I didn't like about it is that i was intrigued in the beginning. I started coming up with my own guesses. I thought she was a cancer patient with little hope so she stopped taking the Chemo. Which will make you better for awhile, then eventually you will die. She stopped to have one last chance at love... And it was for this man and i was looking forward to you telling us why. Who was he to her?

Then when he shows up a day too late with flowers... I definitely think that scene could go better between him and mom...  She did come off rude to me. He didn't do anything IMO to warrant it. Would have liked to see her sadly tell him that she came everyday hoping he would notice. and that she doesn't know if she's ever coming back.

The "You had every chance... Deal with it"... seemed to come out of nowhere from her.

Anyways, I was one of the ones who didn't like it, but I definitely feel it has potential. Hope these comments are more constructive..


James

Quoted from jwent6688 I agree with that i did think too little happened in those first few days. Their were good opportunities to drop us some hints there. Obviously the biggest one being "Why was she following him so much??? IMO. I think we needed a reason for it to add to her character. Otherwise, she kinda comes off as a stalker. At least to me... See, the thing I didn't like about it is that i was intrigued in the beginning. I started coming up with my own guesses. I thought she was a cancer patient with little hope so she stopped taking the Chemo. Which will make you better for awhile, then eventually you will die. She stopped to have one last chance at love... And it was for this man and i was looking forward to you telling us why. Who was he to her? Then when he shows up a day too late with flowers... I definitely think that scene could go better between him and mom...  She did come off rude to me. He didn't do anything IMO to warrant it. Would have liked to see her sadly tell him that she came everyday hoping he would notice. and that she doesn't know if she's ever coming back. The "You had every chance... Deal with it"... seemed to come out of nowhere from her. Anyways, I was one of the ones who didn't like it, but I definitely feel it has potential. Hope these comments are more constructive.. James

The comments here are interesting because what "happened" may entirely be interpreted differently.

How?

Of course, entirely as

Point of View

The fact that you saw a problem with the initiating of character--

and I think we need to discover what this Is--

This fact is

Impermeable

And we need to come again

Sandra El.