Col, Thanks for your well-thought-out comments. You are one of those who read my script carefully, and it shows. Much appreciated. Several others also offered astute comments. I want to address a few points/questions in a day or two.
Henry

Riveting. Good color and heart-pounding.
No one's going to forget that creepy Raggedy-Ann mask.
Well done.

Just saw story/photo on Facebook about how the "Annabelle" horror movie is based on a true story involving a woman and her haunted Raggedy Ann doll.
The story apparently isn't anything like "Conversion," but the picture of the woman holding Raggedy Ann creeped me out.
A further word on my story.
I had the idea (Linda's repressed memories of the mother, father, outhouse) but decided not to enter because (1) I hadn't come up with a way to tell the story, and (2) the outhouse ending scared me.
The story framework came to me mid-week, though, so I wrote it.

P.S. I do plan to revise it some when I get a chance. Again, thanks to those made suggestions.

Jan. 10, 2015

I've streamlined it, clarified this and that, tried to improve slugs. Some of the changes are based on the comments I received. Thanks to all.

Naturally, reading through after posting, I spotted a dropped word and a typo or two.

Doesn't seem like you've changed much about the story or the dialogue. It appears to be relatively the same as when I read it during the OWC. I did notice the changes in the ending scene and thought they were a great addition.

I think the biggest focus of this draft were changes to the writing itself? Noticed some great descriptions I don't recall from earlier.

An image flickers like a candle flame, goes out, flickers
again. Slowly it resolves into...drooping jowls, flaked
lips, crowded bottom teeth. -- for example.

I like the new touches, but thought that the script didn't really need refinement writing-wise from what I read during the OWC.

This line stood out negatively:

Quoted Text LINDA STOVER (62) steps to the sidewalk. She appears ten years older, but her movements seem childlike.

I considered that older could be a typo of old, but even then it's a very confusing line. Appears 10-year-old and childlike? Appear how? How do they differ? Do they differ?

Very good work IMO.

Only thing that popped into my mind was perhaps it would be worth entertaining the opportunity of having Linda speak now that the OWC parameters aren't containing the script. Would be a fascinating character to explore through dialogue imo and could add a lot to the script in overall.

Thanks for the reread, DS.  Most changes involved trying to sharpen things up.

The line you cited as confusing was supposed to convey the idea that Linda looks ten years older than 62. I've already fixed it on my draft. Thanks.

Slugs are much, much better, Henry.

Instead of THERAPIST'S OFFICE, I'd use Dr. TINSLEY'S OFFICE, and I'd probably use something a little different than NEIGHBORHOOD, but no big deal at all.

Everything makes sense and is now very easy to follow.

Your rewrite is so much better than the original!  Nice work.

Jeff, Thanks for your help. Glad the slugs are better and that it all makes more sense. Henry