Terrific irony. Wasn't lost on me that it takes a mute girl to save humanity.
Appreciated that it wasn't over-the-top blood and guts horror, especially for someone that isn't crazy about the genre.

Entertaining. Might tighten a little just to speed up the read.

Humanity Speaks

Hello,

To show mute people was a good opportunity you realized succesfully.

I'm not so sure about this story. Some aspects read jumbled to me. The tale of the little girl facing evil and representing humanity was interesting on the other side.

Anyhow it's too unfocused, still a decent story imo.

Oh boy...

Sorry to say this, but the writing just is not good.  Vrey cumbersome, filled with unnecessary details.  Characters are not properly intro'd.  Dialogue sounbs very cheesy.

Interesting use of "notes" and writing for communication, and IMO, it's acceptable.

But the story is not for me in any way.  I'm out on Page 4.

*spoilers*

For being so overwritten, this is surprisingly clear. Is this the only entry that used sign language? Remembering when the OWC was announced, I was bracing for a bunch of scripts with sign language. The premise is really good. I like the idea of humanity's fate resting on a mute girl.

This needs better execution in the latter half of the story. It could be very promising, but the way this played out was not good. The resolve comes from a protagonist's weakness, which in her eyes she believes is her inability to speak. Big time disappointed with this ending. Recommend you take this to the writers room and give it another go.

You've got something here.

Bordering on meeting the criteria and not...

And this is not really a horror.

Good little lighthearted story though. Though, the ending isn't really strong enough. She manages to convince a jury of angry demons that Earth is all good because of one movie review? Even with a courtroom in hell, that is the most unbelievable part..

Not bad though. Needs some work and I'm not sure if it meets the required criteria!

I give this writer an A for creativity.  A fun premise (though I'm sure I've seen it done in other forms somewhere before.)  The writing was okay - not poetic, but that's understandable for an OWC.  I *do* think that having the grandmother and the little girl communicate via writing was a violation of the OWC rules.  If not explicitly, then at least in spirit.  And I can't believe that a jury of demons would be swayed to spare the human race due to movies.  Maybe if it was due to the imagination in them - a skill that perhaps no other sapient species possesses - but to hold up movies as proof as humanity's goodness?  Er, no.  Especially if they happened to catch the latest torture porn flick on display..  

That said, this was a sweet entry.  Kudos to the writer.

--J

SPOILERS

Very successful OWC.  Anna is a complex, believable character.  The courtroom scene is mercifully brief.  
Anna and her grandmother are fine examples of humans.  Good job!

16.  Humanity Speaks by Habeus Corpus - The human race is being put on trial, and the only person who can save mankind is a mute girl.

Alright, I’m not “really” reading your screenplay, I’m going to “watch” this short horror-fantasy film and just make comments as I “watch.”

With a title like ‘Humanity Speaks’ I’m flinching at the prospect of an on-the-nose morality tale.
That’s the most astute cat ever for noticing a change in the paver stones.
Engaging opening scene. Good…
Re Grandma Graham signing at table: AKA Grandma signing - period. IDK WTH she’s saying to the little kid.
Re “Please don’t treat me like a weirdo”: that ship done left.
Creepy homeless bald man scene.
Oh, wow. That was a creepy pull down to the “Mysterious Courtroom.” Very nice!
Nice demon jury…
Demon environmentalists - Ha! Love it.
Wow. Anna’s a brave 12yo to consider accepting the challenge of defending all of humanity. Stupid kid.
Weird prosecution and defense, like a child’s interpretation of a kangaroo court system.
Done.
Meh… eh… eh… I can see where this OWC’s constraints really hamstring the story you likely could have written using this same “Encounter at Farpoint” construct.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Encounter_at_Farpoint

Suggested construct alternatives:
- None, really. I think for what you’re starting with you’ve done about as much as you can. Release the OWC constraints and I believe a better story will emerge.