When I saw this was going to be a found footage, it seemed like a clever spin on this challenge.  But the script just failed to deliver.  FF is tricky to write without getting confusing.  Unfortunately, the description had a certain lack of clarity that made me go back and reread several parts of this.

Odd choice to go with a loup garou.  But, once you chose the werewolf, you should have stuck with it.  Instead, the script meandered off into other directions with the talk of "demons of the wind."

"Joe rushes up to the washing machine, his hand dives in."

That was awkwardly phrased.

Overall, this script suffered from what I fear will drag down the majority of these scripts:  the expository dialogue to explain the supernatural backstory of the characters.  That was the toughest part of this challenge, IMO.  A whole lot of people saying, "This is what happened..."

Anyway, I liked the FF concept here, but this one felt undercooked.

Pg 1:  
Ellen's intro should be all caps.
“A door swooshes back and forth.”  I assume it's the same door, so it would be “The door...”
Some wouldn't like you not using complete sentences in the description, as in the rest of this paragraph.  I like it.  I know most don't, but I think it adds something to the description.  If it doesn't and is used too much, it would drive me nuts.
Make sure you make it clear if we went back to the handheld camera.  I read by this the first time.

Pg 2:
Again, make it clear when we are with the handheld or another camera.  It felt like we saw Krys stand up from another view.  If she was holding the camera when she got up, describe what we see in HER camera not that we see her.  Maybe I'm just picky.

Pg 7:
When Krys put the camera down to remove her necklace, did she pick it back up again?  Are we looking through her camera again?  Not sure.

Pg 8:
Who did Ted just make out with?  His wife or Joe's?  Why did he even do that?  I'm confused.

Pg 9:
Ok, now that Ted just kissed and felt up Ellen, I guess that answers my questions above.

Figured they were the werewolves, but you did a good job with the story for the short amount of space.  Since you brought the fact that this was through a handheld camera, I figured most of it should have been seen through it.    Like I said in my notes, sometimes I wasn't sure if I was looking through Krys camera or from another camera angle.  You should make that more clear and it would have helped.  The dialogue was okay.  You put together a story in a short amount of time which is good in my book.  Not sure if this story meets all of the requirements.  You'll like this if you like werewolves, making out, feeling each other up and geyser-shooting blood, etc.   Not sure if it worked for me though.

Ok, we've reached the point when each review starts to get repetitive, sorry for that.

Keeping it brief

I liked the claustrophobic setting, differently sets of theories etc - cant go outside, so have to work it out together

But, I was lost constantly through out.

Got potential, needs a post OWC revision, as do most, including mine!

I think this was a great idea for this OWC but needs to be reworked.  There is too much talking, not enough action.  And there needs to be tension and conflict.  I didn't feel that.  Because of too much dialog the pacing was off and it really dragged.  But I reall do think it was a good idea but very difficult to polish in just a week.  

I liked parts of this. Nice idea. The hurricane was used in this more than others I've read so far.

In the end though I was still a bit confused with things that didn't make sense, ie: Everyone seemed scared, trying to figure out each other then - lets make out.

Good effort though, can see a story here.

Not a fan of this one. Except for the feeling up, this reads like it's a bunch of school kids playing make-believe, an exercise in the imagination with nothing to support it, at least until the very end when the cheesy '80s B-movie horror stuff happens. Bad dialogue, nothing really happens, and a terrible ending that's more confusing than in any way satisfying.

Good for you for at least entering and writing to the challenge restrictions, full marks for that.

I liked the found footage idea but have to agree with everyone else in that the story was a tad confusing. It's possible you were pressed for time and had to rush the story. Still a good job in a weeks time and congrats on the OWC.

Way too much dialogue.  I know you were probably going for an authentic conversation - but you have to remember that dialogue is not the same as a real conversation.   Condense the dialogue for starters.  

I also think you should concentrate on the tension and try to bring that much earlier.  Maybe starting with the rat attack in the dryer.

Good on ya for getting something together for this OWC.

I liked the title.

Unfortunately, that's about all I liked for this one.  I was way too confused from the onset.  I had no idea who was breaking in, why they were, who was already there.  I was lost by page 2.

The dialogue felt forced and was over-bearing.

I think this script being Found Footage is the main reason I didn't like it.  I don't like Found Footage, I've never seen a good Found Footage movie, (and I have seen a good amount), Found Footage is almost impossible to do and sound natural.  To be honest, from the get-go, almost all found footage movies are too implausable, and I lose my imagination fast with them.  I think that's why this story ultimately didn't do anything for me.

- Mark

You started it with an ff narration, but soon dropped the guy behind the camera, either that or I didnt get a strong sense of someone behind the camera past page 2.

You talk about werewolves a lot, so I know that sooner or later they are going to appear. Howerver the conversation dragged it was really about nothing for several pages. The werewolf talk got repetitive.

I think ou ould introduce the danger ( real thing not just talk) earlier and provide the twist at the end maybe. And I'd cut on dialog.

Isidro by - A documentary crew and a couple find shelter in a laundry room of an abandoned motel during a hurricane. But is a werewolf after them? Or is it something else?
Brief - Two parties trapped in a motel laundry room discover there’s a werewolf among them.

Locations & Sets  -  Exterior, motel @ day, Exterior, dirty pool @ day. Interior, motel laundry @ night
Actors  -  TED (30s), Ellen (late 20s), KRYS (20s), JOE (20s)
Costumes  - wolf mask + werewolf paws
Props  -  Still shots converted to photographs, dead snake, cracked glass, camera, ruined linens, dead mice, cobwebs, laundry debris, key chain flashlight, bible, black nail polish, bright UV light, revolver + silver bullets, liquid stage blood, dead rat, silver crucifix, severed hand
Audio FX  -  narrator V.O., Static sounds, strong wind and rain sounds, blunt slam into door, door swoosh, shoulder whack, door slam shut, audio bleep, rat squeaks, wood floor squeaks, wind howl, door bam, Rat acappella from hell cries from all four corners of the room, deep growl
Visual FX  -  map graphic
Other  - flood light, blood geyser effect
Genre & Marketability - horror comedy
Comments  - Intro ELLEN in all caps. By pg4 I have no idea WTH is going on. Good use of sounds. I think this is supposed to be funny. Not hitting the humor outta the park, but premise could be good if well executed with the right improv group. Nice use of essentially a single location. The intro scene might be worth the hassle. Might. Nothing critical about it and subject to a million equally effective variables. Relatively cost effective, too. Probably shorten the play time, though. I don’t think this took into consideration of the contest’s given criteria worth a d@mn, but it’s nice, just the same. Script format: fine. Final word: cost effective and potentially funny premise, both good for a horror short

$500 - $1,000  Lo/Hi Estimated Budget Range
/ 9.5 Screenplay Pages
= $53 - $105  Estimated Cost Per Screen Minute

Adherence to Given Criteria:
Odd but interesting character(s) - nope
take refuge from a hurricane - sorta?
in a beat-up motel - eh...
and are forced to make a choice - none that I could discern
between good or evil - pfft. beats me. IDK WTH was going on
in order to survive the night. - probably not. maybe
Each character must -
have some history involving a supernatural event in their lives - maybe
that factors into their choice. - maybe
Genre is open. - horror comedy
This is a micro-budget short, - yep
so no destruction of the motel, - yep
no children or animals - yep
and minimal special effects. - yep
BONUS! Story also included:
mime(s) - nope
dinosaur(s) - nope

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1WBdeA3ZfngPz7NfJg_5DSBUFsZXkicfyNQHRc8Bg2SQ/edit

Okay, sorry to say but I legit understood nothing here. Incredibly confusing, probably because of the found footage format.

The dialogue was very on and off, some made sense while other was confusing as hell.

Story wise, I didn't understand much. Werewolves and Demons chasing people in a storm? I didn't really get a lot here, if I did, I think I would've rated it higher.

My grade: E-.

before i begin, i have a bit of a confession. i HATE found footage films. they rarely intrigue me. i fell asleep during paranormal activity (and i was in a movie theater).

but i digress.

i just say that to say i'm a bit biased from the get go. needless to say, wasn't a huge fan. but it wasn't the FF element that bothered me the most. no, what really irked me was the demon element. i like the idea that you combined werewolves and FF. that's actually fairly new. combine that with the storm, and you've reached your max for 6 pages. but then you throw in demons and now everything's gone to s hit. it's just too much.

then again, maybe I'm just confused. writing from a FF angle is tough. so difficult, in fact, that i would never do it. so kudos for that. and kudos for doing something different.

i admire your effort and for that i say nice work with the OWC. would highly recommend that you focus your story during the rewrite.