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Here is the 'master list' of the OWC entries. There were a total of 36 entries. I'll be posting them over the next two days.
Enjoy~
The Ledger by Rene Claveau (renec) - Short - When travelers take refuge from a hurricane, they learn not all shelters are safe havens. - pdf, format
Sacred Acceptance by Renee Joynson (bflywings) - Short - {no logline} - pdf, format
Lost in the Storm by Janet Clark (wonkavite) - Short - Brought together by a missing children's convention, three strangers bond over shared grief and loss. But when a storm traps them in their hotel for the night, one of them finds their ordeal far from over. - pdf, format
Into The Eye by Bill Sarre (reef dreamer) - Short, drak comedy - When two storm chasers are forced by a hurricane to take refuge in an abandoned motel, they soon discover the locals are more challenging than the weather. - pdf, format
Super Inn by Khamanna Isdandarova (khamanna) - Short - A young woman must rekindle her supernatural powers to save her sister's life - pdf, format
Isidro by Darren James Seeley (darrenjamesseeley) - Short - A documentary crew and a couple find shelter in a laundry room of an abandoned motel during a hurricane. But is a werewolf after them? Or is it something else? - pdf, format
Procella by Gage Eggleston (asteroidjuice) - Short - The tempest is here, its wrath is universally damning. Its origins are dark and mysterious. Can it be stopped? - pdf, format
Double or Nothing by Clabe R. Polk (trapper) - Short - {no logline} - pdf, format
ExtraTERRORestrial by Dena McKinnon (paleyellow) - Short - As a hurricane rages, an alien bent on revenge must fight two other enemy space travellers, who have chosen an abandoned motel on Earth as their battleground. - pdf, format
Corpus Christi by Mark Lyons (rc1107) - Short - A homeless man and his mother beg the owner of a lonely motel for shelter from an approaching storm. - pdf, format
Left or Right by Alex Sarris (alex_212) - Short - An eccentric lawyer takes refuge from a hurricane in an unusual beat-up hotel. His perception of good and evil is distorted, as everything is not as it seems. - pdf, format
House by Steve Cadieux - Short - needed refuge from the weather, she find a place, make a unexpected acquainted character, ho hide a dark mystery. - pdf, format
The Final Trip by Thomas Pascal (Tommyp) - Short - A hurricane turns what could have been the ultimate road trip for two best friends into a real-life nightmare. The culprit? A cup of hot, steamy tea... - pdf, format
Deliver Us From Evil by L. Chambers - Short - A man's faith is tested as he attempts to evade an unknown assailant. - pdf, format
Damages by Kayla Minchew - Short - When a priest chooses an old motel as sanctuary from a hurricane, he must protect his entrusted companion from an unstable resident, the violent elements, and possibly, even himself. - pdf, format
Johnny by Dirk Visser (DV44) - Short - On the brink of insanity, Johnny makes a life altering decision. - pdf, format
One of God's Special Children by Jeff Bush (dreamscale) - Short - Hurricane Wilma battered the Florida Keys in October, 2005. On a lonely Key, a young woman must make a decision that could affect the entire world. - pdf, format
The Tool of Morality by Ray Whitter (RayW) - Short - An strange couple takes refuge one night from a hurricane in a run down motel where decisions about morality create a constant flow of choices between good or evil and the survival of humanity. - pdf, format
Jericho by Will Ball (albinopenguin) - Short - A priest and a harlot take refuge in a desolate motel. - pdf, format
When God owns a motel by Mark Moore (irish eyes) - Short - In the most unlikely of places, one man gets another shot of redemption. Which path will he choose? - pdf, format
Room 107 by Reginald Beltran (kingcooky555) - Short - Bank robbers make a pit stop to a remote hotel on their way to Mexico. - pdf, format
A Light In Room Twelve by James Williams (jwent668 - Short - A couple seek refuge in a motel during a hurricane, despite the inn keeper's warnings. - pdf, format
Darkness by Arsenij Voitko (vaultman) - Short - A murderer refuses to follow his supernatural master's orders and leaves his victim to live, only to find himself as the new victim. - pdf, format
Cowboy Sam by Leon Aria (leon) - Short - A supernatural being, a friend, an enemy, a deviant. Cowboy Sam - pdf, format
Room 3 by Dan Ball (danball) - Short - A couple having an affair spend the night in a secluded motel and become involved in the affairs of other guests who are battling their own demons and demons from beyond. - pdf, format
A Dark and Stormy Weekend by Will Campbell (crookedowl) - Short - At a writers’ retreat, four writers are trapped in their motel with a raging hurricane outside and a killer inside. But worst of all, they have writer’s block. - pdf, format
Skitzo by David M Troop (dtroop506) - Short - {no logline} - pdf, format
Blood Ties by Steve McDonell (stevie) - Short - As a hurricane bears down on the Texas coast, a man arrives at a remote motel, searching for his missing brother. He soon uncovers a horrible secret, which threatens to release an ancient, primal power. Horror, 8 pages - pdf, format
Bad Juju by marnie mitchell lister (marnieml) - Short - When a hurricane approaches, residents of a flood prone homeless shelter seek refuge at The Hilltop Motel, but some will soon find out the storm isn't their greatest danger. - pdf, format
Skiptrace by Sean Chipman (Mr. Blonde) - Short - When a bounty hunter takes shelter in a motel with a bail jumper, he finds out that maybe the bounty hunter was the one being sought. - pdf, format 8)
Those That Help Themselves by Mikos Zavros - Short - Two men and one woman on the way to their next music gig find a deserted motel and a free room in a hurricane. But is it luck that brought them here? - pdf, format 8)
Forgotten Faith by Steven Cooper - Short - A motel owner’s faith is put to the test. - pdf, format 8)
Ghosts of the Third Reich by Greg Baldwin (greg) - Short, Thriller - A nerdy ghost hunter must negotiate with a Nazi poltergeist in order to save his family or face a second Holocaust. - pdf, format 8)
Will the Real Demon Please Rise by Gary Kohatsu (Abe from LA) - Short - During a hurricane, a police officer responds to an incident at a motel, where among its inhabitants is a demon with a sexual appetite. - pdf, format 8)
Now Lie In It by Felipe Machado (cinemachado) - Short - A couple struggles with a tough choice after making a bad deal with the devil. - pdf, format 8)
I think 'Lost in the Storm' takes the logline award out of these 10 scripts posted. It attracted me right away and will definately be the next one I read.
On a sidenote, I like 'The Ledger' as best title so far. Just strikes a chord with me.
Not sure why, but I feel more relaxed about this oWC than before. Possibly, it's the tight criteria which I think many scripts will struggle with. I hope that readers cut the scripts some slack, not too much, when reviewing. After all, most have been written in a couple of days. Compared to the Movie Poet competitions, that's a lot more to do in a short period of time.
The Elevator Most Belonging To Alice - Semi Final Bluecat, Runner Up Nashville Inner Journey - Page Awards Finalist - Bluecat semi final Grieving Spell - winner - London Film Awards. Third - Honolulu Ultimate Weapon - Fresh Voices - second place IMDb link... http://www.imdb.com/name/nm7062725/?ref_=tt_ov_wr
I wrote a script, had ten minutes to submit it, then got cold feet and aborted. I wish I would've submitted now. Did anybody go through something like this? I actually feel like I need a specialized Twelve Step group to process my emotions.
Might start a Screenwriter's Anonymous meeting on another thread. ;(
I wrote a script, had ten minutes to submit it, then got cold feet and aborted.
I wasn't going to participate but the urge overtook me and I started writing mine with just over 3 hours to go... I finished with about 10 minutes left and hated it but I thought what the hell... it's all a bit of fun and a great experience.
I literally had no time to think up a logline. I don't think it matters, if you gave me another 7 days to write a logline, it would suck. I'm terrible at loglines.
I brainstormed mine for days, thought I had a decent idea then when I started writing it, it fell apart. In my head it worked but on paper it was difficult to fit in all the criteria in just 12 pages without it sounding completely goofy.
I spent a couple of hours planning my screenplay the first day, then spent a few hours writing and checking it the second day. A 2 day script for me as I had a busy week with other commitments.
EDIT: I just figured out my dilemma. I took such a thrashing from Jwent at the last screenwriter's showdown that I'm actually second guessing my writing skills now. I'm really gonna have to get over it and get back up on the horse.
Michael, you disappoint me. I know you have way more skills than I do and I didn't hesitate about entering once (based on my awful script. More about not being able to incorporate everything).
But, that's okay. There will always be more OWCs. =)
Michael, you disappoint me. I know you have way more skills than I do and I didn't hesitate about entering once (based on my awful script. More about not being able to incorporate everything).
But, that's okay. There will always be more OWCs. =)
Who for? You or the readers? Was it that good? Just post it next week in the shorts section and call it "second guessing my writing skills script" Then let us all tear you a new one and make you feel more confident.
Funny that you guys are talking about the log lines. I never read those. I will attempt to read most of them, but if I come across one that I find really really bad right off the bat, I will not finish it.
With lots of entries and quick-growing threads, it is difficult for moderator eyes to be everywhere.
If you spot a questionable review that goes too far -- or other trouble brewing -- please drop me a PM. You can copy Don, but he is probably too busy with the actual mechanics of the challenge itself.
Also, if somebody has already posted that a script will not open for whatever reason, there is no need for 5 more "me too" posts. It is just clutter on the thread.
That's me. I think everyone doubts their skills at some point. I'm sure, after reading some of these entries, you're kicking yourself for not entering. Kick yourself one time for me.
Who for? You or the readers? Was it that good? Just post it next week in the shorts section and call it "second guessing my writing skills script" Then let us all tear you a new one and make you feel more confident.
That's me. I think everyone doubts their skills at some point. I'm sure, after reading some of these entries, you're kicking yourself for not entering. Kick yourself one time for me.
James
Ha!
An excerpt from my script;
Code
All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy,
all work and no play makes Jack a dull boy,
all work and no play makes Jack a dull boy,
all work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.
all work and no play makes Jack a dull boy,
all work and no play makes Jack a dull boy,
all work and no play makes Jack a dull boy,
all work and no play makes Jack a dull boy...
I had an idea going all week then at 4pm Pacific yesterday, I decided I wanted to do something else. Sorry to say I was still writing at around 8:45 (11:45 EST) so I will probably cringe when I look at it again. Please rip it apart... (as if I had to ask)
'Artist' is not a term you should use to refer to yourself. Let others, and your work, do it for you.
Only one F. Trouble is, none have blown my hair back yet. However, there's still 27 left and I've barely gone a quarter of the way. Always hope and hell, I'm a realist. =)
I am complete for the night. Even if you put more up tonight, I can hardly see straight and am in no position to properly review anymore. Some good, some not-so good. However, none blew my hair back so I'm still waiting for that true standout. Overall, though, I'm pleased with the entries so far.
And, did anyone else notice that nearly every story had either a priest, alien or angel? I believe there were only two that didn't. Go figure. =)
I've avoided a few with all atrocious reviews. I know I will just be beating a dead horse. I'll open them and look and if I agree, I don't comment.
Is English your first language? You need to get some screen writing software...
To any noobs who may have entered, I never felt the OWC was a great place to start. Contributing members usually try to read most of the scripts and you won't get a detailed review. Just bashed.
Post a script individally and say "hey, I'm new to this" and the people here will be much more congenial.
Wow, that was quick... Read 'em all in about 2 minutes....
Wait. I'm supposed to read the actual scripts, too? (Just kidding. Taking my time this OWC - reading and reviewing 'em thoroughly, rather than rush through and miss details as I go...)
How long do the scripts stay anonymous? I'm reading as much as I can, but I've only gotten to a few because I'm so busy at the moment. I'd really like to review all of them before the big reveals.
How long do the scripts stay anonymous? I'm reading as much as I can, but I've only gotten to a few because I'm so busy at the moment. I'd really like to review all of them before the big reveals.
I believe it's a week to the day. So, next Friday, they're either revealed or that's when the voting starts. Can't recall.
Enjoying the OWC. First time participating in it, plus it's my first script ever posted. Get a little nervous every time a new review pops up on my script. Having fun either way though.
WE all are gonna get a lil beating! It's par for the course OWC time around here! But it's good...and we are all learning as thing and these wonderful reviewers kick us about
Jeff din't kick me too hard this time...and the pirate didn't even call me cliche' woohoo I'm stoked....I mean better than my first owc last year!
But still..it's amazing how you can get some really really good feedback and then the next feedback is totally the opposite! crazy I say.
Hell yes - learning heaps - as I said; thanks to all who comment, good and bad. I hope I haven't dealt anything too bad either.
I just thought it was funny with Jeff's comments on mine - I could literaly see someone sitting at their computer, banging their head on the keyboard, yelling ARGHHHHH!
Ah, time to get back into reading some more scripts. I like your grade method Blonde so I think I'll start doing that. I saw it a lot in the last October OWC.
WE all are gonna get a lil beating! It's par for the course OWC time around here! But it's good...and we are all learning as thing and these wonderful reviewers kick us about
I agree most of us are going to get a beating, the challenge was tough so it's not surprising to see a few confusing entries.
I actually think this OWC has been more fun than the only other previous one I was here for in February. It almost seems light-hearted if that's at all possible and some of the feedback and comments has been quite funny to read. I just hope the authors of any such work take it in the way it's meant and don't get to troubled or down-hearted by it.
It's only a little bit of fun and these were "first" drafts so a lot will be a lot better once they've gone through a re-write without the restrictions.
Quoted from Dreamscale
And I love your grades.
I like the grading system as well, Sean. Good stuff.
Agree with Steve here...all these need a cleaning up after the restrictions are lifted...and I can't wait to change mine around. But for a weeks time...and a few tight parameters..it's been a good time I think.
We need to be pushed to write out of our comfort zone IMO...and kudos to Don for putting this thing together even though I won't be seeing a coffee cup this go around!
WE all are gonna get a lil beating! It's par for the course OWC time around here! But it's good...and we are all learning as thing and these wonderful reviewers kick us about
Too true. In those immortal words, "It's déjŕ vu, all over again!"
Even if one person likes your script you can bet that the next will have issues.
The Elevator Most Belonging To Alice - Semi Final Bluecat, Runner Up Nashville Inner Journey - Page Awards Finalist - Bluecat semi final Grieving Spell - winner - London Film Awards. Third - Honolulu Ultimate Weapon - Fresh Voices - second place IMDb link... http://www.imdb.com/name/nm7062725/?ref_=tt_ov_wr
When I scroll through the comments in the script threads, I don't see 36 different people commenting. I see the same people most of the time and some of those I know for a fact did not enter themselves...
There's nothing you can do about it except keep reviewing. However, it's still early. It's only Monday, so I'm still willing to give people the benefit of the doubt. =)
I would like to nominate Cowboy Sam for 2 prestgious awards in which I highly doubt any other scrpts will be able to equal or better this beast.
First up is the...
BEST USE OF A 4 DOOR SALOON - THE 4 DOOR SALOON IN THE BEGINNING
And finally, the coveted...
BEST FATHER DAUGHTER RELATIONSHIP - JACK AND LIZ (KIDNAPPER AND KIDNAPPEE)
Congrats!!!
I remember from a previous owc that saloon is Brit slang for sedan. You really do learn stuff on these challenges.
Not sure about the father/daughter award, as I haven't read all the scripts yet. But, for most memorable/grotesque character I nominate Madam/Lady Putz, for your consideration.
I like Reef Dreamer's suggestions for some informal awards:
OCT 2012 - OWC - Informal awards.
These would be non offensive, light hearted BUT still seek to identify issues that we can learn from, errors, mistakes etc I don't envisage real voting just banter, posts etc within the thread, unless a mod wishes to do more, but that's not the intention of this.
My suggestions would be, and I welcome others and general discourse on the subject;
Worst LOGLINE - that's mine, nobody else is getting close
Funniest line - intended or unintended, such a big difference
Weirdest character - not writer!
Highest kill - in case of dispute extra wounded characters can be included in a count off. Lost limbs getting bonus points.
Script furthest away from the criteria - could be mine again, but a title with lots of competition I expect
Most amount os spelling mistakes - got to have one to keep us on our toes, yup mine again
The What? Award - for the what the hell have I just read title. Open to interpretation as to what this would mean.
The Jeff Bush Award for worst Slug line - just had to add that one
The most unlikely stranger/character that saves the day. Mask optional.
With supplement suggestions!
Mr. Blonde
The Worst Use of a Hurricane Award.
The Most/Least Interesting Character Award.
The Worst Motel Room Award.
The Worst Title Award.
The Worst Ending Award.
ReneC
The Wassup! Award - for the script with the most clichés, disputes settled by most clichés on a single page.
The IDGI - for the script least understood. (Yeah, I'd win this one.)
The Deus Ex Machina award - for the script with the lamest coincidence saving the day.
Jeff/Dreamscale: How about some positive awards?
Best written
Best story
Makes the most sense
Best use of the requirements
Hottest character
Best use of mimes and dinosaurs
Gage:
Least amount of dialogue? (this one will be coveted)
Most dialogue?
Most characters?
Most interesting characters?
The one where the storm was only in it because one of the requirements said there had to be a storm in it award?
Longest/most frequent sex scene(s)? (between mimes, of course)
It's been fun reading these. I get to see different styles - see what works and what doesn't. Mine was a rush three hour job and submitted on the day of the challenge, definitely needs work and probably could win some awards for "yeah, that's only in there because that's part of the contest stipulations."
Looks like religion / possession is the winner for favorite theme.
Gonna read the rest of them by the end of the week.
This challenge was, well, challenging. To be honest, I think the scripts show this as they struggle to tick all the boxes (re Ticks - Ray - don't even think about it).
I' m not surprised we have had a few mad priests with the good versus evil requirement, just shame there has been so many. Particularly if you read a better one towards the end.
I actually expected more voodoo and hurriances in New Orleans. In fact I decided not to go down that route because of my expectations. What do I know, hey?
It's fair to say that most have needed to push the criteria a bit, with a few miles off. I can accept some variation, don't mind a few typos/slugs off etc, what I want reflect on is a decent story, an original take and maybe a script I could see developed, as the one I would back. After all, they are written in such a short period. I don't think I am alone in saying that even an extra week would help me considerably tighten up and check for errors.
The Elevator Most Belonging To Alice - Semi Final Bluecat, Runner Up Nashville Inner Journey - Page Awards Finalist - Bluecat semi final Grieving Spell - winner - London Film Awards. Third - Honolulu Ultimate Weapon - Fresh Voices - second place IMDb link... http://www.imdb.com/name/nm7062725/?ref_=tt_ov_wr
After reading some of the scripts, I think there was some serious creative influence induced by some strong illegal substances. Awards should be given for typing, let alone finishing . . .
After reading some of the scripts, I think there was some serious creative influence induced by some strong illegal substances. Awards should be given for typing, let alone finishing . . .
just the other day I found out my Pumpkin flavored coffee was spiked...
I had to reread the requirements - okay, a priest isn't one of them . . . what's with all the priests and possessions ???
It is getting hard to tell some scripts apart, even some of the decent ones. But at least there's a few with run down motels with elegant ballrooms, Mimes and dinosaur maaks
Jager does fuel me, but in this case, my back went out on me again and I was in all weekend (after a wild Friday night, that is), so I read and commented...and then had a little Jagie after Opening Hour chimed.
All the scripts are starting to blend together for me. Can't match any stories, loglines, or titles anymore. Characters from old scripts start showing up in new ones. Why the hell is Spiderman exorcising a demon out of a pregnant black woman? Starting to wonder which one I wrote.
Too bad about the back. Hopefully you'll be up and moving soon. I bet some people wish you hurt your fingers instead. lol. I know you get a bad rap for the harsh comments but I think it's good that somebody tells it like it is. Imagine if the writer gave that script to an agent. They would laugh in their face. As long as the writer has thick skin and takes whatever advice you give them it's all good.
It's subjective in terms of story and style. Some like scripts that I call dog shit. Others don't like scripts I call well done.
In many ways, it comes down to what you know, what you don't, what you see, and what you don't see.
It amazes me when multiple readers say a script is well written, when I know damn well there's 20+ mistakes on each and every page of it. The thing is, those readers who said it was well written, don't realize what was even wrong with it.
I don't mean to hurt anyone's feelings and it doesn't make me fee like a big man putting writing down. I want to help and I want to enlighten, and I'm not going to sugarcoat my feelings.
There were some good entries here, some bad entries, and some run of the mill entries. IT was a tough challenge and anyone who stayed within the requirements and wrote a solid story, I say job well done.
Yeah I agree. I'm one of those people who has said great job on just about every script I've read and that's because I'm new to writing and really do not have a clue as to properly construct a script. My OWC script was my first so maybe as I read and write more scripts I will get a better understanding as to what I'm doing and in turn be able to give a better review to other people's scripts.
I wrote the one with the hurricane battering some old fucking beat up motel. I had at least 1 character and there weren't any cars or flying creatures. Does that help?
It's very possible 1 of my characters was a father, a daughter, or a cowboy.
Mine is the one that's in script format. It has a title, a plot, and characters. What really separates it from the pack, though, is that it has not only a beginning, but also a middle and even an end.
Jeff, I think for the first few batches you left somewhat nice comments but towards the later scripts, they became a little too serious . I didn't really understand your comment on mine but maybe my script is to blame for that.
We're giving clues to our scripts now? Coop didn't even read the first sentence and automatically knew it was mine so I probably shouldn't...
I'm trying to read the ones with least replies first so it might be a while until I get to the good ones.
I learned a number of years ago about that when a bunch of A-Holes tried to gang rape me, by telling their goonies to trash mine because they knew it was mine. One fucknut even erased his post completely from saying he liked it to saying he hated it.
There were very few that had their names on it this time.
Sorry again to anyone that I slammed. I didn't mean to hurt any feelings, just trying to keep it real.
All done! Great job to everybody. Some very good scripts, some ok and some that need a little help but either way nice all around. It was very cool to see the different writing styles from everyone. I enjoyed my first OWC and can't wait for the next one. - Dirk
Whilst there have been quite a few priest stories, the variety was decent. I think this was a hard challenge.
I didn't have a favourite from the first reads but am checking out a short list, see what I missed etc it will be interesting to see the writers revealled.
The Elevator Most Belonging To Alice - Semi Final Bluecat, Runner Up Nashville Inner Journey - Page Awards Finalist - Bluecat semi final Grieving Spell - winner - London Film Awards. Third - Honolulu Ultimate Weapon - Fresh Voices - second place IMDb link... http://www.imdb.com/name/nm7062725/?ref_=tt_ov_wr
I'm having a tough time deciding which one to vote for. None of them really wowed me, so my top contenders are all closely matched. I still have 6 or 7 left to read, hopefully one of them will stand out.
I just want to admit that while some of the critiques of my entry were rough and likely well-earned, I'm ready to come clean and own my awful submission. Should I give it away just yet or do you guys want to guess? I'm still new, so you'd probably have to guess for a few days.
"I remember a time of chaos. Ruined dreams. This wasted land. But most of all, I remember The Road Warrior. The man we called 'Max'."
I have about ten left to read. Probably won't be able to read any more after today until after the weekend. One of my daughters is getting married in VA. And, well, that's a tad more important.
I'm ready to come clean and own my awful submission. Should I give it away just yet or do you guys want to guess? I'm still new, so you'd probably have to guess for a few days.
It doesn't matter to me if I know who wrote what. I'm looking at the story the same way regardless of who wrote what.
Just wait until everyone's outted Friday or whenever. In the meantime roll around in your guilty conscience.
I've eleven more to analyze and evaluate, hopefully will finish tomorrow afternoon and start flooding the board with my humble opinions. A couple of these are decent, most are lame (don't take it personal), a few are... contenders for "Most Improved Screenwriter" next year. LOLOLOLOL!
I'm wondering if maybe instead of voting for one favorite, we should adjust the vote to top three or five... Think that'd be a huge plus for all future OWCS... IMHO....
It's a good idea since it's tough to really compare favorites. If we could vote for 2 or 3 it would probably make more sense.
If we each only get one vote, then someone could theoretically be everyone's second favorite and someone who is three people's favorite would beat that person out. If we all vote for two or three then that won't happen.
In the end it doesn't really matter, though. WE ALL WIN! Except for most people.
'Artist' is not a term you should use to refer to yourself. Let others, and your work, do it for you.
After reading the thirty fifth and final OWC, Mark crashes to the floor, taking table and all. His body appears lifeless... saliva slowly dripping from his mouth, the only clue to him being conscience.
In one final plea... he whispers:
Mark No more murdering psycho priests, mimes, dinosaurs and visible semen stains.
Living room floor
And on that note, he lay there... until his wife kicked him and told him to get to bed.
After reading the thirty fifth and final OWC, Mark crashes to the floor, taking table and all. His body appears lifeless... saliva slowly dripping from his mouth, the only clue to him being conscience.
In one final plea... he whispers:
Mark No more murdering psycho priests, mimes, dinosaurs and visible semen stains.
Living room floor
And on that note, he lay there... until his wife kicked him and told him to get to bed.
The grammar is awful and I couldn't follow the story. Who is Mark? Why does he need to read these scripts? Expand it, make us care for his predicament.
Just making an idle comment here regarding the significance of screenplay titles:
Seems Extraterrorestrial (hope I got that right) has had the most reviews and about 800 odd views - the most of any of these OWC scripts.
I criticised the title and actually suggested a change of name when I critiqued it (no offence to the writer) but actually must now give kudos to the writer for his choice of headline grabber.
Seems Extraterrorestrial (hope I got that right) has had the most reviews and about 800 odd views - the most of any of these OWC scripts.
It's the author afflicted with OCD and can't quit looking at his/her own reviews and his/her own remarks really appreciates and enjoys the beautiful comments his/her forum mates have left.
The grammar is awful and I couldn't follow the story. Who is Mark? Why does he need to read these scripts? Expand it, make us care for his predicament.
I'll shortly begin pasting individual reviews in each story's discussion, but for those of you who can't wait, here's my complete review & analysis structure and evaluation matrix comparison spreadsheet.
The idea is to provide some context as to why or how any given individual's story succeeded or failed in relationship to other submissions. Doesn't do us much good to just hear nothing back or glib remarks such as "You suck" (which I essentially did on a few of these myself.)
A good story can be overcome by a blown budget or poor genre marketability. A mediocre story can be a contender with a tight budget and high genre marketability.
Most of all - this sh!t is subjective. How one producer evaluates your submission will be different than how five or twenty-five other producers evaluate your submission based upon their own individual capabilities in production, estimating, and marketing. Where ten producers see nothing usable one will see something that they can do well. THAT'S the guy or gal you're looking for. This is just like dating.
Damn! I can't say I really agree with some of the things you wrote on mine, but I tip my hat to you for the incredible amount of work you put into the reviews. Thanks, man!
And I'm referring to the objective statements. Obviously we will disagree on some of the subjective statements and agree on others.
'Artist' is not a term you should use to refer to yourself. Let others, and your work, do it for you.
Finished. The contest was certainly a challenging one but 36 people still came out for it which is good times.
When all was said and done, I did a cumulative average of all the scores I gave out which came out of just over a C- average. I found no As among the scripts but considering the challenge, that's no surprise to me.
Congratulations to everyone who entered and, oh yeah...
I'll shortly begin pasting individual reviews in each story's discussion, but for those of you who can't wait, here's my complete review & analysis structure and evaluation matrix comparison spreadsheet.
The idea is to provide some context as to why or how any given individual's story succeeded or failed in relationship to other submissions. Doesn't do us much good to just hear nothing back or glib remarks such as "You suck" (which I essentially did on a few of these myself.)
A good story can be overcome by a blown budget or poor genre marketability. A mediocre story can be a contender with a tight budget and high genre marketability.
Most of all - this sh!t is subjective. How one producer evaluates your submission will be different than how five or twenty-five other producers evaluate your submission based upon their own individual capabilities in production, estimating, and marketing. Where ten producers see nothing usable one will see something that they can do well. THAT'S the guy or gal you're looking for. This is just like dating.
If there were ever a definition of going above and beyond... Wow. Good times, Ray.
My new nickname for my buddy Ray -- Ray the Ripper
You must have more time than God...thank you for the lengthy analysis. It will help us all and I love the cost analysis included in your thorough run down.
Holy shit, Ray. I can agree with cinemachado in saying that while I disagree with some of the objective statements you made on the one I wrote [ mine had a choice between good and evil, dammit! ], the amount of effort you've put into this is ungodly. I feel like I've only put half-assed efforts into my reviews now.
I'll shortly begin pasting individual reviews in each story's discussion, but for those of you who can't wait, here's my complete review & analysis structure and evaluation matrix comparison spreadsheet.
The idea is to provide some context as to why or how any given individual's story succeeded or failed in relationship to other submissions. Doesn't do us much good to just hear nothing back or glib remarks such as "You suck" (which I essentially did on a few of these myself.)
A good story can be overcome by a blown budget or poor genre marketability. A mediocre story can be a contender with a tight budget and high genre marketability.
Most of all - this sh!t is subjective. How one producer evaluates your submission will be different than how five or twenty-five other producers evaluate your submission based upon their own individual capabilities in production, estimating, and marketing. Where ten producers see nothing usable one will see something that they can do well. THAT'S the guy or gal you're looking for. This is just like dating.
Ray, your production breakdown is always a tremendous asset and I think even more so for this challenge. With a micro-budget restriction, it's important to get this perspective, and you did a fantastic job of it. My eyes were certainly opened a little more as a result, so thank you for that. It's greatly appreciated.
Ray, thanks for that. Whilst I have no idea how mine didn't reach 120plus it is a really different approach to everythign else, which helps me think about production.
Curious how you weighted the genres (even thought you put mine in the wrong one) as this seemed to have quite an affect, whatever the script quality.
The Elevator Most Belonging To Alice - Semi Final Bluecat, Runner Up Nashville Inner Journey - Page Awards Finalist - Bluecat semi final Grieving Spell - winner - London Film Awards. Third - Honolulu Ultimate Weapon - Fresh Voices - second place IMDb link... http://www.imdb.com/name/nm7062725/?ref_=tt_ov_wr
Only four more to go. Kind of burning out on the religious themes - but I'll get through the rest. Seems like there have been a good amount of reads for everyone this OWC - so great work all.
Back in AZ after a VERY successful business trip to the Pacific Northwest.
Awesome stuff here, Ray. Alot of time and effort you put into this and it is appreciated.
Are we guessing yet? Revealing yet?
Good job reading a reviewing by many. Very impressive. We'll find out soon who the A-Holes are that didn't read any, or just a few. You know who you are, so now's your last chance to jump in and start...before we send Cowboy Sam after you!!!!!
This was a hard bunch to guess. I'm thinking Phil might have written Now Lie In It. SR for Corpus Christi. TommyP for The Final Trip.
Any allegations that I wrote Cowboy Sam will be met by legal action.
Tough challenge.
If Michael Harrop or Michael Alexander, as he's now known, entered a script, I for one will be very pissed, s he didn't read or review a single entry, as far as I can tell. I would have thought the same, but I just highly doubt he'd be so lame as to not leave feedback for everyone.
Just in case Cowboy Sam is not a pisser, my apologies to the writer - hopefully, everyone knows my comments and jests are all in good fun.
I think Ryan may actually have written Jericho, which I did like indeed.
I have this sneaky suspicion Cornie wrote the X rated one.
I agree Tommy P wrote The Final Trip, and wouldn't be surprised if was tripping when he wrote and conceived it.
We know Mark - the one with those Irish Eyes, wrote Dante's Inferno...I mean If God owned a Hotel.
Only four more to go. Kind of burning out on the religious themes - but I'll get through the rest. Seems like there have been a good amount of reads for everyone this OWC - so great work all.
I was burned out on those themes since yesterday. I have a lot of respect (and sympathy) for those brave souls who have read everything, especially when a chunk of these started to bleed into each other. I haven't commented on everything, and I think I read everything, but I can't be sure because, again, I felt like every other OWC sp was a rewrite of the previous one I read---with all the religious themes and priests, nuns and demons. I think this was a tough OWC not just to write...but read as well.
Some titles also sound alike, although that couldn't be helped I 'spose.
I haven't commented on everything, and I think I read everything, but I can't be sure because, again, I felt like every other OWC sp was a rewrite of the previous one I read---with all the religious themes and priests, nuns and demons. I think this was a tough OWC not just to write...but read as well.
Not sure if you have a typo in here or not, Darren, but you definitely did not comment on everything, and if you read everything, I don't know why you wouldn't comment on it, at least briefly, but as is always the case, you chose not to comment on mine, and that makes every single OWC and every single script I've ever written that's been posted on SS.
I knew I missed one to read. I'll find it. I don't recall reading one w/ superheroes. But what I do know Jeff, is that I didn't write one w/ Superheroes. I was tempted to have mine around a comic book character, and make it a fan-script, but changed my mind.
Not sure if you have a typo in here or not, Darren, but you definitely did not comment on everything, and if you read everything, I don't know why you wouldn't comment on it, at least briefly, but as is always the case, you chose not to comment on mine, and that makes every single OWC and every single script I've ever written that's been posted on SS.
But, that doesn't surprise me either.
So...was I correct on yours?
I said I didn't comment on everything Jeff. Lay off the sauce I said I wasn't sure if I read everything, and I was correct. Even so, I don't feel I need to comment on everything even if I did read it. I don't want to sound like a kool aid drinker. If there's nothing new to say, generally I won't say it.
As for not getting to your entry What are the odds?
I said I didn't comment on everything Jeff. Lay off the sauce I said I wasn't sure if I read everything, and I was correct. Even so, I don't feel I need to comment on everything even if I did read it. I don't want to sound like a kool aid drinker. If there's nothing new to say, generally I won't say it.
As for not getting to your entry What are the odds?
Lay off the sauce? Meaning what. exactly? I'm far from on any special sauce right now, bro...just got back from a big business trip...relaxing, trying to catch up on all I missed today on these threads, as they actually mean alot to me.
What are the odds of you commenting on a script of mine? I an easily say they're ZERO %, as you've never commented on anything of mine, which means you're probably down about 14 to ZERO, but that's OK, bro. As I said, the odds are highly against that ever happening.
Just want to apologize for my quick responses I'm giving to these latter stories I'm reading. I'll go over them a little more thoroughly later. I just want to spend more time reading right now so I can get my vote in to Don.
Right, I’m finished getting through them all I think. If I missed anyone and they want a read, just pm me.
Great effort by everyone on what was a really tough challenge. And an extra special mention to Ray for some outstanding feedback. I was impressed with his analysis of the scripts – good stuff.
When do we start guessing the authors?
Quoted from Dreamscale
We'll find out soon who the A-Holes are that didn't read any, or just a few. You know who you are, so now's your last chance to jump in and start...before we send Cowboy Sam after you!!!!!
I have to admit to being surprised by the lack of readers, I think it was 32 members of the board that entered. There certainly weren’t 32 readers about but on the same note, a big thanks to guys/gals who didn’t enter but were giving out reads.
The Elevator Most Belonging To Alice - Semi Final Bluecat, Runner Up Nashville Inner Journey - Page Awards Finalist - Bluecat semi final Grieving Spell - winner - London Film Awards. Third - Honolulu Ultimate Weapon - Fresh Voices - second place IMDb link... http://www.imdb.com/name/nm7062725/?ref_=tt_ov_wr
Does anyone know when the reveal is coming. Today? Tomorrow? Haven't been too active on these boards but will try'n get through them all this weekend. Want to read them before the reveal, before my comments loose all credibility.
I think the reviewing turnout has been pretty good. Not everyone has the time to review 36 of them.
If it were me and I couldn't critique all, I'd at least read all of them, so my vote for fav. was legit.
And, as for voting I think it's one thing to judge the writing i.e. format/description etc but 'story' is key here in regard to the eventual audio performance imh. Should go without saying really... but I just thought I'd add my 2c.
Okay, finally finished. I think I skipped 1 or 2 entries because they seemed like they were from a first writer and I didn't want to echo everyone's comments and flame the script. But, hey, if I missed you and you want me to comment, I'd be happy to.
Only one 'A', I think 4 or 5 'B's? Two of them recommended first to read by Dena.
Can't wait to see the writers. I used Jeff's sneaky doc property way to find out a few entrants but kind of regret it now.
It's hard picking a favourite entry, three would have been good but what can you do?
Great job, everybody. A pleasure reading the scripts.
I also read all the scripts. Didn't comment on some due to as Mo said...people before had already said the same things over and over.
This was a hard contest to pick 'just one' for me. I had about five in the almost equal range on my list.
Congrats to everyone, no matter the feedback, on getting a script together and working to stay in the parameters. It's not about winning but about learning and I know I've yet again, learned a huge amount about writing, story, and cost analysis(thanks to Ray)
I love Ray, but I have no idea where he comes up with these production costs numbers. I will respectfully disagree with him though. Reason being is that he has no idea what the filmmakers/producers have access to and what type of quality film they aim to make. I've seen people make unbelievable features for less than $10K and i've seen people spend $50K on a short. There's also no way of knowing what they can do with CGI. That's the reason, I would say, not to put to much focus on Ray's budget numbers for your scripts.
I love Ray, but I have no idea where he comes up with these production costs numbers. I will respectfully disagree with him though. Reason being is that he has no idea what the filmmakers/producers have access to and what type of quality film they aim to make. I've seen people make unbelievable features for less than $10K and i've seen people spend $50K on a short. There's also no way of knowing what they can do with CGI. That's the reason, I would say, not to put to much focus on Ray's budget numbers for your scripts.
Good news Pia to some of us who went 'over' micro budget per Ray's analysis. I tried to write low budget but even mine was scored more expensive that I thought it would be to produce.
I love Ray, but I have no idea where he comes up with these production costs numbers. I will respectfully disagree with him though. Reason being is that he has no idea what the filmmakers/producers have access to and what type of quality film they aim to make. I've seen people make unbelievable features for less than $10K and i've seen people spend $50K on a short. There's also no way of knowing what they can do with CGI. That's the reason, I would say, not to put to much focus on Ray's budget numbers for your scripts.
EXACTLY!
BTW: And I love you too, Pia. I think you're cooler than an iceberg's toes!
Your point here is just what my disclaimer addresses:
Most of all - this sh!t is subjective. How one producer evaluates your submission will be different than how five or twenty-five other producers evaluate your submission based upon their own individual capabilities in production, estimating, and marketing.
Please, let me be clear: In no way do I EVER want to get into some p!ssing contest over subjective evaluations as this. I know that. You (and to everyone alse: Pia) know(s) this. "Well, Ray says it will cost $X,000 t make this!" "Well, Pia says it will cost half as much!" OMG. Please, just don't... Anybody ever get bids from several contractors to do the same job? Same thing. based upon their own individual capabilities in production, estimating, and marketing.
Now, if you guys are game, I can trot out a thread of shorts with known costs, whole or partial since a lot of these things are pretty sketchy. We can kick the tire, take a look under the hood, and beep the horn all together.
We will see amazing shorts with casts of fifty friends that cost nothing. We will see sh!t shorts that some fool spent the price of a nice car to make. Mostly we'll see 4 - 10minute shorts that cost from $2,000 to $5,000 to make.
No one makes money with shorts. Film festivals show roughly a hundred shorts and turn down several thousand submissions each year. What good is a short that no one wants to watch or only a hundred people watch? Youtube's full of them.
If you got actor friends that'll work for sanwiches and film credits - fine. Most folks gotta goto craigslist.org, book audition space at local libraries or whatnot, and then pay the actors... something. Same for the audio guy. Often the producer is also the director / also the DP / also the editor.
Maybe you know a motel manager/owner that'll let you have an empty room for free or walk-on part in the short, or doesn't mind if your crew up-ends the room or moves everything outside for "a few hours." Probably not, though.
Props and costumes cost money. Actors cost money. Locations and permits often cost money. Insurance certainly costs money. Cameras. Sound crew. Editing equipment. Film festival submission fees.
Well... how much does all this shhhtuff cost?
Why is my "driving down the road in the rain" scene getting cut? Well... what is the director supposed to do? Wait until it rains one night when the actor + director/DP + audio guy are all available to shoot that scene? Puh-leeeeeeze.
A room full of dead bodies and dismembered limbs with blood sloshed everywhere is going to be a $$$ nightmare. The scene had better last longer than 15 screen seconds.
Right? This isn't Hollywood. This is Bob barkeeper or Deanna dance teacher putzin' around on their weekends just havin' some serious fun.
My intent was only to provide SOME context. I hope I showed some. Nothing difinitive. Just one imaginary producer's free estimate for your job, Ma'am. I estimated to the best of my ability. I determined the market for each submission to the best of my ability. It is what it is.
Okay, I believe I'm done. I skipped over a couple that had just atrocious reviews. Especially the one where the author chimed in and admitted to being French Canadian--not because he may need help on his script, but because he only had one post and that was it.
Gonna be a tough vote, usually one or two of these stand out above the rest, but I think all of the decent entries suffer from that super natural backstory exposition, or they just skipped over it which is a no vote for me.
Also, I've read most if not all of these but skipped on making redundant comments. I still have more comments to add, but please let me know if I've missed yours.
'Artist' is not a term you should use to refer to yourself. Let others, and your work, do it for you.
Well, the jig is almost up, folks. It's time to gather the roses so we can throw them at the feet of whoever wrote Cowboy Sam. It's also time to dig deep and analyze which script made best use of mimes... "The Cycle" perhaps? Or "Tool of Morality"?
It's been fun and I'm anxious to see who wrote my favorites!
Going to debate about it at work and send my choice to Don tonight.
It's between 3 of them for the best. A lot of them were decent, and some not so much. (On one (the last one I had to read that I was saving for last because I somehow knew with my magic ways of reading loglines,) I only read the first 3 paragraphs and that was enough.)
I'll go back and make comments on the ones I didn't respond to over the next few days.
I wrote "Will The Real Demon Please Stand Up", and I actually had all the Scooby Do characters in it, but The Don rejected it as a pisser, so I farmed it out to Ledbetter.
Yeah, you wrote "Will the Real Demon Please Rise" (get the title right) but I gave you the idea for it. You didn't even give me my Story By credit...
No, that was my original title that got rejected, and yes, thank you for the idea, Sean.
On my original draft, on the title page, I had written by Quentin Tarentino, original idea by Mr. Blonde. Shawn (Led) changed it up and took away your credit. Sorry, bro.
On my original draft, on the title page, I had written by Quentin Tarentino, original idea by Mr. Blonde. Shawn (Led) changed it up and took away your credit. Sorry, bro.
I started off reading and evaluating them all, but life got in the way. I hope to still read all of them and comment, even if others said the same thing. I don't read the reviews before I read the scripts, as to not taint my eval. I did, however, just read Cowboy Sam because of all the comments on this thread.
I am still shaking my head, and also can't get the image of the fat lady crashing through the wall!! The motel room scene reminded me of the one in From Dusk Til Dawn. I think whoever wrote this is not an amateur. I base this on some of the words used and the ages of the characters. Not this writers "first rodeo," but was written in haste.
I really appreciate all of the writers that submitted something, and kind of feel I owe it to them to at least read them all.
My Scripts: SHORTS Bed Bugs I Got The Shaft No Clowning Around Fool's Gold Five Days for Redemption
I think Stevie definitely wrote One of God's Special Children, as I found his name on the doc, but didn't want to call him out. It's a good script, and one of my faves, but I did not vote for it.
IMO, there are about 4 scripts that are hands and shoulders above the others. And there are 3 or 4 that are passed out in the basement, ready to be killed in an ugly fashion.
I think Stevie definitely wrote One of God's Special Children, as I found his name on the doc, but didn't want to call him out.
His Beatles reference must've been thinly veiled, then, because I didn't see any. In fact, the only overt Beatles reference I recall seeing was when a script had "Yellow Submarine" playing. Good times.
His Beatles reference must've been thinly veiled, then, because I didn't see any. In fact, the only overt Beatles reference I recall seeing was when a script had "Yellow Submarine" playing. Good times.
That's the same script I'm talking about!!! Unless someone was fucking with the short short, wearing balding Aussie...
I don't believe I've really met you yet, but it's nice to meet you.
You had one of the funniest comments I've read in a while on my story's thread. I don't even know if you really meant for it to be funny, but I loved it.
Hmm, if I could guess, I'd say that One of God's Special Children, while not my favorite, will be in the top tier and maybe win the grand prize. Not sure what other scripts will make it. Any guesses?
That confuses the hell out of me. You have three wholly average scripts (according to my scoring; C+, B- and C-, respectively) along with Cowboy Sam, so you can't be saying which is the best OR worst. Are you guessing what someone wrote?
And, damn it, I wish I could pick out your styles easier. I guess I'm just not that detail oriented.
I think I said this earlier, but I'll say it again now...
I wish I wrote Cowboy Sam! I honestly do. I love it. And no offense to the writer if it's a serious effort, but it is seriously so God Awful, that IMO, it is a classic. There are lines in there that I only wish I could come up with.
maybe it really is Ryan's? His first Pisstake, per chance? If so, a home run has been hit and Price Fielder won't have to show that blazing speed and athletic ability he displayed last night
I still have ExtraTERRORestrial as my number one overall. Also, a lot of people really liked Johnny.
ExtraTERRORestrial.
A Dark and Stormy Weekend (Could've easily been an A).
Johnny.
One of God's Special Children.
Corpus Christi.
Those are my top five. Seems like we have a little bit of a disagreement.
EDIT: That said, I tried not to focus on all the requirements so much because it was insanely tough to try and hit them all. But, if they did their best, they got a pass from me.
I still have ExtraTERRORestrial as my number one overall. Also, a lot of people really liked Johnny.
ExtraTERRORestrial.
A Dark and Stormy Weekend (Could've easily been an A).
Johnny.
One of God's Special Children.
Corpus Christi.
Those are my top five. Seems like we have a little bit of a disagreement.
EDIT: That said, I tried not to focus on all the requirements so much because it was insanely tough to try and hit them all. But, if they did their best, they got a pass from me.
Not really. I thought Johnny had something, and as I said, I definitely thought the TERROR was very well written.
Corpus Christi was far from bad, but definitely not in my top 5.
Dark and Stormy? No clue what that one even is, but I guess based on that, it didn't do it for me, but we share a few tops, right?
Dark and Stormy? No clue what that one even is, but I guess based on that, it didn't do it for me, but we share a few tops, right?
Dark and Stormy was the writer's retreat one. A good idea that had one severe misfire that should be an intriguing fix if the writer decides to rewrite it.
Pretty much. Just one of those things where I do agree with a couple people's suggestions that a top 3 would certainly work better than just a winner (considering the 36 entries). Picking one out of 36 is hard enough but then, to have multiple people choose that same one? I'm guessing we're going to have some ties at the top.
Dark and Stormy was the writer's retreat one. A good idea that had one severe misfire that should be an intriguing fix if the writer decides to rewrite it.
Ummm...yeah...now I remember that one. Sorry, actually one of my least faves that were half way decently written.
I think I know which one Michael wrote... then again could be wrong. As far as anyone else perhaps could guess Jeff and Led maybe, but haven't been around enough lately to guess any of the newbs.
Top contenders, not nec. by order, for me:
Left to Right Skiptrace A Light in Room 12 Corpus Christi
purely cause to me they had the most 'story' and entertained me.
Left to right? Seriously? Wow...easily in my bottom 7.
Different strokes of course, unless you're touting your won script, LC? For reals? The one that missed almost every single OWC constraint purposely, blew through even a mid sized budget for a short, and ended with a joke/dream?
Hey, again, we all have our own opinions and sorry for jumping on this, but this does actually shock me.
EDIT - Wow, I am shocked and I apologize if this is any other writer than LC, but this thing has at least 20 mistakes, probably 30 on every single page! I am amazed at this. Maybe LC wrote this or she didn't read more than 2 scripts, including Cowboy Sam and House.
Sorry to be harsh, but this kind of crap really upsets me...
I don't believe I've really met you yet, but it's nice to meet you.
You had one of the funniest comments I've read in a while on my story's thread. I don't even know if you really meant for it to be funny, but I loved it.
Well, I'm glad I made you laugh! I can only hope I was trying to. It was probably either a bad pun or play on words... Or maybe just self-deprecating humor. =D
And yes, that is my name. Pleasure to "meet" you as well!
'Artist' is not a term you should use to refer to yourself. Let others, and your work, do it for you.
"A four door saloon" What is a four door saloon? Is that some sort of fancy car? I'm thinking a watering spot or gin mill..... but then they don't zoom down the highway.
I love that Cowboy Sam story. Maybe I'm retarded...hmmm I've been called 'that' before...recently even.
Whoever wrote Cowboy Sam...my hat's off to ya! And my cowgirl boots too!
I voted for 'Evil Dead Remake'. I know, I know, probably not the most original take on the OWC and it didn't follow the parameters, but just reading it and the descriptions, it's like I saw it playing in front of me without even trying.
My top 5:
Now Lie In It A Light in Room 12 Damages Deliver Us From Evil Bad Juju
(I know, I know, but I loved the idea behind 'Bad Juju' so much. I just wish that ending never happened.)
*With a horrible Schwarzenegger impression* You expect me to believe you? You know you're lying.
I'm actually not lying and The Don can confirm that.
I thought it was very well written and very well conceived. I did not like the ending, but I had to give it the edge over the other contenders...sine I couldn't vote for my own.
Now, I see how you operate. Voting for your own when no one's looking, eh? Meh. Who am I to judge? I was *this close* to voting for my own. Except Don would know that I was a complete ass.
Okay, not really. I'm not even that fond of my own. Lol. =)
EDIT: I agree that Damages was good but that ending... It could've been done so much better. Possibly a victim of a single week of writing but there was a much darker route to take it that I think would've been good times. =)
In the span of a couple minutes, I was completely with it and now, I look at the last few posts, think to myself, "Uh..." and pass out. Lol.
"Now, where was I?"
Ah, yes. I believe we were discussing the results of the votes we turned into Mr. Don. I'm hoping they're up tomorrow because tonight is like the last few hours before the Oscars start and you're making your picks, knowing that nothing of interest is happening (because the Red Carpet goes on for eight hours) but you're hoping for the damn thing to start.
Sorry ...me got punkin spice on my brain...everything is punkin flavored this time of year
I do have to get more Pumpkin Spice Coffee. Hopefully someone won't spike it with Jim Beam like they did while I was writing the OWC with my bondage blonde on my lap
I do have to get more Pumpkin Spice Coffee. Hopefully someone won't spike it with Jim Beam like they did while I was writing the OWC with my bondage blonde on my lap
Hmmmmmmmmmmm my my that punkin spice stuff done made you go an hallucinate. Told ya to stick with the shrooms
I think my vote would have to go to....Now Lie In It. It was far from perfect, and other scripts were technically better written, but with a rewrite I think it could make a great, mini-grindhouse short. Very memorable visual of pulling the steak from the sink and tossing it to Satan Jr. in the tub.
Pretty sure Jeff wrote One of God's Special Children.
I'm pretty sure it was Stevie who wrote that one. The use of 'Yellow Submarine' was too much of a giveaway. I'm also pretty sure James wrote 'A Light In Room Twelve'.
I couldn't vote as I didn't actually enter the challenge, but my choice out of the ones I did read would probably have been 'Damages'. Even though I had major problems with the ending, this is the one that I though about the most after reading it.
I voted for The Ledger. It was flawed, as all these scripts were due to the constraints, but it had the most memorable characters to me. I also gave honorable mention to Skitzo, which I think Jeff wrote, and Procella, no idea who wrote that. I had Michael pegged for Now Lie In It, but now that Phil started reading all of these, I think that's his. Absolutely zero inside info this OWC, so these are complete guesses.
The Elevator Most Belonging To Alice - Semi Final Bluecat, Runner Up Nashville Inner Journey - Page Awards Finalist - Bluecat semi final Grieving Spell - winner - London Film Awards. Third - Honolulu Ultimate Weapon - Fresh Voices - second place IMDb link... http://www.imdb.com/name/nm7062725/?ref_=tt_ov_wr
Ray, I gotta say. You are amazing. If I ever actually get the chance to lend a helping hand (I've been asked, but I lived too far away), in any future productions, I am giving them your name during pre-production.
Yep. Can't wait for the reveal to see who I can discreetly label OCDOCDOCDOCDOCDOCDOCD...
I find it (what's a word less dramatic than "disturbing"?) unfortunate that some submissions have received so few views, and others few comments. I've yet to go back to my own notes (which I'll concede are subjective) and compare with the comments of others to see if there's a suck-to-few-comments correlation. There might be. Just a theory, though.
Oh, and my submission is one of the higher-viewed count submissions and I assure you I haven't read the comments to my entry anywhere near enough to jack up the views count. So, I'm using that perspective as a foundation to formulate a theory.
Quoted Text
Anonymous user 18: i dunno how you have the time to do this
Takes about two minutes to think of it, five minutes to collect the data and prep it, about thirty minutes to arrange the data, another twenty minutes to do the three graphs, and then over the next couple hour's I'll think of refinements to modify or supplement the info. No biggie.
I voted for Scriptrace. Also liked Jericho, Schitzo, Johnny. Was torn between Scriptrace and Jericho.
Haven't read a few, actually started but didn't finish. I was on vacation all these days, the internet connection wasn't the best and I would get disconnected in the middle of the read sometimes. The entries that I commented on I read in full.
Big thanks to Don for another fun OWC! And thanks to all who read and commented!
I voted for Skiptrace. Had a good feel to it, though as James noted, all the scripts were tough to get through in one way or another. Very challenging OWC.
Oh, and I didn't write the one with Yellow Submarine! I haven't put in Beatles refs to an OWC in about 3 years, lol!
Sometimes exciting. Sometimes bubble-bursting. Sometimes flattering. Sometimes demeaning. But always a grueling good time.
Sort of like a root canal during Mardi Gras.
My vote went to ExtraTERRORestrial. Most of the priest and demon scripts wadded together like a bag of gummibears left in the car on a hot August afternoon. ExtraTERRORestrial stuck out and stayed fresh in my mind at the end of the week.
Thanks to Don for a wonderful week of triumph and humiliation!!
I read them all, commented on 20 something. My story was an embarrassment. I really screwed it up but at least a few people saw there was a decent idea buried in a mess. LOL.
So there's actually a big freaking hurricane coming my way tonight. I should find me a motel room
Quoted from Coop
When God Owns a Motel - Mark (irish eyes)
I wish I wrote this. This was the penmanship of a genius, who was able to take a 14th century poem and place in the modern era, using minimum budget and a beat up motel. I'm not that talented.
The reality is that Cowboy Sam was written by 11 different writers, who each had up to 1 page. We started with Mark, and continued down the line until we had some semblance of a full story. We obviously ran out of room at the end but didn't feel it would be right to get rid of our beloved Madame Putz.
So, I've outed 2 of us. Do the rest of you want to chime in now and take a bow, or should we wait?
You should all be able to guess right now, but I would hold off from doing any reveals on your authorship until we are sure the voting is done. I think some people are still reading.
However, if what Jeff says about Cowboy Sam is true then it probably wouldn't hurt for the authors to come forward since two of you have already. I don't think we have any worries that the reveal of an author of that particular script would affect the voting on it.
Naa I should be so lucky... I royally screwed up the OWC. In my defense - I thought every character was supposed to be supernatural. Also, had a vacation to tend to.
Did anyone else notice how many duffle bags were included as a prop item?
I just might go back through my notes and see what were there the most of, duffle bags or priests!
FYI: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Theatrical_property A theatrical property, commonly referred to as a prop, is an object used on stage by actors to further the plot or story line of a theatrical production. Smaller props are referred to as "hand props". Larger props may also be set decoration, such as a chair or table. The difference between a set decoration and a prop is use. If the item is not touched by a performer for any reason it is simply a set decoration. If it is touched by the actor in accordance to script requirements or as deemed by the director, it is a prop.
MORE FUN WITH NERD NUMBERZ! https://docs.google.com/spread.....id=0 Rows 183 - 218, Column E Comments per non-outlier average of 394 views. (As if it had received no more or less than 394 views)
Code
36 A Dark and Stormy Weekend - Tied, Highest
25 A Light In Room Twelve
34 Bad Juju
31 Blood Ties
23 Corpus Christi - Tied, Lowest
24 Cowboy Sam
22 Damages
31 Darkness
25 Deliver Us From Evil
33 Double or Nothing
17 ExtraTERRORestrial - Data unusable
35 Forgotten Faith
28 Ghosts of the Third Reich
31 House
25 Into The Eye
33 Isidro
32 Jericho
29 Johnny
35 Left or Right
25 Lost in the Storm
26 Now Lie In It
23 One of God's Special Children - Tied, Lowest
30 Procella
30 Room 107
30 Room 3
26 Sacred Acceptance
28 Skiptrace
27 Skitzo
26 Super Inn
28 The Cycle
25 The Final Trip
24 The Ledger
25 The Tool of Morality
36 Those That Help Themselves - Tied, Highest
31 When God Owns A Motel
31 Will the Real Demon Please Rise
The purpose of analyzing this sort of data is that there are largely two major factors in evaluating the marketing of a film. The first is the film's premise: Is it interesting? Premise is what puts butts-in-seats AKA $$ in a theater owner + studio's hands. People can't tell if they like the film or not until they've already paid to go see it. Well... I've already got my money, who cares? The second is the film's word of mouth/buzz/feedback: Did people like it or not? Usually positive/negative feedback equates to corresponding ticket sales beyond the opening weekend. This is why we care.
If there's positive feedback on a low premise interest film - who cares? If there's negative feedback on a high premise interest film - everyone laughs all the way to the bank.
So, now you gotta determine if the feedback is good or bad to determine the VALUE of the comment QUANTIFICATION. Are we writing titles and loglines that promote an interesting premise (views) - and - does the initial feedback garner ADDITIONAL interest (comments)?
The Elevator Most Belonging To Alice - Semi Final Bluecat, Runner Up Nashville Inner Journey - Page Awards Finalist - Bluecat semi final Grieving Spell - winner - London Film Awards. Third - Honolulu Ultimate Weapon - Fresh Voices - second place IMDb link... http://www.imdb.com/name/nm7062725/?ref_=tt_ov_wr
I am surprised no one other than Ryan outed himself on our little Cowboy Sam gag.
Even joking, I would never attempt to take credit for writing a single page of that script. First of all, I'm not clever enough. Second of all, anyone who's ever read anything of mine, knows there's none of my usual tropes in there.
I've read them all now (I think) except for House which I couldn't finish. There are a couple that I read on my iPad and was going to write comments on ones I got to my laptop, but then I had forgot the script. Sorry. When the authors are revealed, I will go back and comment on those if the writers were contributing to this OWC or are members here.
Hope the reveal is soon and that Don tells us where he came up with this bizarre idea.
I think Room 107 had the best sex scene... or maybe that was just me fantasizing.
I had a sex scene between a mime and a ventriloquist puppet in mine. I did not post it for a reason, but will soon. And I hope to get some feedback on it since I took part with reading.
She wrote two stories. Submitted one. Got to vote.
Only wrote one Ray and I did not submit it. When I do though, I want to see you do a breakdown of it!! It would also be fun to see your budget for it compared to mine.
While we're discussing budgets, Ray, I'd like to see you put together a budget for me, including 3 nights out per week, and 1 of those being at my local strip club establishment, coming in under $200.
You must understand that the libations alone are over $50/night, and I'd like to have a nice meal in there as well, at least once per week. I am open to killing someone each week, if I have to.
- 3 nights out per week - 1 of those being at my local strip club establishment - libations alone are over $50/night - a nice meal in there as well, at least once per week - under $200.
I am open to killing someone each week, if I have to.
$200 - $150 ($50 x 3) = $50 - $20 Good meal, for one = $30 for strip club. Go crazy, Jeff.
Killing someone can be performed at no cost with found objects. Cars work good. Firearms, if you got 'em, are also popular. Knives and blunt objects work good. Poisoning if you're feeling girly - and patient.
Actually, Ray, you've helped out already, because if I were to go to The Titty Twister, I bet my libations come in well under $50/night.
I also own a car and could use a kitchen knife.
I think I'm there...now I just have to move down to Mexico and be within 30 miles or so of that establishment...but I'd need to bring garlic, crucifixes, and stakes, to take care of the local vamps.
Would you care to break down a few of your favorite submissions to this Oct OWC, as well?
Maybe when this OWC is over.
Quoted from Dreamscale
I think I'm there...now I just have to move down to Mexico and be within 30 miles or so of that establishment...but I'd need to bring garlic, crucifixes, and stakes, to take care of the local vamps.
Can I go with you Jeff? Sounds like my kind of place!!
I think we should start revealing. This has gone on too long. There are no winners or losers, and if some peeps haven't voted yet, they too have waited way too long.
For starters, Cowboy Sam was not written by multiple writers, as far as I know. I had hoped a bunch of you knuckleheads would jump in and keep the charade alive, but...NO...no players wanted to play along, which in my big fat book, is fucking WEAK!
So, who honestly wants to step up and take credit for this guaranteed script of the year?
I don't see a reason why people cant reveal what they wrote. It used to happen about a week after the scripts were posted in the old days anyway. There doesn't seem to be too many new people reading anyway. Besides, it's nt a damned contest!!
One of God's Special Children, as some correctly guessed, but others were way off.
Thank you for some kind words. Glad some enjoyed it. I almost didn't enter, because I wasn't very happy with it, but as the days and weeks have passed, I'm cool with it.
I don't care about the iScript, really, but I look at it as a contest nonetheless. You write a script under a set of guidelines and have it done by a certain, specified time with a prize for first. You can understand how I'd mistake it as such.
Besides, I'll give you another reason why I like to look at it as a contest. I had no other reason to write this script. It's not one I'm particularly fond of and the execution was weak because it was rushed. To me, it's a free "contest" that comes up a couple times a year and it would be a shame to miss out on it.
Don has only given those away a few times. I don't think he has to unless he feels like it. It costs him money, you know and he hasn't promised to give one away...
Btw, you can buy those mugs too. Just don't by the left handed one. Ridiculously over priced!!
I don't care about the iScript, really, but I look at it as a contest nonetheless. You write a script under a set of guidelines and have it done by a certain, specified time with a prize for first. You can understand how I'd mistake it as such.
Besides, I'll give you another reason why I like to look at it as a contest. I had no other reason to write this script. It's not one I'm particularly fond of and the execution was weak because it was rushed. To me, it's a free "contest" that comes up a couple times a year and it would be a shame to miss out on it.
What if someone actually intended to produce a few of these. Would you still prefer the mug?
One of God's Special Children, as some correctly guessed, but others were way off.
Thank you for some kind words. Glad some enjoyed it. I almost didn't enter, because I wasn't very happy with it, but as the days and weeks have passed, I'm cool with it.
Who's next??
I got fooled twice, that rarely happens. Can usually peg Jeff.
I wrote A Light in Room Twelve. I hated this challenge. Almost didn't enter. My writing starts out pretty smooth and then goes right into the shitter. Was on my fourth tall can at the time. Oh well, was fun to enter.
Gonna guess that Now Lie In It wins overall. Don't know who wrote that.
What if someone actually intended to produce a few of these. Would you still prefer the mug?
Well, nobody will be interested in producing mine because it's not ready to be produced (besides, I've had 53 offers since I joined the site. To this point, not one has actually been filmed), so I honestly don't have to worry about that. As for the mug, I don't need it. I only drink water. Lol.
I got fooled twice, that rarely happens. Can usually peg Jeff.
I wrote A Light in Room Twelve. I hated this challenge. Almost didn't enter. My writing starts out pretty smooth and then goes right into the shitter. Was on my fourth tall can at the time. Oh well, was fun to enter.
Gonna guess that Now Lie In It wins overall. Don't know who wrote that.
ExtraTERRORestrial - B+ A Dark and Stormy Weekend - B Johnny - B One of God's Special Children - B Coprus Christi - B- Skiptrace - B- Damages - C+ Into the Eye - C+ Lost in the Storm - C+ Procella - C+ Skitzo - C+ Will the Real Demon Please Rise - C+ Bad Juju - C The Cycle - C Deliver Us From Evil - C Forgotten Faith - C Jericho - C The Ledger - C A Light in Room Twelve - C Room 107 - C Sacred Acceptance - C Darkness - C- Ghosts of the Third Reich - C- Now Lie In It - C- Room 3 - D+ Blood Ties - D The Final Trip - D Left or Right - D Super Inn - D Those That Help Themselves - D When God Owns a Motel - D The Tool of Morality - D- Cowboy Sam - F Double or Nothing - F House - F Isidro - F
Was surprised at all of the love for Extraterrorestial. I don't think it hit the parameters at all. Just because they're aliens, it does not give them SUPER natural backstory. Super natural means to be above or beyond your own kind.
Was surprised at all of the love for Extraterrorestial. I don't think it hit the parameters at all. Just because they're aliens, it does not give them SUPER natural backstory. Super natural means to be above or beyond your own kind.
That's what I thought, too, but before I contest started, I looked up things that could be considered supernatural. Aliens were among them, so I had no particular problem with it.
I liked skiptrace a lot. Was in my top five for sure. And Sean, thanks for the passing grade for my script Johnny. It was my first script ever and I was a little nervous about submitting it but I was glad you liked it along with some others. - Dirk
I liked skiptrace a lot. Was in my top five for sure. And Sean, thanks for the passing grade for my script Johnny. It was my first script ever and I was a little nervous about submitting it but I was glad you liked it along with some others.
Thank you. And, I'm not the only one who seemed to like it. A lot of people did. But, I still say it needed a darker ending (just me), though.
James, I actualy was liking yours, but as you said, it feel down as it went and your writing did show signs of the Tall Boys coming to play. I also knew yours by your PDF...not sure what's up with that, but it's always a dead giveaway.
Thank you DV. I also think I gave you some positive feedback. It was wel done and I applaud your eforts for a tough OWC.
Sean, yours as well...good job. There were things I really liked about yours and others that I obviosly didn't, but it was a very solid effort and I wouldn't be sruprised if you take this baby home and get to drink water out olf the coveted mug.
Sean, yours as well...good job. There were things I really liked about yours and others that I obviosly didn't, but it was a very solid effort and I wouldn't be sruprised if you take this baby home and get to drink water out olf the coveted mug.
You, as well. Besides the borderline Kimmie May dialogue, I really enjoyed yours. Maybe if I had come out and plainly stated that Petric was the Grim Reaper, I would have a shot at the proverbial mug but at this moment, I say yours is in a battle with ExtraTERRORestrial for the top prize.
And thanks for that feedback too Jeff. Honestly I sweating a little before I read your review on Johnny. But you were nice in your review and you gave me some useful advice. Things like "Sounds of people screaming" is the same as we see. I had no idea about that so thank you.
I liked yours Jeff, though I voted for Skiptrace(nice work, Blonde!)
Mine was Blood Ties - might as reveal as no one will guess it, lol. It got panned abit but I was happy with it, seeing as it became a deadline slog.
Thank you, Stevie, but you did say that it wasn't our best overall OWC. I agree, though, but I think everybody did their best with the time and stipulations we had.
And the important thing is that you like your script. I don't know if I'd say it was panned, though. There were some that were PANNED (and I'm not even talking House or Cowboy Sam)... =)
Stevie, bro, I was liking yours up front and then it feel..nosedived, and as I said, I wondered if it was a pisser. Please don't take offense, but for me, the dialogue was far from your best, and you usually nail good dialogue. It seemed to me like you were running on empty or against the hour and you just revealed everything through a character, that made it all seem so unreal. Thanks, bro. for your kind words as well - I kinda hung you out to dry with the Beatles song and I actually even put your name on the doc properties!
DV, yeah, for reals..your first ever script in this tough challenge? WOW..well done, bro. Very impressed...
And again, to each and all, sorry if my comments offended or hurt. They were not meant to. I speak from the heart and from my overly rotund gut and I do calls 'em as I sees 'em.
Glad to see some peeps owning up. As I said before, this was a ridiculous challenge. I think its why the likes of Ryan, Bert, and Kev stayed out. They're always contenders.
Zero power here in Ctown now. Transformers arcing in the distance which gives this night quite an ominous clos ure. Makes me want to write an end of the world script. Before 12-12-12. Or is it 11-11-11? Friggin Myans
I wrote A Dark and Stormy Weekend. I was really regretting entering day after submitting, so I was surprised when some of you liked it. So, thanks for the reviews. (And I know the winged creature at the end was a bad call...)
There were a lot of these I liked. One of God's Special Children, Procella, Lost in the Storm, Johnny...but I voted for ExtraTERRORestrial. It was a really tough choice, though.
Coops knew as soon as he read Sacred Acceptance that it was mine. As I said though - idea Wednesday morning, worked out I had 2 hours while my husband was at darts to write it, no rewrites and submitting while my husband walks through the door - no logline!!! face palm!!! He hates it when I'm on the computer - writting consumes me.
Thanks to all comments. I don't know where the whole icecream thing came from - just popped into my head and I ran with it.
Bflywings, I'm sorry...I didn't mean to be mean. Honestly, I didn't.
I actually had to go back and see what I wrote, because I had absolutely no clue what your script was...or what it was about. But, as I said, your 5th line or whatever it was about someone turning around and seeing a hurricane approaching or whatever it was, is just...well..it ain't good, sister. I've never been in a hurricane before but I'm fairly confident that you don't just turn and see one coming at you in the distance, and for me, that was your death knoll.
It obviously doesn't help with no logline. Sorry about my words, but I do hope you understand how a single horrible line early on can literally sink the ship.
Scriptrace is yours, Sean? --I loved it. And DV (sorry, don't know your name) - Johnny was very close for me. I actually think that Scriptrace and Johnny are somewhat alike in theme - someone turning delusional.
Stevie, bro, I was liking yours up front and then it feel..nosedived, and as I said, I wondered if it was a pisser. Please don't take offense, but for me, the dialogue was far from your best, and you usually nail good dialogue. It seemed to me like you were running on empty or against the hour and you just revealed everything through a character, that made it all seem so unreal. Thanks, bro. for your kind words as well - I kinda hung you out to dry with the Beatles song and I actually even put your name on the doc properties!
DV, yeah, for reals..your first ever script in this tough challenge? WOW..well done, bro. Very impressed...
And again, to each and all, sorry if my comments offended or hurt. They were not meant to. I speak from the heart and from my overly rotund gut and I do calls 'em as I sees 'em.
Cheers bro. Actually, if I'm not doing comedy, I find dialogue tough. I thought I did ok on this one, as I was trying to show the Mexicans speaking politely, as they would do around each other.
Actually, I can handle any criticism after the Niners fisted the Cards today. LOL!
Finished. Disappointed, but finished. I had a stretch where I was liking it, then it all kind of fell apart.
My response then: Again, that's the way I felt with mine, but perhaps, like me, you'll re-read your work again in, say, 24 hours, and wonder what was so bad about it.
I should have added: given the parimeters Because one thing I never liked in mine (and most everyone's in general) was the concept that all the characters had to have a supernatural expierience.
And I attempted to write in a "popular" sub-genre which I don't do often,, but only to challenge myself to make this worthwhile. I'll have you all know what I didn't like about my entry, Isidro was the same things some of you didn't like. I was iffy when I wrote that demons on the wind stuff, even if the characters meant it to BS the other characters and get them off guard. I expected a mixed reaction at best. I was far, far off.
I already done the rewrite. I'll put it up here when the time is right, but it's up at Talentville right now.
Jeff - No, no offense taken, lol. My first bout of criticism was in early Jan this year (by no-one on here) and my reaction was "What the...." I jumped around for a bit, cursed, then realized I was wrong and they were right. Ever since then it's been smooth sailing - any criticism is good criticism.
I only have trouble when I can't understand why - which was kind of what happened with your comment until...
"I've never been in a hurricane before but I'm fairly confident that you don't just turn and see one coming at you in the distance, and for me, that was your death knoll."
Now I get it.
As I said in an earlier comment, I'm guessing mine was the last of the first five you read, cause I could literaly see you banging your head on the keyboard at that stage.
I wrote Procella. Not Room 107, Coop. Not everything I write is about bank robbers.
Congrats to everyone. I especially like Now Lie In It, One of God's Special Children, ExtraTERRORestrial and Skiptrace (though I don't think I stand alone in liking those).
I liked skiptrace a lot. Was in my top five for sure. And Sean, thanks for the passing grade for my script Johnny. It was my first script ever and I was a little nervous about submitting it but I was glad you liked it along with some others. - Dirk
The Elevator Most Belonging To Alice - Semi Final Bluecat, Runner Up Nashville Inner Journey - Page Awards Finalist - Bluecat semi final Grieving Spell - winner - London Film Awards. Third - Honolulu Ultimate Weapon - Fresh Voices - second place IMDb link... http://www.imdb.com/name/nm7062725/?ref_=tt_ov_wr
The Elevator Most Belonging To Alice - Semi Final Bluecat, Runner Up Nashville Inner Journey - Page Awards Finalist - Bluecat semi final Grieving Spell - winner - London Film Awards. Third - Honolulu Ultimate Weapon - Fresh Voices - second place IMDb link... http://www.imdb.com/name/nm7062725/?ref_=tt_ov_wr
Scriptrace is yours, Sean? --I loved it. And DV (sorry, don't know your name) - Johnny was very close for me. I actually think that Scriptrace and Johnny are somewhat alike in theme - someone turning delusional.
Yeah, it was mine. I recall you saying you pretty much knew who it was and I couldn't help but chuckle because there was a 99.7% chance that whomever you thought wrote it... wasn't me. Whose did you actually think it was?
And, DV44 is Dirk. Not a bad reaction for a first one, huh? =)
As I said in an earlier comment, I'm guessing mine was the last of the first five you read, cause I could literally see you banging your head on the keyboard at that stage.
Actually, now that I think about it, I'm pretty sure you're right - it was the last of the first batch. Funny...
But why did you have your male character butt ass nude the entire script?.
As general advice to each and every writer in the world, if you're gong to have nude characters, for my sake, please make them female and sexy as Hell.
I think I have read and commented on 28 of the entries, read more but will get to comment on the rest later. Didn't enter myself . . . Cowboy Sam is loosely inspired by my persona though, someone of you will have spotted the parallels . . .
I think those that do not enter, but read and comment on all of them should be allowed vote, just my opinion . . . or sour grapes
Very impressive. Not only did you have time to write one but you wrote two excellent scripts in a week.
Congrats Felipe on your script. Nice job. It was a close second for me next to Jeff's script.
To Bill (Reef Dreamer) thanks for the kind words. I enjoyed Into the Eye, nicely done in a week's time.
Khamanna - I'm Dirk by the way. Thanks for the review, glad you liked it.
To Sean (Mr. Blonde) Skiptrace was great. Pretty nice writing for someone who started late because he didn't know what to write about but you came through at the end.
And thanks to everybody who took the time to read my script! My writing was all over the place but you have to start somewhere.
The Elevator Most Belonging To Alice - Semi Final Bluecat, Runner Up Nashville Inner Journey - Page Awards Finalist - Bluecat semi final Grieving Spell - winner - London Film Awards. Third - Honolulu Ultimate Weapon - Fresh Voices - second place IMDb link... http://www.imdb.com/name/nm7062725/?ref_=tt_ov_wr
Ok i wrote... when god owns a motel... .. ... yeah the one with the predictable ending and over use of ellipsis..
I thought i was being creative puttjng dantes inferno in a motel and yes i should have changed the ending...it was supposed to be modernized which is why i didnt use all the characters from the poem as michael pointed out.. i also wanted to keep it under budget
Thanks gotta go back to work.. the joys of being an electrician in a storm
But why did you have your male character butt ass nude the entire script?.
As general advice to each and every writer in the world, if you're gong to have nude characters, for my sake, please make them female and sexy as Hell.
What happened was I started writing a script and when I was 6 pages in, on Friday afternoon, I decided to go with another idea. So I backtracked all the way to the sex scene and started over. Both stories had the same characters so it worked out. The problem is that I completely forgot to put clothes on them.
I also think a lot of people didn't understand the ending. The last 2 pages were written with 15 minutes left to submit so I had to rush it (and it showed). The original idea was that Gabriel was not an angel at all but an agent from hell sent to give the couple their final placement test. If they gave up their lives, they'd go to heaven and if they gave up the baby's they'd go to hell.
Hell in this case turns out to be being stuck with each other for all eternity in a dumpy motel in the middle of a hurricane.
It didn't come off clearly in the script, so in the end, that is not what I expect anyone to interpret it as.
Turns out you and I had similar ideas for this, Jeff. =D
'Artist' is not a term you should use to refer to yourself. Let others, and your work, do it for you.
Turns out you and I had similar ideas for this, Jeff. =D
Yes, we did. Maybe I should have had Kimmie May get naked and do some jigs with Lew?
You did good, Felipe, especially if it was as rushed as you said. I know how that feels as you see time slipping away and you know you have to somehow bring everything to a conclusion.
That one's mine. The feedback was spot on, I was too ambitious with it and didn't have the full week to work it all out, but I'm glad a few of you sees the potential at least.
I voted for One of God's Special Children as well, not really surprised to learn Jeff wrote it. Great stuff!
I also voted for Lost In The Storm and Procella. Lots of potential in those as well.
Big reveal time here! Here is the reason for the October 2012 OWC and it is also the reason why I could not submit my entry.
A while ago, on a Friday night, I was chatting with Michael Cornetto on Skype. As usual, like a good friend, he sat through and listened to my drunken ramblings and I don't remember exactly how this came about, but that is when we came up with this idea. I had just finished shooting TTD and I swore that I would never shoot another film again. mostly because I really hate the production part of it. especially pre-production. we came up with this idea, that maybe we could coproduce a film. Michael would do most of the stuff that I hate and I would shoot the film here in Florida. We came up with the idea of asking people from SS to write short stories that we would weave together into a feature. Then we came up with the idea of doing it in a rundown motel. after having some issues with the difficult locations I had chosen for TTD, I wanted it to be in a contained area where I could have better control over the environment. especially sound and lighting. since I am also funding this myself, it had to be rather low budget. We asked Don what he thought and he thought it was a great idea. So, there you have it.
we know this challenge was hard, but now you know why. we will meet this weekend and discussed the scripts that we are interested in. Hopefully, now you also understand why we were looking at the scripts differently than the average reader. We had to look for scripts that would fit our purposes, not necessarily scripts that won the popular vote. when we decide which scripts we are interested in, we will contact the writers.
And, if you thought I was kidding about my mime and the puppet story, you were wrong. I did write that script and I will post it soon and hope to get feedback on it. Michael has not read it yet, so there is a good possibility that he hates it.
Anyway, thank you all for participating. I think all of you did a great job on such a short notice with such a difficult challenge.
If you have any questions regarding our plans for the feature film, feel free to ask here.
Big reveal time here! Here is the reason for the October 2012 OWC and it is also the reason why I could not submit my entry.
A while ago, on a Friday night, I was chatting with Michael Cornetto on Skype. As usual, like a good friend, he sat through and listened to my drunken ramblings and I don't remember exactly how this came about, but that is when we came up with this idea. I had just finished shooting TTD and I swore that I would never shoot another film again. mostly because I really hate the production part of it. especially pre-production. we came up with this idea, that maybe we could coproduce a film. Michael would do most of the stuff that I hate and I would shoot the film here in Florida. We came up with the idea of asking people from SS to write short stories that we would weave together into a feature. Then we came up with the idea of doing it in a rundown motel. after having some issues with the difficult locations I had chosen for TTD, I wanted it to be in a contained area where I could have better control over the environment. especially sound and lighting. since I am also funding this myself, it had to be rather low budget. We asked Don what he thought and he thought it was a great idea. So, there you have it.
we know this challenge was hard, but now you know why. we will meet this weekend and discussed the scripts that we are interested in. Hopefully, now you also understand why we were looking at the scripts differently than the average reader. We had to look for scripts that would fit our purposes, not necessarily scripts that won the popular vote. when we decide which scripts we are interested in, we will contact the writers.
And, if you thought I was kidding about my mime and the puppet story, you were wrong. I did write that script and I will post it soon and hope to get feedback on it. Michael has not read it yet, so there is a good possibility that he hates it.
Anyway, thank you all for participating. I think all of you did a great job on such a short notice with such a difficult challenge.
If you have any questions regarding our plans for the feature film, feel free to ask here.
I love it.
Awesome idea and it made for a difficult but very interesting OWC.
Really cool idea, Michael and Pia. Might I ask where you shoot in Florida? I live in Titusville and it's weird to see another person in the good ole Sunshine State.
Be sure to read the review!! The pic at the beginning of this thread is the actual place.
Btw, my first ever solo short was last year at Halloween. I have come, if not a long way, but at least some way from that by now. https://vimeo.com/31068950
Well, as long as we're all revealing our scripts, I wrote The Cycle (like Coop correctly guessed). Can understand the comments, after the first 5 pages I got lazy and typed the first thing that came to my head. A few days later I realized the OWC is due tomorrow so I posted what I had.
Great job, everyone. I loved Skiptrace as well as One of God's Special Children.
Pretty cool idea. What was with the supernatural backstory element, though? Or even the choice between good and evil? Most of these scripts could've been better if not for that. And they would still be confined to a run down motel.
Pretty cool idea. What was with the supernatural backstory element, though?
The idea was to have a common theme that ran through them. So that very different stories would have an something in their structure that made them feel like they belong together on some level.
That is gonna be quite the undertaking to assemble a feature from 10-12 of these scripts. Idea: Madame Putz tackles Gabriel from "Now Lie In It" in the parking lot and steals lil Satan back to her room. Then Robert from the Cycle appears out of the bathroom with some fresh steaks.
Cornie, I swear to God I did not write Cowboy Sam. I wish I did, but I honestly did not.
Maybe not you but it was definitely written by a regular. It just has that feel about it where it is intentionally bad. The type of thing only someone who's familiar with the way things operate around here would know...
I don't remember saying anything about Christmas... I remember having a pre-Halloween screening for TTD, but that had to take a backseat due to a wedding and an assignment script.
I don't remember saying anything about Christmas... I remember having a pre-Halloween screening for TTD, but that had to take a backseat due to a wedding and an assignment script.
Yeah, so now I have to pay a fee to change my ticket I bought for the premier at the Hippo. Damnit!!!!
I really hate the production part of it. especially pre-production. .... We didn't use anyone!...
Technically, Ray might feel a little used. Afterall, he has already done all your pre-production work for you. :-)
This is a neat idea, though, Pia and Michael.
And Pia, I do agree with what you said about 'Bad Juju'. I think that one really had the best idea, and I really really loved the beginning. I would've definately voted for it if I feel it didn't trail off at the end like it did.
Cinemachado. You did 'Now Lie In It'? Excellent work. Yours definately had the greatest atmosphere. I was SO close to voting it over 'Damages'. However, I feel 'Damages' had a little more of a complete ending. 'Now Lie In It' ultimately just felt a little incomplete, like something was missing, and it was only at the end. I think you'll have an amazing story after the rewrite.
And since we're all owning up, mine was 'Corpus Christi'. I knew I was going to get slammed for the hymen still being intact after giving birth plothole, and I had my defense already. Since it was a modern story, he was going to be born C-Section.
But in Felippe's comment, I think he filled my plothole in for me. (I thought it was the most hilarious thing I've read in a while), he mentioned how 'I guess Jesus could've touched and healed it as he was being born.'
And it wasn't exactly a retelling of a Bible story, either, although, of course, because it was Christ, I had to incorporate things from the Bible, though. It was an interpretation (and not the most popular interpretation, either) of a hymn written in the early 1500's, entitled 'Corpus Christi Carol'. (Some people might recognize it most popularly from Jeff Buckley, who covered it on his album.) I'll explain it more in the thread later, though.
That just happened to be a strange, wonderful coincidence. (It also means 'The Body of Christ' in Latin.) Incidently, when I was a child, we stayed at a motel in Corpus Christi, and the photo Don posted, reminded me of that motel. (That's why my motel is also on the beach.) Because of the palm trees, I kind of assumed the beach was right across the street from the motel in the pic.
One point to note with this competition is that they have opened it up to other film makers. Just a thought if it proves too much?
A script i wrote for that reached the long list but alas not the final fifty.
I assume you intend to film the short scripts and make this into a feature but combining them rather than putting into one single feature? Love to hear your current thinking.
One final point, if you do proceed, remember to get the donate button out - must be a lot of cost involved.
The Elevator Most Belonging To Alice - Semi Final Bluecat, Runner Up Nashville Inner Journey - Page Awards Finalist - Bluecat semi final Grieving Spell - winner - London Film Awards. Third - Honolulu Ultimate Weapon - Fresh Voices - second place IMDb link... http://www.imdb.com/name/nm7062725/?ref_=tt_ov_wr
I think our plans was to take the shorts and then Michael and I would write the stuff that ties them all together. In other words, it would be a feature script rather than several shorts.
My idea for filming this would be to hopefully do each short over one weekend each. That way works better for not just myself, but the actors too than shooting for two weeks straight.
When it comes to "using" SS members, I think Michael and I both think that it's more fun to involve people from here in any way we can rather go out on our own. At least that's how I feel and that's one reason I decided to shoot TTD. Which turned out to be a very ambitious project. More so than I had thought, for sure.
I think our plans was to take the shorts and then Michael and I would write the stuff that ties them all together. In other words, it would be a feature script rather than several shorts. D
Now that sounds like a challenge. Are you sure that's worth it, trying to bring together various different scripts? I don't want to be negative but that seems really hard and could possibly be disjointed?
On the other hand, I would love to see how you do it. Much to learn.
The Elevator Most Belonging To Alice - Semi Final Bluecat, Runner Up Nashville Inner Journey - Page Awards Finalist - Bluecat semi final Grieving Spell - winner - London Film Awards. Third - Honolulu Ultimate Weapon - Fresh Voices - second place IMDb link... http://www.imdb.com/name/nm7062725/?ref_=tt_ov_wr
Ran across a article with a small relevant blurb regarding budgets for SAG actors. http://m.movies.com/movie-news/noah-segan-interview/10233 "... A lot of people don't realize that there are very common, heavily used SAG contracts called the Ultra-low Budget Filmage, which is movies under $200,000. A lot of the Fantastic Fest movies are made under that contract. That allows me to work for $100 a day, and usually I'm working for 12 hours. The average day in a movie starts at about 12 hours. So usually I'm working 12 to 18 hours a day.
... The minimum for an Ultra-low Budget Filmage, which is these days a lot of indies, now that technology has gotten to the point where we can do so much, you can make a movie for a hundred grand and you can pay your actors $100 a day. And that day is a very long day."