Nicely written but lacked horror. The challenge was to write horror and this comes off as a comedy. If the challenge was to write a comedy this would have succeeded because it's quite funny in some parts. Talking heads made it a fast read but the story never really got off the ground. Entertaining to say the least but wrong genre.

Congrats in completing the OWC.

This one didn't really work for me. No horror whatsoever. Modern witches, yes, but all they do is sitting around a boardroom table talking about tv shows, movies, actors and food. I did like the frog at the end though.

Obviously not horror. The idea is okay, more of a skit than a story. All dialog and everyone sounds the same. Maybe something that could be played out on stage?

Nice job completing something but it didn't hit the parameters of the challenge.

Okay, there is a LOT going on in this one.  This didn't meet the challenge as overtly, but there is still an unknown factor that looms around it.

First off, this reads like TV -- dialogue heavy with few passages for setup.  I've must say aside from the challenge, the writers idea has a TON of potential for feature length or TV series IMO.  Probably because it is something I'd watch.  The premise for this can easily be a greater focus, so props on creativity here.

As far as meeting the criteria for modern witches, this excels.  Although the dialogue tended to stray and the pacing was clunky...the bare bones premise of this can be a gold mine of ideas.

The horror aspect came from the bizarre trance Rick was in at the end, and what blew it for me was when he turned into a toad.  It really had a creepy, psychological string to it and the toad made it over the top.

I thought it was humorous that the characters themselves were telling each other the dialogue in this script was drawn out.  I suggest cutting this down, focus on the drive, and working this into something special!

Oh yeah...there were some typos.

Johnny

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Non-native speaker – take it or leave it.


The P.R. meeting

Hello!

I printed that one out a few days ago, cause I wanted to read it away. When I saw the I-pages I didn't start reading. I took it now to relax the eyes from the laptop-display.
I read it through. I don't know if this entry is honest, so, aahh, I just don't know. I'm interested what you were trying here. Some cool info about films, a bit controversial in concept.
I will leave that way...

Weighted Matrix: https://docs.google.com/spread.....TTUE&usp=sharing

Producer's Notes: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1NNGaVlrrpkjIfp-BRGjpTE03W1e5lZuRceJ3wQECYaI/edit?usp=sharing

8. The P.R. Meeting by Five - Horror - A group of witches review a proposal from a public relations agency to improve their image.
Brief - Executive witches decide between changing public perception or growing their power.

Location(s)  - Executive board room
Cast - 8
Protagonist(s)  -  
RICK, 40s, executive?
LILITH, ??, executive?
MURIEL, ??, dark-haired and heavy set
ESMERELDA, ??, executive?
JEZEBEL, ??, executive?
MIRANDA, 30s, executive?
WILLOW, 20s, executive?
CASSANDRA, ??, dressed all in black, dark penetrating eyes
Genre & Marketability - Supernatural Drama. I dunno what the shorts watching audience is supposed to walk away from this thinking. Clearly not favorable to the modern witch and witchcraft community.
Comments  -  Turn off your screenwriting program's mores and continued's feature. Characters are almost always introduced in an action line before their dialog with a ballpark age and very brief description. The dialog is kinda sorta fine, but my patience for it is greater than most. I really liked where this was going until what was modern witchcraft took a hard left turn into classical witchcraft and what happened then is just abrupt and incomplete. Story could have been equally achieved with just Rick, Lilith, Esmerelda, and Cassandra; save on casting. It is economical, though. But this isn't horror.
Script format - fair.
Final word - Nice, but missable.

$500 - 1,000     Lo/Hi Estimated Budget Range
/ 7.5          Screenplay Pages
= $67 - 133     Estimated Cost Per Screen Minute

Adherence to Given Criteria:
Modern Witches and/or Warlocks - Eh... kinda sorta
Horror - Nope, not really

I didn't check the reviews yet. So i may be way off on my final interpretaion. I may be reading too much into this short. I do that. Hehehe.

So... I really liked your characters and dialogue right away. There are some interesting sociological/political views. It was interesting to see your spin on modern witches as marketing executives. Some of these elements reminded me  of early TRUE BLOOD.  A few good jokes work. I liked the Sandra Bullock stuff. And the line: "I liked you better when you weren't skinny and didn't talk." I liked how used humour to discuss society's views.

You did a great job of fulfilling the modern aspects, but I feel this lacked horror. Powers are used for transformation which made for a good ending. I liked the symbolism. It said the witches are in control, but more importantly, for me, the suit on the water symbolized society floating on nature. Or our modern ideals on the surface of instinct driven pleasures. Maybe I'm off, but I love deciphering imagery. Cudos there. Loved it.