Quoted from Dreamscale Samhain may well originally have been a Celtic Holiday that marked the end of the harvest season,  but in modern times, it's much more than that to Pagans and Witches.

Hey Jeff,

Since I think I was the first to set this train out of the station let me clarify -

As Gaeilge (In Irish) the names of the months of the year are as follows:

January = Eanáir (pron: an-aw-irr)

February = Feabhra (feow-rah)

March = Márta (mawr-thah)

April = Aibreán (ab-rawn)

May = Bealtaine (bahl-theh-neh)

June = Meitheamh (meh-huv)

July = Iúil (oo-il)

August = Lúnasa (loo-nah-sah)

September = Meán Fomhair (mahn foh-ir)

October = Deireadh Fomhair (djeh-reh foh-ir)

November = Samhain (sow (as in cow) -in)

December = Nollaig (null-ig)

Samhain may indeed be utilized as a word by sub cultures or groups to celebrate certain events on their calendar, but it is still a very prominent word in the Gaeltacht (Irish speaking parts of Ireland) and still celebrated as a festival in Ireland.

Just thought I'd clarify what I meant.

Kind regards,

Eoin

Don't fuck with the Irish Jeff

Mark

Thanks, you Irish blokes!  No, I don't want to fuck with the Irish...or the Bulgarians, or even the Romanians.

But, the point is that Samhain has taken on a different meaning and is definitely "celebrated" by neopagans, witches, Wiccans, etc.

Yeah, as much as I'd have liked some extra ammunition to fire... Samhain is celebrated by modern-day Pagans. It's like a witches New Year type of celebration. Not sure if sex would have come into the original celebrations or not. More inclined to be feasting and such. Logical... to survive the winter with excess body fat.

Don't get us started on Kwanzaa
It all happened in a small bar in Cobh County Cork by an African Irish pagan jew...true story  



Mark

Samhain a big party with eats and drinks and (in the old days) sacrifices to give thanks to the gods to a good harvest.  This script... is not about that.

At all.

I have friends who celebrate Samhain.  To them, it's like Mardi Gras.


Phil

Quoted from dogglebe Samhain a big party with eats and drinks and (in the old days) sacrifices to give thanks to the gods to a good harvest.  This script... is not about that. At all. I have friends who celebrate Samhain.  To them, it's like Mardi Gras.Phil

Phil, as I stated, I took "liberties" with how this certain coven of witches "celebrates" Samhain, and if that doesn't work for you, my apologies.

This is a work of fiction, and last time I checked, that means anything goes.  Not sure why you feel the need to be so steadfast on this topic.

As you'll soon see, when I post my "notes" on how this script came to be, etc, the original draft inlcuded much mor detail and goings on at the actual festival, and it was all partying down and "good times".

Ok, everyone, I first of all want to thank all who read and provided feedback on my OWC entry.  As I always say and mean 100%, any and all feedback, positive or negative, is much appreciated, so thank you.

IMO, this was a great challenge, as it was extremely open ended.  BUT, that also creates problems, and IMO, actually makes for a more challenging OWC in some ways.  You’d think that since we only had several parameters (horror, witches/warlocks, modern times, and 6-10 pages) that each entry would definitely be within those parameters, but of course that was not the case.  I certainly attempted to meet the requirements and was very surprised that some said my entry appeared to be a pisser, while others questioned the horror elements.

Once we received our marching orders, I set out to come up with an entertaining concept.  Nothing really came to me, though, and it wasn’t until Thursday that I decided on the bare bones of my story.  I knew I wanted an American Protag in a foreign country, kind of fish out of water setup, so I started researching potential settings, as well as “modern witchcraft”.

I settled on Bulgaria, and its capital, Sofia, as I liked the “look” of the city and found it had a number of respected universities, where my Protag could be an Exchange Student. I also wanted things to start in a strip club, and I found Sofia had several, and settled on Club Chervenoto, which translates to “The Red”, which I liked.  Sofia is a cool city, as it is set at the base of a mountain, has cool features and unique landscapes.  The city of Pernik is also in Bulgaria.  I chose this because of the cool landscape features (caves, river systems, and giant boulders strewn about) it has…but, due to page length, all of this had to be cut out.

So, the first thing I want to make clear is that the entire script takes place in Bulgaria, not Romania.  The title comes from a line from Romanian Anastasiya, and is also a tongue in cheek play on the old sitcom, “Love, American Style”, which suggests, hopefully, at least, a playful take on the subject matter.

Once I got going and was happy with my settings, characters, and story, things rambled right along nicely, but I made a major mistake in not really “reading” the challenge requirements closely enough.  I “assumed” the page max was 12, as it usually is for these OWC’s.  I ended things up with what I thought would require approximately 20 lines to be cut, but in reality, I had to cut 2 ½ whole pages and a lot was lost because of that, including James’ “character” and personality (including his “virginal” status), the fact that Rayna was also a stripper at the club, a lot of action taking place at the actual Samhain festival, before things go awry, and the ending.

I decided to keep James’ phone conversation with his Dad at the beginning, vs. some dialogue with Grigor about him and Rayna’s situation, and in retrospect, that was probably a mistake, but I wanted it to be clear that James is a “good guy”, who is close with his parents, as well as your nonstandard strip club goer.

I wasn’t thrilled with the final draft, but thought it would definitely work and was solid enough.  As I started reading the other entries, I began to like mine much more, as I was shocked at the quality and complete lack of attention to the parameters of many of the first 20 or so I attempted to read.  As reviews started coming in on mine, I was a little surprised at the disdain and general lack of enjoyment it received.

I’m not going to address all the various questions, complaints, and comments, but I will throw out some comments that may clear a few things up as well as give detail as to why certain things were left in the script, etc.

A lot of peeps had issues with the dialogue and the dialect.  I think both are hit and miss, in that some will like it and some will not, even when it’s well done.  The Eastern European broken English worked for me, but I understand why it didn’t for others.  Rayna was supposed to come off as a goofy babe, and I tried to give her some character with her goofy little sayings of “You get me?”.  James’ dialogue was admittedly rather weak, as was his entire character, but a lot of him got cut out, which was a mistake.

I’m usually guilty as charged In terms of liking and writing chatty scripts, and this one does contain a bunch up front.  When writing chatty scenes, I always try and make sure it’s not a static scene, and that things of a visual nature are taking place while the chit chat takes place.  For me, a Bulgarian strip club provides some nice visuals.  This is also where Anastasiya’s intro takes place and watching a scary sexy Romanian babe strip to “Black #1” will work every time – if you’re not familiar with the song, check it out on youtube, as it’s quite scary and cool.  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vFwYJYl5GUQ

Other peeps took issue with James bringing a “real” machete to the party.  I’m not sure why this even came up, as no one would have known if he hadn’t had to use it.  And, I’d imagine that buying a real machete in Bulgaria would be easier than buying a fake one.  There was also some dialogue between James and Rayna that got cut about this.

The Samhain festival has been discussed in earlier posts, but I do want to make it clear the finished version here had a lot cut from it.  The “disappearing cars” from the lot remained, by my oversight, and originally, the festival goers also disappeared for the most part, as in, it wasn’t what it appeared to be.

When James and Rayna drink the “potion”, the intent was that it altered their reality and not that everyone turned into creatures.  A few lines were cut here and what remained definitely was unclear.

As to the over the top, cheese of a guy slicing and dicing a head, an arm, and a leg, all I can say is that the intent was a fun take on horror, while still keeping things semi-real and dark overall.  IMO, horror is usually overly gory and involves acts that wouldn’t and physically couldn’t really take place in real life.  In fact, I think you can watch just about any action/adventure/horror movie and see uncountable acts by characters that would never be reality. It’s the movies, peeps…c’mon now!

The end was rushed and condensed and I agree it didn’t play out the way I had envisioned it.  The dialogue especially was too on the nose and full of exposition, hoping to fill in for all the missing action I had to cut out.  I actually still really like the very end and the image of Ana going to James with the “gelatinous substance”, but her dialogue kind of killed the effect, I think.  I actually like the part about, “I get you hard now, yes?”  But, the next line could probably be cut.  Originally, there was a comment from her to the point of, “You big boy, yes?  Looks like Rayna missed out“…or something to that affect.

So, there you have it. It is what it is, and I’m sorry so many were disappointed or downright furious with what they read.  You can never please ‘em all, but damnit, I’ll always try!

Thanks for reading and if anyone wants more info on the feedback I provided on their script, just send me a PM.

Been to many a Samhain celebration ...I've seen it done many ways over the years.

I had no idea who wrote when I reviewed...my review probably reflects the fact that the Patriots had just lost on a bullshyte call to the Jets in overtime, so I was not very patient. I apologize for that.

Quoted from KevinLenihan I had no idea who wrote when I reviewed...my review probably reflects the fact that the Patriots had just lost on a bullshyte call to the Jets in overtime, so I was not very patient. I apologize for that.

KEV...when you gonna pick my picks for this week's pool? Did you get the spread man?

Posting this review before reading other posts.

Okay, so seductive dancers. I'm thinkin this is the Titty Twister and I'm expecting Salma Hayek with a snake. So needless to say this reminded me of FROM DUSK TIL DAWN... meets HOSTEL. I like those, so it's not a diss. Haha.

I liked that you included some hitorical references like Sabbat and the Old One. Shows you did homework and you care about making the world based on some sort of reality. I don't know if I buy the guy as a virgin at that age. And if so wouldn't he be, uh, overly excited to see the dancers.

I found this exciting,  but it didn't fully deliver. I guess I was expecting more action like DUSK. Maybe he could fight his way out or something. Or fight until subdued.  Maybe the potion could have other effects. This is horror, so why not go all out. Throw in a demonic hallucination, maybe even linking to his virginity.

The ending was dark and poetic. Exciting horror fun. Could have delivered more. And great title!

Don't sweat it, Jeff.  I never once thought of it as a pisser, but I'll be honest and say I didn't read the entire thing.  Just wasn't my cup of tea.

Quoted from Guest Don't sweat it, Jeff.  I never once thought of it as a pisser, but I'll be honest and say I didn't read the entire thing.  Just wasn't my cup of tea.

Reap, read the entire thing now, then, Damnit!  Really?

Thanks for the late comments guys and gals.  I do appreciate all comments.  I honestly do.  Thank you.

Kev, I may have reviewed yours after another Rams debacle, so I definitely understand.  Your Red Sox won the Series, your Pats are looking quite good even with the problems they have, but your Celts...oh boy...kind of like my Lake Show.  LOL!

Celts are right on schedule! All we want is the lottery pick! Lakers better trade Kobi so they can make sure they're in the lottery...though not sure who wants Kobi right now.