Writer,

Good work. There's a sweetness to this story that I like a lot, but I feel a little clean up is necessary. Not that three pages is long by any means, but a quick trim to get to the meat (pun intended) of this one will make it read that much better. Personally, I'd eliminate the guy who tries to stop him and just go with three characters. Showing seniors upset by things like length adds humanity, as well as a touch of comedy. Overall, well done!

Steve

I like this better now that I've come back to it.

Also, I picked up what I assume is a George Costanza reference at the beginning (though it was an aside).

1. I think you need a tad more to establish that this man cannot shake his feelings of inferiority. Men of his  age usually have come to terms with whatever physical shortcomings they think they have, be it height, hairline, etc. Yes, he says he's gone through life with a short dick. But that's not quite enough to make us believe he would try to kill himself. (After all, he just slept with Susan.) P.S. I'd get rid of the word "dick"; it doesn't fit the tone here.

2. The idea that she "didn't mean his penis" is really not believable. If they attempted intercourse but couldn't because he was "too short," and then she says, "It's too short," I don't buy  that she would suddenly be talking about the length of the rope.

Henry

I didn't buy into this one at all. Why would a 78 year old man want to hang himself because another old person tells him his dick is too short? I know that's not what she meant, but that is what he thought, so...  You'd think if he actually was "short" he would know this by now and be used to it. I can't see him at this late stage in life wanting to off himself because of it.

I liked the idea of the rope being used as a means to escape. And, as some others said as well, go with Gary's ending. That was good.  

I'm on board with Gary's suggestion. That was what I thought was going to happen while reading, and I liked that.

The tone is all over for me, especially given some of the word choices in the dialogue. I'm not sure how seriously we're supposed to take a guy who immediately curls up in a fetal position.

To be pedantic, the dick referred to would be classed as 'too small' not 'too short'.  Must be a US thing but it reads odd to me lol.

Humorous little story. Getting sick of the jump rope/noose thing but at least the prop was a valid part of the script

Page numbering is incorrect

Slugs - Always start with the bigger thing, then pare it down from there.

"RETIREMENT HOME - RON'S ROOM"

"Faded wallpaper, worn furniture - it’s a MENORAH, an assisted-living facility for Alzheimer, dementia and sclerosis seniors." - WTF?  This is just a terrible opening description, and on opt of it showing almost nothing and being confusing, the 2nd half is all unfilmable.

Very poor beginning.

Writing is poor throughout, missing words, awkward.  Tone is all over the place and not funny.

Ending is flat and just continues the over all poor quality here.

Not for me at all.

* 1/2

"means to escape the facility" - Really?  Thanks for telling us that.

I liked the ending, it seemed so obvious and yet still unexpected.

I think I would of found it more reasonable if these were young people who worked at the retirement home in the middle of this crazy affair. Its just that 80 year olds and sex don't really add up. Like yeah, of coarse sex doesn't matter, you're really really old, not like they're going to have kids or anything.

Would of enjoyed more colorful language for the term "short dick" since there are so many ways to say that nowadays.

I enjoyed it, thanks.

The old folks talked like they were young. Just my thought. Just my opinion but i thought it was badly written.
My ex said I had a short one, I told her the size is in Dog Years.

Lol what a logline??

P1 Wrong page numbers
first slugline: Main location before Sub location

In case of his deficit, it's a nice characterization that he still feels ashamed like a kid despite his advanced age.

P2 this is very funny:

"He sees Ron with the rope around his neck.

HENRY
Nooo!

He grabs Ron’s feet. Ron tries to push him away. They grapple.

RON
She said my dick was too short.
Maybe after I’m gone she’ll find
herself a long one."

Truly, this could be so over the top funny on screen, seeing that old fellow with a noose around his head while complaining about his short dig like a baby. What a reason for attempting suicide by an elderly gentleman. So bizarre. Awesome.

Bonus points here, writer, bonus points.

Last beat, final punch line could be better.

However, I truly enjoyed the whole self-irony here. The script felt pleasantly light. To me, as it's build-up, even with its absurdity, the theme of elderly people going crazy because of the sex-game feels kind of respectful and sensible toward them. A lot of people tried to take that route but this is how it's done imo. Fine comedy.

Lots of sympathy from my side.  

TOO SHORT

From the start, this reads as if WE have entered a scene hearing only half the conversation. And then drawing the wrong conclusion. It doesn't work that way. Dumb characters hearing only snip-pits of conversation draw stupid conclusions. We're too intelligent for that... right?

The scene opens with Mary looking out the window and saying, "I just won't be able to do it. The thing is too short."  I know she's not talking about Ron's dick.
Maybe have Ron in bed, looking under the covers...

Change some of the scenes as suggested and see what happens. I agree with others, Ron would have to take a fall because of a too-short jump rope.

Can't they just walk out the front door? Do they have to escape via the window?
Well, that's not funny.
I can see Mary and the gang on the grounds outside the facility. Waiting for Ron. And here comes Short-Stack crashing to the ground. The only one who used the second-story window.
Seems like a Seinfeld gag.  I dunno, I always like Seinfeld.