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SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board    Unproduced Screenplay Discussion    Sci Fi and Fantasy Scripts  ›  Job & Schermerhorn's Angels Moderators: bert
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  Author    Job & Schermerhorn's Angels  (currently 2182 views)
Don
Posted: March 19th, 2005, 9:43am Report to Moderator
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So, what are you writing?

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Job & Schermerhorn's Angels by Stanley Heisler - Anime, Fantasy - A Job type character is at the end of his rope, when he meets Angel Schermerhorn, who persuades him to take a celestial journey with a family of angels causing him to sprout wings and turn his life around. - rtf, format


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Don  -  January 2nd, 2006, 6:32pm
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MonetteBooks
Posted: June 26th, 2005, 12:22am Report to Moderator
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Our scripts are very different, though I, too, have a fire that destroyed the home, references to Job, and a supernatural boy that appears.

Your story was highly interesting, but may raise eyebrows where an "angel" has an physical affair with Sam. Of course, it's fantasy, but still you might want to rethink that part. The line between angels/eagles needs to be more distinct.

You had some typos here and there.

All the people that appear the first time (including cops, waiters, etc.) need to be capitalized, since everyone cast will be part of the film's cost.

If there's a way to get rid of all those dots between words and the paragraph markings, it'll read much nicer.

Premise is engaging.
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