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SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board    Unproduced Screenplay Discussion    Sci Fi and Fantasy Scripts  ›  Genesis and Revelation Moderators: bert
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  Author    Genesis and Revelation  (currently 1583 views)
Don
Posted: April 5th, 2010, 5:43pm Report to Moderator
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So, what are you writing?

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Genesis and Revelation by Richard Ashcraft - Sci Fi, Fantasy - Genesis and Revelation have to save the other Biblios from an unknown evil on earth.  But should the pair fail in their mission, they must be returned to Purgatory.  But their only option is failure. 75 pages - doc, format


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Scription
Posted: April 5th, 2010, 7:01pm Report to Moderator
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Failure is an Option, not a choice.

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Not gonna lie, the story made me go "Lolwut?" a little...and then I read it.

Instantly I began wondering why I was chanting the Star Wars theme along with thinking I was imagining Genisis and Revelations as Jedi's.

"God be with you"  - What I was thinking.

Already on Page 8. I love it so far. It's kinda funny, but Im afriad to say so incase it's actually meant to be a serious script.

Page 8: When they're being all "Yo whats up Kings!" (Genesis and Revelations are both "Greatings, Kings") how about you do:

"GENESIS AND REVELATIONS:
Greatings, Kings!"

This way, instead of them doing it individually, it's less-clutters up the script. !

Again, with Kings and "Lammy" how about you do the same thing?


Im sorry, but this is like Bibical Star-Wars...and that's a cool

Im reading on...



Alright. I skimmed through it.

Few things I want to clear up:

I liked it. However, the only thing annoying me a little was the writing.

Writing was good, albeit...if it's bibical, shouldn't they be using bibical words like "thy" and "therefore"?

It should be less American-Slang and instead more bibical and "old-world" I call it.

The plot was a little baffling, mind, but I thought it was worth a read.

I wasn't sure if it was being a serious script, if it was, it was good. I liked it.

When people are talking, could you have it in normal? Instead of being in BOLD?

I found that distracting a little.


Overall, I thought it was worth a read. I liked it, and I'll give it 5 out of 10.

Entertaining and good-fun.


What Am I Working On?
Currently going back and forth with projects. (--) :


Reason why Rainforests are disappearing is because of all of the useless scripts Hollywood wants everyday.
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TheRichcraft
Posted: April 11th, 2010, 9:32pm Report to Moderator
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Scription, GenRev was inspired by Sapphire and Steel, a very unique British sci-fi series with Joanna Lumley and David McCallum in the title roles.  Basically, it is about a psychic detective and her tough bodyguard.  So the plot is a little out there.

The scenes about the greetings were designed to lead to Exodus's temper tantrum.  I've seen a lot of British sitcoms in which chaos is everywhere, but they still insist on "following protocol."  I was making fun of the British upper stiff lip business.

If you think the plot to GenRev was baffling, you should check out Sapphire and Steel from interlibrary loan (ask your local librarian for the DVD series).  The agents appear to be human, but they seem more like aliens, and their origins are wrapped in mystery.

Are you referring to normal print?  I use bold print for both characters, dialogue, and action.  It makes it easier for people to read it.  Or were you referring to something else?  I did use italics for emphasis in some areas.

This script was considered very seriously by the BBC in 2001.  They don't the usual hang-ups about religious programming that we Americans have.  It was finally returned to me three months later after the 9-11 Attack on America.  The BBC sent me a letter stating that they were only going to produce British scripts because the Britons were experiencing a new wave of patriotism after that awful day.

My previous scripts for the BBC, Leo and Virgo and Smoke and Mirror, were rejected very quickly.  (They were also inspired by Sapphire and Steel.)  So I'm very proud that they considered my script for those three months.

Thanks for reading it.  Look out for my Hawkins and Dover episodes in the future.
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