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SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board    Unproduced Screenplay Discussion    Sci Fi and Fantasy Scripts  ›  The Bones Cry Out Moderators: bert
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Don
Posted: December 21st, 2011, 8:04pm Report to Moderator
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So, what are you writing?

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The Bones Cry Out by Gaile - Sci Fi, Fantasy - An anthropologist finds truth, love, and faith when he learns about the unexpected, secret result of a genetic experiment, a child whose existence threatens the scientific status quo of Darwinian theory. - pdf, format


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justwrite
Posted: December 22nd, 2011, 10:38am Report to Moderator
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Hi Gaile, interesting logline.

First 2-3 pages.  
You have an awful lot of CAPS going on in this story.  Is this two different characters or one: YOUNG TEENAGER JONATHAN OZBOURNE.  If one person, then you should probably write it as follows  JONATHAN OZBOURNE (16).  As far as Character names go... my understanding is that they should only be all CAP's  once introduced with dialogue.  Not through out the whole story.

Your Sluglines... the season (summer day) is not a location.   I would remove summer from the slugline.


EXT. - FRENCH COUNTRYSIDE - SUMMER DAY - 1979
EXT.  FRENCH COUNTRYSIDE -  DAY (1979)

You can add summer as part of the description.  Also you don't have to mention 1979 in every slug-line as well.  Now I'm no expert, I've only been into screenwriting since about March of this year... but this is what I've read and have been told thus far...  


"May the Fleas of a Thousand Camels Infest the Crotch of the Person Who Screws Up Your Day and May Their Arms Be Too Short to Scratch"
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