Afterlife Apocalypse by Glenda Victor - Sci Fi, Fantasy - Can Tom, the powerful 50 year old bachelor stop the solar storm that is ravaging earth? His mission - to stop nature in its tracks. Should he fail? What waits beyond is yet to become known to him and his team of lifelong friends and associates. 56 pages - pdf, format

Your logline is not a logline. Also, avoid using names in a logline. Classic amateur mistake...

There's a cast list. No need for the cast list.

Code Credits roll over a beautiful noisy array of thunder and lightning filling the night skies. The lightning is so frequent, it resembles an amazing fireworks display! The night sky looks like an array of apocalypse artwork. The thunder strikes CLAP down harder than average thunder. Instrumental music accompanies this fine display racing through the skies over the city of lights!

Two action blocks, one after the other, that pretty much both say the same thing. As they do say the same thing, and are about the same thing, why are there two separate action blocks? You should be able to say all of that in one sentence.

Code People are seen below running for shelter as the rain starts to settle in along with the thunder and lightning. Some are in a hurry, running in a panic while others are simply enjoying this superb display of nature.

You've done the same thing again in the above. Two blocks to describe one event and, as a result, you again repeat information.

Code Sudden silence, and a large clap of thunder follows the towered building that just got struck by the lightning, and we see a window shatter on the 40th floor and part of the structure collapses.

What building that just got hit? You made no mention of a building being hit by lightning previously. How do we visualise thunder following a building? Is the building trying to run away? Spell out numbers fortieth. Too many 'ands' for your choice of phrasing. No need to tell us what 'we see'. Simply write what we see.

Code The storm becomes more aggressive, then suddenly...

Watch your 'ly' adverbs. They come across as amateur in pro writing, especially when used so willy-nilly. Suddenly is a word that doesn't belong in a screenplay very often. Never say never.

Code A surveillance drone appears out of nowhere!

Really! OMG! That's amazeballs! Don't use exclamation points in action.

Code Totally out of control due to lack of signal from this massive storm taking place.

Just write out of control. Maybe SHOW the rain hitting and fizzing the electronics or something. Never just tell the reader what is. You have to show what is.