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SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board    Unproduced Screenplay Discussion    Sci Fi and Fantasy Scripts  ›  The Power Moderators: bert
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Don
Posted: April 26th, 2015, 8:35am Report to Moderator
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So, what are you writing?

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The Power by Kevin Doy Burton - Sci Fi - A man is host to an entity not of this world that feeds off of negative emotions. 95 pages - pdf, format


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AdamV
Posted: April 28th, 2015, 5:46pm Report to Moderator
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just started reading..i notice you're writing in past tense like..."barry was staring out into space..."
screenplays are written in the present tense, for the purpose of making the reader feel like hes right there watching the movie. You should say "barry is staring out into space.." or "barry stares out into space.." you started off writing in present tense and then you switchover to past tense when you start talking about what barry is doing. Just a small note. I'm going to keep reading now...
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KevinS
Posted: May 1st, 2015, 8:39am Report to Moderator
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Everyone has a story to tell.

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I got about 4 pages in and had to stop only because the formatting was hard to follow.  The internet is a wonderful tool to learn how to format certain types of scripts, so take advantage of it.  There are also tons of books on formatting.  Story wise, from what I could understand, it did capture my attention.  I'm sure you have a good story here, but you need to fix the formatting.  
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TonyDionisio
Posted: May 1st, 2015, 11:16am Report to Moderator
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Damnit, get to the point!

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"Jet ran towards Brady and Tom." - This made me think of Gisele Bundchen for some reason. I dunno why
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HenryTj
Posted: June 15th, 2015, 2:50am Report to Moderator
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"Barry stares..." is better than "Barry is staring..." The auxilary verb "is" weakens the verb "stare."
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