The Stone Eclipse by Brandon Hatch - Sci Fi, Fantasy - When Mother Nature is killed and her healing pearl is stolen, her daughter must gather up her friends and enter into the Realm of Dreams itself to attempt to steal it back.  125 pages - pdf format

Writer interested in feedback on this work

Hi there - Reading the first 10 pages, I felt it started well enough but once the dream realm began I really struggled to follow the action. It was fast moving, with a number of characters introduced quickly - Which to be fair makes sense in that narrative, but on paper is a tough read. A lot of text. Theres a lot to take in.

Look - This might be a flaw on my part, lacking the required attention, others may well follow with no issue. Though I would say, I don't think it's the readers job to be at studious attention, more the writers, to make the script as simple to read as possible.

I don't mean to be negative, I can imagine you have put a lot of work into this. The concept actually looks exciting and there's buckets of imagination here. It was just a difficult read for me.

Keep writing though, and embrace the joy of the re-write. Can be very rewarding!