This is the one everyone's talking about. I get why. It's excellent, except for the attempt at horror. The only way the horror would work here is if it was directed at Hayley, or if you spent a lot more time getting us to like Dwight. There is no tension at all because it's a bobblehead.

I could see this easily getting made if you keep with the comedy. It sets up a wonderful world where people and bobbleheads coexist, but there are problems with it. It's also a great allegory for this type of relationship.

Strong writing, great comedy, an okay story as written but the potential for much more.

One of my favourite scripts of the WT.  To me the comedy was nailed, horror on point.  The ending good.  I can’t fault it.

I don't really count this as horror, myself. Won't score it down because of it, so no worries. But, I just don't see the fusion.

That said, this was very well written. Exactly how action blocks should look and read. As a result, it's got great flow.

A few of the lines felt out of place. Ex: the doc commenting on her top. But, overall, it worked.

I can't decide if I like Dwight talking. I kind of like him just nodding through the whole thing. It would give us a sense of what she feels if every single action from him is exactly the same: a nod. I think we, the audience, would be slightly irritated by the end... which would be a great reaction.

I love the concept. Woman gets angry at husband for always agreeing with her. You played that out well. I also like the touch that explains that's what she needed when they first started dating. How many people choose mates for reasons just like that... and see their relationship fall apart when they no longer need the same things? Excellent bit of humanity.

Good job!

Gotta admit, I laughed at the end stinger.

The writing here is solid enough, but this is pure comedy. No action or horror IMO.

Still, a good effort. Think I might know who wrote this one.

Hi Writer,

Well written, funny and with a clever premise.

The horror is light, but I like how you created tension with:

Quoted Text HAYLEY But you do deserve it, don't you, Dwight?

That was a good laugh.

I don't have much left to say. I enjoyed it for what it is.

It'd be easy to film. Hope it gets made.

Good job,
David

Horror is a genre of speculative fiction which is intended to frighten, scare, disgust, or startle its readers by inducing feelings of horror and terror. Literary historian J. A. Cuddon defined the horror story as "a piece of fiction in prose of variable length... which shocks, or even frightens the reader, or perhaps induces a feeling of repulsion or loathing". - from Wiki

Violently murdering her husband and the doctor is fairly startling, maybe even shocking... but this is a horror comedy so you're not supposed to take it seriously.

The irony of replacing a yes-man husband for a dildo is also noteworthy.

Funny. But why was Hayley seeking help from a bobble? She must know by now that all they're good for is agreeing with you.

Quoted from Spqr Funny. But why was Hayley seeking help from a bobble? She must know by now that all they're good for is agreeing with you.

That was the point. She married someone that always agreed with her, like a bobblehead, but then she outgrew that.

Quoted from leitskev That was the point. She married someone that always agreed with her, like a bobblehead, but then she outgrew that.

His point is a fair one.

We have a fantasy world where bobbleheads clearly exist and are accepted.

All they can do is agree.

So why would anyone go to  see a bobblehead psychiatrist when you already know that all they can do is agree?

I mean, it's just a one gag script, so we can't really take it too seriously, but still, the central plot/premise makes little sense.

If I had a script in this thing, I'd likely agree. However, the story is not meant to be taken seriously at all. Meaning that the Bobbleheads are merely symbolic of a certain type of man. That the psychiatrist happened to be of that type of man too is coincidental within the story framework. I don't think all men are Bobbleheads. Sometimes, one just gets unlucky and meets two at once... and this can be enough to drive a woman to murder... and carve them into dildos.

I can't say it better than Dustin here, so I'll just say ditto.

Last one of the bunch...did I save a good one for my last read?  Let's see...

And, once again, we open with the same generic Slug.  Argh!!!

"Drums her fingers on the arm rest. Clearly annoyed." - Lose the period and connect these two ideas with a comma.

Hmmm, 2 real bobbleheads...like life sized?

Hmmm.  I read the feedback and seems like most of everyone loves this.  I wish I could agree, but I can't.

I see the humor here for sure, and I see the absurdity, and absurdity is usually funny.  For me, it's not very funny.

I think it's a great idea, and there's real thought that went into this, as bobbleheads are used in a way that only bobleheads could be used, but for me, it's missing something...or alot of things.

Hard for me to see any horror here, but I guess the horror is just plain comedy, which I guess meets the challenge.

Story - It's OK.  There is story here and I appreciate that.

Characters - Yeah, these are definite characters and effective characters for what they're supposed to be.

Dialogue - It's good.  It's funny.

Prose - Good.

Criteria - I'll give it a Y.

All in all, probably the best entry, as it's memorable and thought went into it.  Personally, I don't love it, but I'll give kudos where they're due, and I think they're due here.

Just Stop

almost a minus for title not in courier 12 pt but hell the logline was truly all right

okay… well, it's far too abstract for my taste. The presentation was very tidy though.

As a story execution, it just feels you had the necessity to go with something, anything, and I even appreciate you accomplished a script. 72 hours and we all had to run. On a positive note, it was also quite honest to keep the line of the script and not do fancy things to make it a wannabe and jump in other areas to try more, when the basement just wasn't given - Kind of taken back and humble of you --- Solid but not truly substantial.

Goofy comedy written well, but if these are dolls then there is no horror element. If she's hallucinating and they're really human, then the end result of the killing would... not suit her needs.

Really decent writing with this one. Enjoyed the read but questioned the bobble-doc. Another off the wall and nonsensical story except this one worked for me. The ending was the clincher, otherwise it would've just been meh. Good work, writer.