First script for me. Challenge, fusion, psychiatrist office and bobblehead.

Fusion: Two or more things cuming together.

No logline, so going in cold.

Pun-Li. Would be funny if there are some puns in this...

If his "Johnson" is covered, how do we know it's erect?

Kind of crude, but I'm guessing comedy is one of the genres being fused.

Big game or PETA nightmare. Funny.

Entrance into the lounge...

Rifles sit? I don't know. Seems like an odd word choice, but what do I know.

Finished...

Don't think I quite got this one. There was some comedy, but I fail to pick the second one. Action? There was no horror IMO. Certainly no thriller. Could've been drama with some more backstory and/or emotional stuff.

Bobbleheads everywhere, so check. Psychiatrist's office, yes, but felt a bit forced in. Maybe the page limitations made it seem so.

Pun's dialogue was great. The Doc's and Monty's were okay.

I guess my thoughts on this is that I would've liked to feel a little more for Pun. Easily done with some backstory or such. Currently, she comes off sort of cartoony. Tap into some of that deep emotional stuff anime is capable of and ditch the shallow one you have right now.

Not enough info on Johnson to hate him or have any other feelings for him.

Monty is just a bland out of nowhere unmemorable character. Gimp suit and fangs does not alone make him a memorable character. Nor does he make sense. Btw, I could be wrong, but isn't a person in a gimp suit usually a submissive person? If so, it doesn't work with him having fangs and attacking her. I'm old and not up to speed on these things. I prefer the old days when fun was part of the game.

In short, this was ok, but I'm not going to encourage you develop this into a feature.  

So, yeah, this is mine, and it seems like pretty much everyone knew that.  I'm not sure, as I really tried to disguise my writing, but maybe it was the subject matter, maybe it was the delivery, maybe it was a number o things.

I usually...almost always, thank everyone for the read and feedback, but I'm not going to do that here.  I do appreciate the reads and the feedback that was meant to help, but the majority here just really attacked me here, calling it racist, sexist, offensive, etc.

When you say that about the writer, you most likely think the writer is those things, which is so far from the truth, it's redonkulous.

I did sit down to write with 3 hours to go, and with 4 minutes left, I didn't have a title or logline and actually struggled to even remember how to get to my title page.

I was actually happy with it, but it was extremely rushed and in parts, it definitely shows.

What irks me is that somehow, you all gave me extremely low scores in all 5 categories, which is just a mystery to me.

If you actually took any time to read the script, there is a story here, whether you liked it or not, I understand, but it wasn't a complete pisser with no logic behind it.

Characters?  Really?  Are there not 1 or even 2 of the most memorable charterers in the batch?

Dialogue?  Really?  No memorable dialogue?  

Prose?  C'mon...sure it was rushed and had some mistakes, but compared to the other 19?  This was poorly written?

Criteria - You nixed me 5 free points?  How? No comedy?  It was basically all comedy.  Horror?  None there?  Man...just not happy about this.

I'll soldier on, though, and you never know...