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SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board    Screenwriting Discussion    The 2019 Writers' Tournament  ›  Rats - WT2 Moderators: Mr. Blonde
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  Author    Rats - WT2  (currently 1544 views)
Zack
Posted: June 13th, 2019, 9:02pm Report to Moderator
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Some really impressive writing on display. Very visual.

Good character work too, though the dialog was hit or miss for me. Nothing outright terrible though.

Didn't find it very funny, except the part where Danks gets the rat shoved into his shirt. Reminded me of a time were my brother tried to give my cat a bath. She got inside his shirt and literally ran circles around him. Funny shit.

Unfortunately, the ending is a big letdown. It's like a joke with no real punchline.

Still, some great writing in here.
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Philostrate
Posted: June 14th, 2019, 2:24pm Report to Moderator
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Hi Writer,

I enjoyed this one. The story flowed well and the writing was pretty good.

The comedy is a little light, but I liked Groom's character, he's funny and really well-drawn.

Storywise, the script is okay. No big flaws, no great strengths.

I think that the ending was a bit flat, thought.

Overall, another decent effort from a skilled writer.

Well done,
David


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Kevin_L
Posted: June 15th, 2019, 1:57pm Report to Moderator
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Script was easy on the brain. Flowed really well. The banter was good.
Action was smooth.  I like when the one cop shoved the rat down the bad guy’s shirt.
It’s a serious situation because you are apprehending an escaped convict , and do what you gotta do to survive. You gotta use anything you get your hands on.  Him doing that made the serious situation funny to me.

You obviously are a seasoned writer.  The only thing I can tell you is job well done.
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JEStaats
Posted: June 15th, 2019, 2:05pm Report to Moderator
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No sh*t, there I was....

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I liked the story and the pacing and then... it kinda lost me. The ending seemed anticlimactic for me as I was hoping for something big to happen, not just a big-ish rat.

Great dialog, good characters, good style points and hit the criteria. Sorry to say that I didn't find it too funny.

Good work, writer.
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