Not It by The Good Poop - A trio of bank robbers lost in the sewer system run into a horror cliche against which their guns are useless. - Short, Comedy

I'll fall back on  "Well done for completing a script" on this one.  

Hi Writer,

Quoted Text has long dreamed of being a famous thief...

Impossible to know, and impossible to convey on screen.

Yep, I walk right into that, I wont delete it though

Hmm... That was... I don't know what that was. Sure there are some funny lines, but they are solely for the entertainment of the writers on SS. The intent of a script should always be to make a film, this is more to grab some points for in-house jokes.

There isn't anything resembling an actual story, some crooks wondering around who find a weird clown, they blow a whistle, the end.

Sorry but I didn't care for it.

All the best.

The opening passage is so passive I almost want to stop reading. The first joke annoys me because it doesn't have much to do with the story. I've seen nods to us writers in many films, so that's not an issue. So, why don't I like it? I literally am asking myself that question. I suppose, I'd have to put my finger on the execution. The whole NARRATOR thing... even giving them a line. It feels forced. Cheap.

Hm... this was better when the Narrator was gone. They're back and now feeding exposition. We're only just getting to the story and it's page 4.

I'd say top marks for genre. However, everything else has suffered as a consequence, so it seems. This witer may have been better off writing a horror and just losing marks on genre.

Hello writer

I'm in pisserville again... I thought I went past this stop already.

OK - Another 'characters know they are in a script' angle - Let's see if you do it better than the attempt in the other entry.

Another than that didn't get off the ground... I was wishing so so hard that this would just spread it's wings and fly, but alas, it tumbled across the floor.

I quite liked the narrator interacting with them - but it didn't go anywhere and didn't mean anything. nothing meant anything.

I forgot the whistle, was theere one?...*checks through script*... oh yea, he makes the clown jump with it... pretty weak.

I feel like this is one of those survival scripts

So close. I laughed a few times, and that's good. Laughs are rare.

But, the clown thing just flat didn't work for me. I think if you'd have stayed with the main story and told it in the quirky style you established, maybe it would have felt more satisfying.

Pretty good overall. Wish you would have made a few different creative choices.

Well, once again, I smell some urine, but this isn't the sweet smelling kind I like, it's much more irritating and "self aware", not nearly as clever as it thinks it is.

Talking heads now and not funny...to me, at least.

Oh boy, what a waste.  If anyone finds this amusing, I'm going to wonder from now on what drugs you're on and hunt you down to get some for myself.

Story - None

Characters - weak

Dialogue - Not good

Prose - Actually, no big problems here.

Criteria - I guess, but I hate giving out 5 points for anything in an effort like this.

Not It.  

I didn't get what you promised in the logline, no real urgency of dire straits. None of the characters seemed concerned about their plight at all. Great btw that you made one of the thieves a female - that was different.
The Narrator? Needs more to work.

I liked the selfie in the final frame. I like the setup, it just didn't quite deliver this time around.

Toying with the writers/readers here, that will guarantee scores in the sewer!

The narrator who interacts. Outside the box take on crashing the fourth wall. Read an article just last night where that happens in the new Bill Murray movie where his character addresses the writer/director. Didn't fully come off here, but at times it did, worth exploring.

The characters feel recognizable from movies, can't quite place my finger. Could be a no no.

I recognize the clown's mental disorder! Jumping Frenchman from Maine! People that startled uncontrollably from a sudden noise. There's another one where people suddenly get a British accent. Should have used that!

At least there was no poop.

Another forgettable story, sorry to say. Cheer up, the world needs ditch diggers too!

Another IT parody!  This one was ok just needed to reference the novel more.  I like the narrator idea but it should’ve been used all the way through. Good effort

Not It

Wrong page numbers

No way,,, this is another one that went my favorite route. Oh, and more than that it's the fancy narrator interacting approach … omg, the infamous interacting narrator approach…

I'm really curious now if there'll also be a script that takes the last step and constantly talks to the reader through the action blocks. I know those as well, pretty well.

I don't want to believe it, rather forget it, and just give my 'was here' stamp.

Oh, brave writer. The chances you took alone should win you points. At first, I hated the narrator but then it grew on me until I didn't mind it much. Good attempts at character development and giving them some substance.

Surprised how hammered this one is getting for reviews compared to other entries.

Sorry, but I’m just not down with this one. Failed to hold my interest and the storyline really wasn’t there. I get it, it’s a pisser, but it’s just misses the mark for me.

I didn't think I was gonna like this one at the start, but once it settled into its own rythm then I went along with it.

There is a good attempt at comedy here, though possibly at the expense of the story.

Some good lines and asides and ultimately this worked for me.

Decent effort.

The narrator makes the script work for me. The clown was a nice touch. The other characters are just there for the Narrator to comment on--and they accept the Narrator’s “presence” way too easily. They’re criminals, so they don’t want anyone knowing what they just did--even a voice from a person they can’t see. Maybe they start concocting plans to eliminate this unseen guy.