Agent Eleven: Operation Shitstorm by Dr.No - A secret agent tries to recover a briefcase with stolen launch codes for nuclear weapons, but it's his bad-luck day and things don't go as planned... - Short, Action, Comedy, Thriller

Hello writer! (SPOILERS AHEAD)

Quoted Text EXT. CITY OUTSKIRTS - DAY A tiny passageway opens over a grassy lawn. Its iron grill door opened...

I can't picture anything here - Jeff will rip you for the slug, and the passage afterward does not create clear visuals.

Ah, a secret agent and a stumpy German bad guy - here we go

Quoted Text DR. UBEL (CONT’D) Such a pity you should be... eliminated.

So cheesy and nonsensical - I love it! Proper spy movie stuff.

Quoted Text a young blonde on a suit

On a suit? I now have images of a naked person standing on a suit so their shoes don't get dirty.... it wasn't your intention and just a typo, but that's where my mind went.

Quoted Text AGENT TWELVE ...but I’m afraid you’re wrong. The only person here who has been played is... you. DR. UBEL Ha!

Fuck - I'm LOVING this lol

a WHISTLE BOMB - of course, lol

and we end with the walking out of the sea onto the beach.... *Italian Chef kiss*

That was very good - you absolutely smashed it, a very good parody.

I could go into a few petty mistakes but given the parameters and timeframe, I won't bother

Well done writer

It raised a smile near the beginning.

There are some strange passages of writing that make it hard to understand.

It was OK though. I think there's probably a market for something like this, if done right.

AGENT ELEVEN: OPERATION SHITSTORM

Hmmmm… It flew by quickly without doing much wrong. Some dialogue was rather unnecessary. An overall consistent attempt of you.

A nice James Bond parody I think.

Obviously shooting for the Austin Powers target but that's a very high bar. Much of the description and dialog falls short and awkward. Definitely meets the comedy requirement as a bold attempt.

Characters were very shallow and dialog weak. Extremely silly and ridiculous (nailed that target). Story was quite a bit disjointed too. Ended on a scene description of:

INT. BEACH (huh?)

A good attempt.

First of all, the title is gloriously terrible, so I'm hoping it's a pisser and not to be taken seriously.  Let's see...

Opening Slug is quite poor and what follows it makes for an impossible visual.  If you tried to make this terrible out of the gate, you succeeded!

"an icy slag" - ?  Is this just more terrible prose or did you omit a "d"?  Who knows...

Why do peeps use "?!" or "!?"?  I've never understood this...and never will.

"Louboutin's" - Why is there an apostrophe here?

Using "Mr. Chipman" out of the blue is very odd, to say the least.

Writing is poor, but doesn't appear to be pisser poor...which is a problem.  Actually, the whole script is a problem, as it seemed out of the gate to be a big old James Bond pisser, but so little has happened, and so little is remotely funny.

Thank you for the CUT TO: - that really made a difference and I think I'll have to up every category score for that.  NOT!!!

Not for me at all, once again.

Story - rehashed dumbed down spy scene.

Characters - All very weak

Dialogue - Poor

Prose - Poor

Criteria - Yes, 5 points will be awarded here...sadly.

Hi writer,

Quoted Text DR. UBEL Well done Twelve

Well done, Twelve

This will probably be the most inventive use of a whistle.

A pretty good script all round. I mean the story is nothing too original, lots of these spy-comedy types with spy-comedy generic characters and themes. Well done getting it worked into the criteria though.

The writing was good, for the most part, and the script easily gets the ticks in the right boxes.

All the best.

Got a few laughs out of this.

Opening scene, as others have pointed out was very unclear. Have no idea what you're trying to say.

Good use of the whistle. Clever, and fit the parody style you were going for.

Considering the campy style, the dialogue fit. Story was fine.

Several of the action lines were awkwardly worded. I'd suggest another pass to clean things up just a bit.

You would think Parodies of James Bond films would be a piece of cake, but they’re tough to pull off in reality. You have to really push the envelope in a lot of cases and most of the humor is in sight gags or reactions to obvious over the top moments.

This one wasn’t entirely bad in that regards. I found myself groaning a few times. The writing is a bit sloppy in places. Don’t know if that is intentional or just hastily written with no time to review. But you checked all the boxes on the challenge so good for you on that.  Overall not a bad effort.

Admirable effort at a Bond spoof. Had some great imagery and props but the dialogue needed to be snappy right from the get go.  

Some very odd phrasings. In a rush or perhaps NESB writer?

Either way an entertaining, somewhat slapstick entry. I like that your character was none too smart, but smart enough. Of course the breathing tube and goggles were extremely convenient but the use of the whistle was pretty cool even though everyone? pretty much came out of it unscathed.

Amusing.

* Stan and Oliver.  
Bit of a fan myself.

I usually don't read the comments, but is this a Bond spoof or Get Smart? Dr. No as writer suggests Bond, but it reads Get Smart to me. Doesn't matter, either way is fine.

The story moved, easy to read.

Not sure if I should suspend disbelief, even in a comedy, for the bomb whistle.

Kind of tired of poop jokes, but I guess comes with the subterranean territory this week.

Solid effort for three days.

Nice easy read, just the odd typo here and there.

Liked the setup, and liked Agent 11's character build.

Didn;t make me laugh too much, but the attempts at humour were definitely there.

Loved the end image.

Decent paraody.

A very nice mock on any of those movies.
I liked it.
Reads like a part of a big piece but that's okay.
Written very well and all.

James Bond parodies are legion, but this is probably the first one set in a sewer. So congratulations for taking it to a new low. I think writing a funny parody of a Bond character is almost impossible, thanks to all the other pseduo-Bond shit that’s come before, but this was a decent attempt.