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The Rat Pack by Willard - Just another day in the sewer as three rats try to stay entertained. - Short, Comedy
Whistle While You Twerk by Anonymous6 - Drugs, alcohol, and a rave in the sewer. What could possibly go wrong? - Short, Comedy
Crappy Job by Dam Impressive - During the Great Depression, a desperate young man takes the worst job in a factory. The closer he gets to finishing his task, the worse things get. - Short, Comedy
Rats of a Feather by Rat-A-Tat-Tat - A sewer rat steals the shiniest object he can find in an attempt to try and impress his crush. - Short, Comedy, Animation
Rats by Snake Plissken - Two policemen have to go after an escaped convict into a sewer, but what lies below presents one of them with a challenge. 4 pages - Short, Comedy
Cindy Tucker, Sewage Queen by Anonymouse7 - On her first work day in the sewer system, legend of the streets, Cindy Tucker, has to prove herself when the mighty fatberg calls for her. - Short, Comedy
Not It by The Good Poop - A trio of bank robbers lost in the sewer system run into a horror cliche against which their guns are useless. - Short, Comedy
shIT by King Stephenson - The Losers Club in Derry use some unorthodox methods in their battle against Pennywise. 5 pages - Short, Comedy
Agent Eleven: Operation Shitstorm by Dr.No - A secret agent tries to recover a briefcase with stolen launch codes for nuclear weapons, but it's his bad-luck day and things don't go as planned... - Short, Action, Comedy, Thriller
Whistling in the Dark by George Mallory - A mechanic must descend into the bowels of the city to find the talisman of life. - Short, Comedy
Gym Coaches Blow by S.R.Z.K. - Four estranged adult males search the sewer for the dead body of their elementary gym teacher, who they killed. - Short, Comedy
Dating in the Future World by Anonymous5 - In a racially and gender divided future London, where contact between men and women is strictly regulated, one man risks it all for a chance at love. - Short, Comedy
The Wait by Down In The Hole - To preserve their feelings from casualties of everyday life, two lovers agree to meet no more than once every five years. - Short, Comedy
Will start reviewing tomoz (Wed) as am working tonight I have quickly read about 8 to get a feel. Not many laughs I have to say but I am a hard taskmaster lol Some have shoehorned the whistle in all good Will give them all a fair read lol
Probably better than I expected. I reckon the biggest problem amateur comedy has, outside of Spoof/Parody, is its failure to create situations that are relatable to the experience of the reader/audience.
I read some of the pro comedies on this site before trying my hand at the script. The thing that stood out for me was that they open with stuff that everyone can relate to...Ace Ventura and a UPS guy delivering packages in a comedic way...we can all relate to the way fragile stuff is delivered, American Pie and the mother walking in on a teenagers bedroom habits. Even if you've not experienced it yourself, you can still relate to the awkwardness.
That's the biggest thing I would say the Pre Pro comedy writers miss: Grounding the story in relatable human experience.That's my two cents on the matter.
Good job all.
Personally, I'm inclined to say it's a 100% criteria pass on this one.