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SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board    Screenwriting Discussion    The 2019 Writers' Tournament  ›  Writers' Tournament Round 2 Scripts. Moderators: Mr. Blonde, Moderator
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  Author    Writers' Tournament Round 2 Scripts.  (currently 4482 views)
Don
Posted: June 10th, 2019, 11:28pm Report to Moderator
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So, what are you writing?

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Coming Up Roses by Thorn Forrester - A lonely sanitation worker gets lessons in love and seduction. - Short, Comedy, Romance

Underneath The Streets Of New York by Anonymous8 - Francesca and her pals just want to enjoy their July 4th feast, but Chester and the pack have other plans. - Short, Comedy, Animated

An Abandoned Mine, a Golden Chalice and a Beast Named Blondie by Knock, Knock. Who's there? - Two young boys accept a "quest" from a strange neighbor. - Short, Comedy

The Quest for the Red Boat by Willard - Two children go into a sewer to find a lost toy boat. - Short, Comedy

The Rat Pack by Willard - Just another day in the sewer as three rats try to stay entertained. - Short, Comedy

Whistle While You Twerk by Anonymous6 - Drugs, alcohol, and a rave in the sewer. What could possibly go wrong? - Short, Comedy

Crappy Job by Dam Impressive - During the Great Depression, a desperate young man takes the worst job in a factory. The closer he gets to finishing his task, the worse things get. - Short, Comedy

Rats of a Feather by Rat-A-Tat-Tat - A sewer rat steals the shiniest object he can find in an attempt to try and impress his crush. - Short, Comedy, Animation

Rats by Snake Plissken - Two policemen have to go after an escaped convict into a sewer, but what lies below presents one of them with a challenge. 4 pages - Short, Comedy

Cindy Tucker, Sewage Queen by Anonymouse7 - On her first work day in the sewer system, legend of the streets, Cindy Tucker, has to prove herself when the mighty fatberg calls for her. - Short, Comedy

Not It by The Good Poop - A trio of bank robbers lost in the sewer system run into a horror cliche against which their guns are useless. - Short, Comedy

shIT by King Stephenson - The Losers Club in Derry use some unorthodox methods in their battle against Pennywise.  5 pages  - Short, Comedy

Agent Eleven: Operation Shitstorm by Dr.No - A secret agent tries to recover a briefcase with stolen launch codes for nuclear weapons, but it's his bad-luck day and things don't go as planned... - Short, Action, Comedy, Thriller

Whistling in the Dark by George Mallory - A mechanic must descend into the bowels of the city to find the talisman of life. - Short, Comedy

Henry Schmidt: A Tosher's Tale by Helen Hywater - A Victorian Tosher finds an unusual way to keep the snitches at bay. - Short, Comedy

Gym Coaches Blow by S.R.Z.K. - Four estranged adult males search the sewer for the dead body of their elementary gym teacher, who they killed. - Short, Comedy

Dating in the Future World by Anonymous5 - In a racially and gender divided future London, where contact between men and women is strictly regulated, one man risks it all for a chance at love. - Short, Comedy

The Wait by Down In The Hole - To preserve their feelings from casualties of everyday life, two lovers agree to meet no more than once every five years. - Short, Comedy

The Foul Case of the Feculent Fiend by Author Number 2 - The world's greatest detective races to stop London drowning in a quagmire of its own manure. - Short, Comedy

If I Had A Whistle by Your Dark Side - A whistle with great magical powers was lost in the sewer a long long time ago.  Can Pete retrieve it before the Dark One finds it? 5 pages - Short, Comedy

Whistle by Me - A German Shepherd loses his life trying to do a good deed for his cripple sidekick. - Short, Comedy, Animation


Visit SimplyScripts.com for what is new on the site.


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You will miss 100% of the shots you don't take.
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Revision History (6 edits; 1 reasons shown)
Don  -  June 11th, 2019, 11:33am
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stevie
Posted: June 10th, 2019, 11:32pm Report to Moderator
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Awesome work Don


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Warren
Posted: June 10th, 2019, 11:34pm Report to Moderator
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Thanks, Don and Sean. Diving in, think I'll go top to bottom this time round.


To View All My Scripts Please Use The Link Below

My Website

My IMDb
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Dreamscale
Posted: June 10th, 2019, 11:36pm Report to Moderator
Of The Ancients


Yes, that is my real hair...

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As always, AMAZING work, Don and Sean!


To ski or not to ski...that's not even a question.
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Mr. Blonde
Posted: June 10th, 2019, 11:49pm Report to Moderator
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What good are choices if they're all bad?

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This one here was all Don. I'm always amazed at how you can get these up so quickly and efficiently. Always props to you. =)


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ReneC
Posted: June 11th, 2019, 12:16am Report to Moderator
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Im loving the names! If they are any indication, were in for a treat.

Back to back scripts by Willard!  


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Mr. Blonde
Posted: June 11th, 2019, 12:25am Report to Moderator
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What good are choices if they're all bad?

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Quoted from ReneC
Back to back scripts by Willard!  


One's the original and one's the remake. =)


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PKCardinal
Posted: June 11th, 2019, 12:29am Report to Moderator
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Pretty good set of log lines. This could be fun.


PaulKWrites.com

60 Feet Under - Low budget, contained thriller/Feature
The Hand of God - Low budget, semi-contained thriller/Feature

Many shorts available for production: comedy, thriller, drama, light horror
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stevie
Posted: June 11th, 2019, 1:45am Report to Moderator
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Will start reviewing tomoz (Wed) as am working tonight    I have quickly read about 8 to get a feel.  Not many laughs I have to say but I am a hard taskmaster lol   Some have shoehorned the whistle in all good    Will give them all a fair read lol


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Matthew Taylor
Posted: June 11th, 2019, 3:19am Report to Moderator
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Awesome! Will check some out throughout the day.

I just opened mine up to have a quick scan in the cold light of day - found 3 errors in the first 3 pages - dagnabbit!


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Scar Tissue Films
Posted: June 11th, 2019, 6:26am Report to Moderator
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Finished.


Probably better than I expected. I reckon the biggest problem amateur comedy has, outside of Spoof/Parody, is its failure to create situations that are relatable to the experience of the reader/audience.

I read some of the pro comedies on this site before trying my hand at the script. The thing that stood out for me was that they open with stuff that everyone can relate to...Ace Ventura and a UPS guy delivering packages in a comedic way...we can all relate to the way fragile stuff is delivered, American Pie and the mother walking in on a teenagers bedroom habits. Even if you've not experienced it yourself, you can still relate to the awkwardness.

That's the biggest thing I would say the Pre Pro comedy writers miss: Grounding the story in relatable human experience.That's my two cents on the matter.

Good job all.

Personally, I'm inclined to say it's a 100% criteria pass on this one.

Revision History (1 edits)
Scar Tissue Films  -  June 11th, 2019, 6:37am
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khamanna
Posted: June 11th, 2019, 7:04am Report to Moderator
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Thanks Don! The great great Ss master!!
Sean, thanks for putting it together, thats a lot of fun.

If someone could remind me what it was before I start reading that would be great. I mean the parameters we vote on - criteria, dialog story, the last one cant remember
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Scar Tissue Films
Posted: June 11th, 2019, 7:07am Report to Moderator
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Characters and prose also.
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FrankM
Posted: June 11th, 2019, 7:19am Report to Moderator
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Quoted from khamanna
Thanks Don! The great great Ss master!!
Sean, thanks for putting it together, thats a lot of fun.

If someone could remind me what it was before I start reading that would be great. I mean the parameters we vote on - criteria, dialog story, the last one cant remember


Easier to keep your notes in the same order as the score sheet:

Criteria (1 or 5)
Story
Characters
Dialogue
Prose


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khamanna
Posted: June 11th, 2019, 7:27am Report to Moderator
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Thanks, Frank.
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