Being from Kansas, I love a good tornado story. (Especially if it DOESN'T include a Wizard of Oz reference... I hate those.)

Having just had a massive tornado pass within a couple miles of our house (my wife and I huddled in our basement) just weeks ago, and seeing the devastation my neighbors faced... I can tell you, this is all well described.

Also, having a Southern Baptist best friend, and having attended his church once in a while to celebrate his special occasions... I can also tell you that the Carl character is unfortunately, NOT over the top. (I have stories...)

Overall, I enjoyed the story and the action. Yes, the "crucifixion" is just a bit too big thematically, but, I liked the visual.

There are a few action blocks that feel rushed or overwritten. A good scrub session will make this script even stronger. Well done.

Quoted from LC You just needed, (as Dustin mentioned), the word: foreboding. Was it a typo/auto-correct thing? Stupid auto-correct, you have to watch out for it, or turn it off.

I thought the same thing when I read it - so I googled it to make sure I wasn't being stupid, and Google tells me;
Forbidding = unfriendly or threatening in appearance
Forboding = a feeling that something bad will happen

Since its describing how a sky looks, forbidding seems right based on those definitions - but it goes against what I thought those words meant, someone help me lol

Can be used as noun or adjective.

https://www.yourdictionary.com/foreboding
See both definitions.
An example of foreboding is dark clouds that suggest rain is likely.

https://www.vocabulary.com/dictionary/foreboding

P.S. Perhaps 'forbidding' is technically correct too. It just instinctively didn't work for me.

The ending was good and the elements worked well, nothing seemed forced. Only thing is it started off much more like a drama and even with the tornado didn't feel much like an "action" script. Still a good effort. Some descriptions could have been shorter but the writing made one visualize.

The logline doesn't appear to be the best description of the script. Sure, that happens (Carl getting upset over the card) but the family and the tornado were the central parts of the script. Lastly, I didn't see the tornado coming but still a fine effort overall.

Quoted from LC Can be used as noun or adjective. https://www.yourdictionary.com/foreboding See both definitions. An example of foreboding is dark clouds that suggest rain is likely. https://www.vocabulary.com/dictionary/foreboding P.S. Perhaps 'forbidding' is technically correct too. It just instinctively didn't work for me.

Thanks LC - my immediate thought was also that foreboding should have been used. But, I used to think my english wasn't too bad - but that was before I joined a writers forum lol now I question everything I thought I knew.

Anyway, thanks for the clarification  

I prefer foreboding over forbidding as the sky in this story is used merely to impart a sense that something is about to wrong, opposed to the sky being difficult to fly through.

If the story was set on an aeroplane, I'd buy it more. As the sky here is used only to give us a sense of there being something wrong, I'd use foreboding.

We never hear from the sky again after the first sentence. But still, it is a lot more nuanced than I thought it was, so I'd be willing to concede on that point.

LC makes a great point... sometimes the word just instinctively feels wrong. So, you can be correct, and still toss the reader from the script. Which, it appears, is what happened here.

Or, it's just a typo.

The present participle of the verb 'forbid' is forbidding... which is also an adjective that is similar in definition to foreboding. I think forbidding has been correctly used and the mistake is mine. However, I'd still use foreboding over forbidding. Forbidding just doesn't sound right to me.

It wasn’t a terribly exciting or interesting read.  Easy to read for the most part.  And meets the criteria.