Not much to add.

Kudos for experimenting. If you can't do that here, where can you do it?

I thought the stakes were bigger than they turned out to be. The protectors were really just protectors of the church, not the world. At least, I never got the sense that the world was in jeopardy, only the people in the church.

The final beat completely missed for me. I'm not exactly sure what happened.

I skipped the title page to get to the story, which was quite jarring to read.  The story was a bit over the place.  I wouldn’t recommend a rewrite.

Okay, there's nonstandard title pages, and then there's going off the deep end. Your Star Wars crawl does not belong there. Yikes, this continues right onto into the story.
Couldn't quite follow what Ember was doing in the girls' room, but this is a 72-hour first draft.
The term for finishing a scene from the sound of the next scene is called PRE-LAP.
Spell out numbers in dialogue as you'd have the actor say them. "Eighties" is obvious in context, but it should still be spelled out.
Having everyone freeze at the end was just strange. I'm sure it would make sense if you had more pages to tell your story, but as a closing image we're left to wonder who Ember couldn't use the card that way in the first place.