Ooh, early announcement...

Sean... Could you clarify for the dummy (me) what you mean by positive, negative, indifferent cause most commenters in the first round, at least in my estimation, were only impressed if the theme was viewed as agreement e.g. Yes, money is the root of all evil.

Jmho.

Quoted from LC Ooh, early announcement... Sean... Could you clarify for the dummy (me) what you mean by positive, negative, indifferent cause most commenters in the first round, at least in my estimation, were only impressed if the theme was viewed as agreement e.g. Yes, money is the root of all evil. Jmho.

Sure. We'll use the example from the 1st round: Money is the root of all evil. You can show it being untrue (Positive. Money can lead to virtuous things). You can show it being true (Negative. Money corrupting everyone it touches). You can show neither (Indifferent. Just telling a story involving money without making any moral judgments on it).

Okay, now do blood is thicker than water!

AJR

Quoted from ajr Okay, now do blood is thicker than water!

That's your job. =)

In all seriousness - a theme is a hypothesis.  There is no indifference to a hypothesis.

AJR

I need "the implied meaning of the proverb, not literally" be explained to me.

Quoted from ajr In all seriousness - a theme is a hypothesis.  There is no indifference to a hypothesis.

Sure, there is. Think of it like the media. Indifference is the AP. They just report the facts. Lol.

Quoted from khamanna I need "the implied meaning of the proverb, no literally" be explained to me.

Don't write a story about blood literally being thicker than water. The theme refers to family forming a closer bond with people than friends and acquaintances.

Looks like this will be the shit script of my five lol

Quoted from Mr. Blonde Don't write a story about blood literally being thicker than water. The theme refers to family forming a closer bond with people than friends and acquaintances.

Should it be about a bond only?

There are things like inside jokes, some traits or else - families have things in common - can it be about that?

Quoted from khamanna Should it be about a bond only?

As is typical with themes, it should be in the background -- what your story is really about -- but the plot would be about something else.

Kham, when it comes down to it, your blood, e.g. those you're related to will come first, above all else - loyalty. Kinda like charity begins at home.

P.S. I agree with AJR.
Imh, if a character treats the theme in an indifferent manner I think tension and conflict might be lacking for one thing and the theme wouldn't be very powerful.

Quoted from LC I agree with AJR. Imh, if a character treats the theme in an indifferent manner I think tension and conflict might be lacking for one thing and the theme wouldn't be very powerful.

Not character. Writer.

That said, there's are some themes where indifferent won't work. This is one. It would've in the first. All depends on the writer's perspective.

You choose the one which works best.

Ok, I'll give an example.

Could it be something else but exploring family ties.

Like I have a feature about vampires biting only their own. Does it answer the theme?

I thought about writing 'writer' in there. Last minute changed it to my creation/character.  

Quoted from khamanna Ok, I'll give an example. Could it be something else but exploring family ties. Like I have a feature about vampires biting only their own. Does it answer the theme?

Wow. I'm going to let Sean answer that one.   If he doesn't I'll give you my opinion.

I believe in letting the reviewers decide. I don't want to tell you what you can or can't write. Sounded fine to me, though.

Thanks, Sean.
Libby, I could use your opinion too.

Okay, Kham, I might have the wrong end of the stick with your vampire story...
Sounds interesting btw.

So, just go with what Blondie said and I'll say no more.
Better get looking at the elements again.

I've always thought it meant blood...family ties..
Are thicker than "water"...non family.

Like if you had to choose a side, you would choose your family.

Well, to me it depends with the example you gave Kham if your vampires were in anyway affected in a bad way.

I'll just say... The proverb means family comes first. Above everyone else. Loyalty, sacrifice etc.

Ok, got it thanks)

Ah, but hang on...

There's another meaning contrary to the classic belief:

“Blood is thicker than water.”
The quote comes from: “The blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb.” This actually means that blood shed in battle bonds soldiers more strongly than simple genetics. Although we commonly use it to suggest the strength of family ties, it doesn't refer to family at all

From a site called 35 quotations we've been getting wrong.
https://thoughtcatalog.com/nico-lang/2013/09/31-famous-quotations-youve-been-getting-wrong/

I still think modern usage refers to family coming first though.
Already a conundrum... or an extra choice, if you see it that way.

Quick question - with you listing the genres again does that mean we can reuse genres or are we not allowed to the use the genre we or our partners from last week used?

this may not be the right thread for this question but here goes...

when voting, I assume we don't vote on ours, obviously, but we do vote for our buddy even though we will know the script.

I would imagine it would be cleaner not to vote on theirs but that may not be the intention

ta

We vote on our Buddy's script, Bill. Review as normal.

Just not our own.
Blondie hopes we can post reviews on our Buddy's without prejudice. I can't trawl through his exact words but that was the crux of it.

Quoted from MarkRenshaw Quick question - with you listing the genres again does that mean we can reuse genres or are we not allowed to the use the genre we or our partners from last week used?

Quoted from Blondie By the time the Tournament is done, every genre, object, location and character will be used once and only once.

Thanks for the clarification!

As for this weeks topic, I see it as loyalty. Week 1 was greed, this is more about some element binding people together. Family is the most obvious choice because of blood, but I think you can be flexible, like the brothers-in-arms example or a family of vampires. I'm certainly going to be flexible in my scoring as long as I can see the element in there.

What Mark said!

And Libby that's fascinating, never knew that we were using it wrong all along! Tx for sharing

Quoted from MarkRenshaw As for this weeks topic, I see it as loyalty. Week 1 was greed, this is more about some element binding people together. Family is the most obvious choice because of blood, but I think you can be flexible, like the brothers-in-arms example or a family of vampires. I'm certainly going to be flexible in my scoring as long as I can see the element in there.

By blood, they mean what you perceive to be your family, not your literal family (although it can mean that). Military, athletes, cops, anything like that, or you could do a straight family piece.

Whomever your character considers to be their blood, they're closer to that person or people than they are to anyone else.

Quoted from LC Ah, but hang on... There's another meaning contrary to the classic belief: “Blood is thicker than water.” The quote comes from: “The blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb.” This actually means that blood shed in battle bonds soldiers more strongly than simple genetics. Although we commonly use it to suggest the strength of family ties, it doesn't refer to family at all From a site called 35 quotations we've been getting wrong. https://thoughtcatalog.com/nico-lang/2013/09/31-famous-quotations-youve-been-getting-wrong/ I still think modern usage refers to family coming first though. Already a conundrum... or an extra choice, if you see it that way.

Yes, Like Mougli was fighting for his wolf pack!
In Russian movie they'd say "You and I of the same blood" and it was like a theme of that movie.

Writing this week's bit is crusin right on. But I'm going through this tug of war between titles.
I finally decided on one, due to a surprise revelation in the script. It's too ripe.

I have half of an idea. Gonna write it today in the hope that it inspires the second half!

Ever looked at a script and thought...what is the point of that!!

All to frequently Bill ;-(

I got to page three and realised I'm not gonna make it, Captain!  Time for an emergency rethink and restructure!

I need coffee and chocolate,  stat!

Quoted from MarkRenshaw I got to page three and realised I'm not gonna make it, Captain!  Time for an emergency rethink and restructure! I need coffee and chocolate,  stat!

I’m on page four. Now to fit a couple hours’ worth of story on that last page

"Love is (love is!) higher then a mountain,
Love is thicker than water,
You are (you are!) this dreamers only dream,
Heaven's angel,
Devil's daughter..."

Thanks Blondie, I've had this song in my head for 4 days now...

AJR

Quoted from ajr Thanks Blondie, I've had this song in my head for 4 days now...

Weren't my fault... =)

That shit is STILL in my head, Blondie, even as I write to satisfy your evil urges.

I even tried scrubbing it with Zeppelin. No luck.

I think it's grounds for a lawsuit.

AJR

Quoted from ajr That shit is STILL in my head, Blondie, even as I write to satisfy your evil urges. I even tried scrubbing it with Zeppelin. No luck. I think it's grounds for a lawsuit. AJR

It’s the Aussie factor bro. We get into your head like...like pigeons on a face!!!

Bee Gees were born in England but Oz claims them as Aussies.  Well they did until Saturday Night Fever lol  

Quoted from FrankM I’m on page four. Now to fit a couple hours’ worth of story on that last page

I have managed to push a slightly polished turd across the finish line. I know I'll deserve all the derision aimed at it.

Sorry for missing the first week.

Do we submit Week 2 travesties on same link as week 1?

Quoted from AnthonyCawood Do we submit Week 2 travesties on same link as week 1?

All travesties are expected to use the same submission link, yes.

Well, I wrote it! And my daughter read it and said that the tour one script was much better.

Tx, Blondie, now submitted.

Quoted from AnthonyCawood Tx, Blondie, now submitted.

With a day for rewrites still ticking. You da man!

Submitted, that was not good :/

I've gone snow blind on it John, any more tinkering would be pointless!

Submitted mine. I actually think it's a good idea and I did what I could in five pages but I am definitely going to be revisiting this and turning it into the ten pages the idea really deserved!

I also think, as per usual with some of my ideas, people won't quite get it, but I will use the feedback to figure this out for the second draft.

Quoted from MarkRenshaw Submitted mine. I actually think it's a good idea and I did what I could in five pages but I am definitely going to be revisiting this and turning it into the ten pages the idea really deserved! I also think, as per usual with some of my ideas, people won't quite get it, but I will use the feedback to figure this out for the second draft.

as above...but for my script.

not great, but it's the best I could do

Quoted from Reef Dreamer as above...but for my script. not great, but it's the best I could do

I can’t do better with mine either. So the only other option is to not submit but I can’t do that.

But look at the plus side - I got your backs!

Quoted from MarkRenshaw Submitted mine. I actually think it's a good idea and I did what I could in five pages but I am definitely going to be revisiting this and turning it into the ten pages the idea really deserved! I also think, as per usual with some of my ideas, people won't quite get it, but I will use the feedback to figure this out for the second draft.

I probably will add a few pages to my entry after this, since I already had to cut out a page to get within the five page limit, and I think the script might have suffered for it.  
I'm still debating if I want to rearrange some scenes. And I did notice a mall but noticeable error, so I'll resub by the end of the day anyway.

I do hope that reviewers are a little more chilled this time

it's fine not to like a story, or that it doesn't work for you etc, but I hope we appreciate the challenge everyone faced and that a perfect combination of the elements is not required.

well, do that for my script

you can roast the others  

yes, yes and yes.
what a difference one extra line and one line zapped away can make.
bah
it's probably still a trainwreck

The thing is I'm sort of not against mine this time. I don't know why my daughter is so much against it. I knew exactly what was wrong with the other one. It was sort of obvious.

Oh, anyway. I'll wait a couple of hours just in case and submit

Submitted. Definitely writing out of my comfort zone this time. Best of luck to all of us!

Quoted from MarkRenshaw Submitted mine. I actually think it's a good idea and I did what I could in five pages but I am definitely going to be revisiting this and turning it into the ten pages the idea really deserved!

I'm coming to think that the sweet spot for telling a layered short opens up around page 7 or 8. 5 is just a tad tight.

I know my first-rounder would have really come to life with 2 more pages. As it was, it felt thin. I think the same of many of the other first-rounders. Good idea, good script. Just needed a tad more depth.

Brevity is my friend.

Quoted from Spqr Brevity is my friend.

FADE IN:

EXT. {ASSIGNED LOCATION} - DAY

An {ASSIGNED CHARACTER} uses an {ASSIGNED OBJECT} in an {ASSIGNED GENRE}ish way.

FADE OUT.

Well. I have pages. That's about all I have to say about this week.

From me to you goes my script.
Submitted and ready. To read yours I mean.

Quoted from FrankM FADE IN: EXT. {ASSIGNED LOCATION} - DAY An {ASSIGNED CHARACTER} uses an {ASSIGNED OBJECT} in an {ASSIGNED GENRE}ish way. FADE OUT.

Damn, that's better than mine.

These are challenging, but good practice for the studios.

Quoted from Arundel These are challenging, but good practice for the studios.

No studio exec will ever be this big of an asshole... probably. Lol.

Quoted from Mr. Blonde No studio exec will ever be this big of an asshole... probably. Lol.

Yeah you’ve attained that mantle smoothly, Blondie  

Script uploaded. I was last in the competition last week so I'm aiming for second last this week. Baby steps, that's what's needed, tiny toatie baby steps.

Quoted from Geezis Script uploaded. I was last in the competition last week so I'm aiming for second last this week. Baby steps, that's what's needed, tiny toatie baby steps.

You beat me, Brother!  

Quoted from Geezis Script uploaded. I was last in the competition last week so I'm aiming for second last this week. Baby steps, that's what's needed, tiny toatie baby steps.

I really liked your script, don’t know how that happened. I was actually in shock to see the result but what do I know.

Yeah Geezis I second Kahn’s post.  Yours had some great lines. I actually marked it as my second favourite one

Well I went camping this weekend after agreeing on what criteria I was using.
So now that I got home about 5 hours ago, I churned a story out in about 3 hours.

My apologies to all who read it and find all the problems I didn't while I reviewed it all of once. Maybe twice. Kinda.

Quoted from Nomad Well I went camping this weekend after agreeing on what I criteria I was using. So now that I got home about 5 hours ago, I churned a story out in about 3 hours. My apologies to all who read it and find all the problems I didn't while I reviewed it all of once. Maybe twice. Kinda.

Looking forward to it!  

Quoted from Dreamscale You beat me, Brother!

It’s not about the results my friend, it’s all about my improving  

Quoted from khamanna I really liked your script, don’t know how that happened. I was actually in shock to see the result but what do I know.

That’s very kind of you to say Kham, thank you  

Everyone before the scripts post: My script sucks. I will pre-emptively commit seppuku in shame.

Everyone after the scripts post: These are all excellent work. Well done.

Everyone after the scores are released: This is exactly opposite of the way I ranked them! What happened?

Quoted from stevie Yeah Geezis I second Kahn’s post.  Yours had some great lines. I actually marked it as my second favourite one

Thank you Stevie, some basic mistakes probably had folk marking me down but it’s an opportunity to improve  

Well I hope ppl are submitting to the round 2. There’s not a whole lot of “submitted!” announcements which makes me worried.

Quoted from khamanna Well I hope ppl are submitting to the round 2. There’s not a whole lot of “submitted!” announcements which makes me worried.

I expect to dinged for misunderstanding the theme, the object being shoehorned in, the character not having enough screen time, the location not being important enough, and not really fitting the genre.

My only hope of placing well is having virtually no one else enter.

Please don’t let that happen. Get your scripts in!

Quoted from FrankM I expect to dinged for misunderstanding the theme, the object being shoehorned in, the character not having enough screen time, the location not being important enough, and not really fitting the genre. My only hope of placing well is having virtually no one else enter. Please donT let that happen. Get your scripts in!

Yeah yeah. John told us his story sucked but his formatting was top notch last time. Guess what - Im not sure about his formatting!

Quoted from khamanna Well I hope ppl are submitting to the round 2. There’s not a whole lot of “submitted!” announcements which makes me worried.

Oh...I submitted but the script is so boring I forgot about it immediately.

Quoted from khamanna Well I hope ppl are submitting to the round 2. There’s not a whole lot of “submitted!” announcements which makes me worried.

I'll be submitting, Kham. The girls are still in it, yay!
Good to know you've still got our backs too.  
Still some time left till deadline.

Quoted from khamanna Well I hope ppl are submitting to the round 2. There’s not a whole lot of “submitted!” announcements which makes me worried.

We are good.  Just waiting on one more and we are ready to post.

Don

Quoted from LC I'll be submitting, Kham. The girls are still in it, yay! Good to know you've still got our backs too.   Still some time left till deadline.

You did well last time! Nice little script!

Quoted from Don We are good.  Just waiting on one more and we are ready to post. Don

Wow Don. And I bow to you for all the hard work!

Quoted from mmmarnie Oh...I submitted but the script is so boring I forgot about it immediately.

Lol. I feel like it will only get worse from now on for me)