Broken by Somebody Else - Beer Bottle, Wedding Planner, Mountain - Short, Horror

Well, this was pretty creepy and inventive with what you had to work with.
No complaints, theme is there too. Nice job.

Bit of an awkward setup but once I spotted blood on Jacob's hand and the psycho factor kicked in, this was an entertaining ride.

Well done!

-Mark

Liked this and the confined space worked well.

There were a few instances where Christopher and Mary Beth's responses felt a little too low key for what was happening and feels unlikely he could stab Mary Beth repeatedly without Christopher intervening.

Criteria wise, wedding planner feels convenient, but there's a suitable back-story for it to work, so that's fine.

Theme though... I don't see it really at all.

But, as said, I like this and think it works well as a short, I'd encourage some extra work on it outside the challenge.

Lol, this is pretty horrific.

Jacob is a funny character. How casually he stabbed that woman to death - nice. And Stephen didn't even move. Didn't say a word. Oh, look - someone is killing someone right next to me. Eh meh, what else is new. That was a funny moment.

Their dialog didn't flow for me. Tripped me actually a couple of times.

Overall this came tother pretty nicely and reads fast. The theme is here - Jacob wants to win the girl. And the rest of the criteria is obviously in. Beer bottle is a tool, nice!
Nice job.

I'm surprised how much I liked this. Pretty decent writing really helped gloss over how ridiculous it really was. No qualms with the use of requisite items either. Gondola/slasher definitely hits the horror slot.

Theme was fairly weak but I guess Jacob won and got the girl? Quite the nut job.

Good work, writer.

Whoa! Loved it! You created great tension in only 5 pages. This was really well written...awesome use of theme with Jacob obviously winning at any cost!

Really nice job, writer!

I read this twice but it still doesn't work for me. it has this creepy feel but its too sort of random. So i'm guessing the three peeps are going up to the ski resort?  From where? Where is Emily?  Sorry if I'm confused but I'm tired lol.

Look, its written ok, I just couldn't really accept it all.

Good work writer. Really good work.

I was starting to worry when characters started giving each other one 'look' too many, but you also had them do other things in their actions, so it is a big plus.


Not exactly sure where the theme is.

None of the criteria felt shoe-horned, though I could see the bite of the page limit when Christopher didn't have a chance to react to the stabbing. Not the most obvious title for this piece (remember, an audience wouldn't automatically know the beer bottle is supposed to be important), but that's a really minor quibble.

I also noted the Cardinal Rule of Horror was followed: zero bars of cell service

Well done under the circumstances, and definitely worth reworking after the contest is over.

Claustrophobic, tense and scary. What's not to like? I loved this story.

Well done.