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SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board    Unproduced Screenplay Discussion    Action/Adventure Scripts  ›  Googly Moderators: bert
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  Author    Googly  (currently 1784 views)
Don
Posted: December 29th, 2009, 10:14am Report to Moderator
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So, what are you writing?

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Googly by Mehul Oza - Action - {no logline} Script in Hindi language.  136 pages - pdf, format


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-------------
You will miss 100% of the shots you don't take.
- Wayne Gretzky

Revision History (1 edits)
Don  -  December 29th, 2009, 10:34am
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KGK
Posted: February 28th, 2010, 12:40pm Report to Moderator
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I could not open this file.
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mcornetto
Posted: February 28th, 2010, 5:20pm Report to Moderator
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I had no problem opening this file.  Reading it is another matter.
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Sandra Elstree.
Posted: February 28th, 2010, 9:51pm Report to Moderator
Of The Ancients


What if the Hokey Pokey, IS what it's all about?

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No problem in opening or reading it; however:

Just a quick glance through and it seems loaded with huge paragraphs.

For instance, when the coach rattles off this:

COACH
(saying sarcastically to Anil.)
Kash yeh mumakin hota. Hum kam se kam aap logo ki jagahe koi kabil khiladiyo ko to de sakate. (Turning away from Anil and looking at all.) Aap logo ko zarur kisi lachar pal me chunana pada hoga varana humari team itani ghatiya nahi hoti. Aap sab ko abhi bhi pata na ho to bata doon ki yeh cricket ground hai bagicha nahi hai ki nind khuli, nashta kiya aur sair-sapata karane ke liye chale aao. Aap log to gali cricket khelane ke layak bhi nahi ho. Main to kaheta hoon cricket to kya aap to luka-chhupi khelane ke bhi layak nahi ho. (Saying loudly.) Main aap logo ko akhari warning de raha hoon. Aap agar is baar nahi jite to main aap logo ko team se bahar kar dunga. (Coach stops talking. Players are silently watching him. Coach speaks again.) Ab mera muh kis liye taak rahe ho? Kya third umpire ke faisale ke liye ruke ho? Get out!

Consider its function within the story.

Most notable right off though on page one is this:

INT. DAY - DRESSING ROOM OF CRICKETERS

>Cricket coach Singh is lecturing his cricket team in the dressing room of cricket players.

One rule to note is don't repeat/write what is already known.

Above, since we know that

Singh, our cricket coach lectures in the dressing room

We don't need "of cricket players".

I have to say, it's rather funny hearing Sanjit saying sorry to the coach after plucking at his nose hair.

Note that if English is your second language, try and take (usually take out not always) words that are usually written as contractions.

For instance when Sanjit says:

I am sorry Coach.

Change it to:

I'm sorry.

Unless, he's speaking English as a second language, and then this way of speaking would ring true.

Sorry I can't read Hindi, but I'm interested in languages and I think it's cool that you set your mind to it and have written this and posted it up.

Maybe someone around here can read and interpret for us.

Cool title: Googly

I'm thinking about our Google as a Noun, as God, and as a very active verb.  

What's it refer to in this script?

Sandra




A known mistake is better than an unknown truth.
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