Hi Juan,
I'm new here and English isn’t my native language. Dutch is. So my Englisch probably sucks. But I did some studying about writing screenplay and learnt a few things. Only a few!
I like your screenplay, your storytelling, but you have to look at your formatting. Probably it’s best to use “The Hollywood standard” on that.
Ok - one thing about formatting: on page 6 you don’t need EXTERIOR and INTERIOR.
EXTERIOR:
It’s Jesses POV, he’s standing inside – so you don’t need EXT
INTERIOR:
Again, we know Jesse is standing inside – so skip INT
Furthermore -
if necessary - going from INT to EXT (or the other way round) use: EXT./INT HANGAR - DAY
I think I know - in a nutshell - what Dreamscale is trying to tell the worldis that screenwriting his
hard, study, study, study. And:
After having a good logline and professionally formatting your script absolutely needs:
(1) Stating the Theme within the first 10 pages;
(2) Rising Action;
(3) An Active Hero;
(4) Character Grows;
(5) Crispy and Realistic Dialog;
(6) Not - on the Nose Storytelling/Dialog;
(7) Show not Tell -and- Don’t Talk the Plot ;
“Well, you’re my sister, you should know!”
(
It’s Primal – PRIMAL – PRIMAL;
(9) Clear and Present Danger;
(10) Less is More –but sometimes - More is More.
(in the Golden Scenes More is More)
Keep the flow.
Cheers Rutger