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SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board    Unproduced Screenplay Discussion    Action/Adventure Scripts  ›  The Book of All Books Moderators: bert
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Don
Posted: November 22nd, 2011, 7:03pm Report to Moderator
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So, what are you writing?

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The Book of All Books by John Warchelak (johnnyb) - Action, Drama - True Events of our past that lead to biggest event on  Earth.   Given four friends the most power Book in our Universe.     - txt, format


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Pale Yellow
Posted: November 23rd, 2011, 4:04pm Report to Moderator
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Right from the start, you probably won't get read much because of the format.

"Farmers are seeing" ...."Farmers are running" you want to prevent this sort of writing.

At first this was reminding me of Ancient Aliens on the history channel. I didn't get past the first page though, sorry.

My advice is to go read some scripts in here. Then get a free scriptwriting software or buy one if you plan on writing screenplays in the future.

If I have more time over the weekend, I'll read more into and give you my opinion on the story.
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Lon
Posted: November 23rd, 2011, 11:30pm Report to Moderator
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Yeah, this one's a bit of a mess.  Johnnyb, download a program called CeltX.  It's totally free, helps you with format and offers the option to save your script as a pdf.

As pale yellow mentioned above, you also want to work on your grammar.  I'll also suggest you work on your action/descriptions.  Beginning screenwriters almost uniformly tend to over-write things, to the point where the writing itself gets in the way of the story.  

Keep your action/descriptions lean and concise.  Be deliberate; if there's a detail that's not important to the story, it's not welcome.  And keep in mind, action/descriptions are four lines, max.  No five, six or seven line paragraphs.  When a reader opens your script and sees format and grammatical errors as well as a tend to be overly wordy, you'd be very lucky if they hung around more than a few pages.

Remember the KISS rule:  Keep It Simple, Stupid.  Not calling you stupid; that's actually how the KISS rule is worded lol

Best of luck.  Keep writing.
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