I think seeing it happen is stronger than having another character explain it after the fact.  Since Superman's fear of his own power is the main arc of the movie, taking 3 pages to set it up is fine.  I could cut down some stuff on Clark and Lois's walk over to see Bruce Wayne's factory opening, but the first 3 pages are the heart of the story.  The script sure as hell needs to lose pages, but the first three aren't the pages to cut.

Again, this is just my theory of script critique, but I think it's just useless trying to ascertain whether a movie is properly structured unless you've at least seen an outline of the full plot.  Robert McKee couldn't tell if a story was properly structured after 15 pages.

Yes, this is my first draft.

Anyway, there's no point in arguing about it. If it didn't work for you, it didn't work.  No hard feelings.

Maybe I'll look at it when you submit a later draft.  You'd be surprised what putting a script for a month and then editing it can do.  Most of my first drafts were 160+ pages.  I've cut them all down considerably.

Always makes for better reading.


Phil

Quoted Text On his home world, he is known as Katar Hol. But in Metropolis, he will be known simply as the HAWKMAN.

This on p35. I have taken notice that you Screwtape, seem to want to defend this work even though a) it's concerning characters not your own, b) you re-imagine the characters to some extent that will tick off some fans C) it's something you can't shop around and d) the above is telling, not showing. By the way, What does Katar say the first time?

Quoted Text People of Earth. I am Katar Hol.

See why you need to edit now?

And I didn't get past this.

Thanks for your input, Darren.

Just finished this - it was actually a really enjoyable read. If they were to just into a JL movie without the cinematic universe to accompany it, this script would be the way to go. Seeing as it is your first draft, of course, edits can be made here and there. As with ALL scripts.

I liked the introduction of the Young Clark Kent though. It set him up well, actually a bit too well. I thought I was reading a Man of Steel sequal in the beginning at first, but the rest of the script made up for it.

Im tired, so I cant post a full review at the moment - it's 2 am. But will do as soon as I can.

Judging from the dates of the previous posts (and by the number of posts from the writer) I'm guessing the writer is no longer active on these boards, or maybe just perusing? Hope you come back. No one here is out to get you. Just trying to help. Reason I'm chiming in is to add my three cents:

Using derivative material without permission is fine to show your talent. But you're limiting your options/avenues. Most script contests for example, want original material--as do a lot, if not most, producers and agents. They'd rather see that you can create your own characters and scenarios rather than borrow from well-established ones. As a writing sample, go for it, but have an original script ready as well.

Joss Whedon can write a 200-page scirpt if he wants and it'll get produced... because he's Josh Whedon. Tarantino's scripts are notoriously long but he's making the movies himself. You and I don't have that kind of cache, so readers (especially agents/producers) expect a succinct story, and 120 pages is at the very long end of it. I studied some of JJ Abrams scripts for LOST and FRINGE before writing my own sci/fi TV pilot. We're talking at most 55-58 pages for an episode for a TV drama. Both of his pilots went way past that and I think it was FRINGE that clocked in at over 100 pages. But he's JJ freakin Abrams. I'm lonely Manowar. Though I'm slimy and can sting, I had to keep my pilot around 56 pages.

You sound very attached to your material which is great--we all are. But don't be so defensive. Without a thick skin you'll drive yourself mad as a writer. No one here insulted you. They just gave their opinions, and a lot of the peeps here--from what I've seen and read--have already made certain mistakes in their writing (like writing overly long scripts), and learned why their scripts didn't get read or why they were rebuked either here at SS or by the industry, and are now passing on their opinions based on their experiences so others can avoid making the same mistakes. This is like a free writing workshop. You should definitely consider what some of them say since they're all trying to help each other out. In the end, definitely go with what your gut says, but keep in mind that the members here are only trying to help you along.

That's it. Just had to chime in there. Again... hope you return and realize no one's trying to tell you what to do, but rather, they're trying to help you out. Good luck.