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SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board    Unproduced Screenplay Discussion    Action/Adventure Scripts  ›  Marvel's Runaways Moderators: bert
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Don
Posted: March 19th, 2016, 7:02am Report to Moderator
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So, what are you writing?

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Marvel's Runaways by Gerald Prophete - Action - A group of teenagers discover that their Parents are part of an evil Crime organization known as The Pride when they witness them committing a ritualistic sacrifice of a young girl. - pdf, format


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LuisAnthony
Posted: March 20th, 2016, 11:14am Report to Moderator
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Gerald, I can notice some major mistakes upon reading just the first page of the script.

Try to avoid these "we see" "we hear". Just by having the sound we can already "hear" and "see" whatever is on script; it`s unessesary.

Try to keep action text at a maximum of four lines.

When you`re introducing characters, only tell us what we can see. You are describing some characters as TIME TRAVELERS posed as Antique Dealers; we can`t see that. You should only talk about what the characters look like, what they are wearing or what they are doing. Occupations, interests, hobbies are revealed throughout the story, but they definitely shouldn´t go in the first description of the characters.

Remember, in the action lines you only write what we can see.


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