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SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board    Unproduced Screenplay Discussion    Action/Adventure Scripts  ›  The Hybrid Moderators: bert
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Don
Posted: March 25th, 2018, 1:45pm Report to Moderator
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So, what are you writing?

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The Hybrid by Jamal Macon - Action, Adventure, Thriller - A former Marine helps an escaped hybrid teen by protecting her from a facility's hired gunmen that want her dead. 101 pages

synopsis - pdf, format

Writer interested in feedback on this work



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Revision History (2 edits; 1 reasons shown)
Don  -  April 1st, 2018, 7:28pm
revised draft
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Flossy Freeman
Posted: March 26th, 2018, 9:30am Report to Moderator
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Very cool story...but it's a difficult read b/c of action sluglines.  Need to tighten most of your action lines up, emphasize key actions, and/or break w/dialogue?  I have the same difficulty writing action, but luckily for me, there's not that much in my story.  Have you read Die Hard or Collateral Damage scripts? They may help.  
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