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SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board    General Boards    Questions or Comments  ›  Character Description - Melding It
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  Author    Character Description - Melding It  (currently 2416 views)
Sandra Elstree.
Posted: August 6th, 2007, 11:38pm Report to Moderator
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What if the Hokey Pokey, IS what it's all about?

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This topic came up in a review thread during the latest week challenge. (July-August 07) and I didn't want to use space there, but I read some posts which debated the amount of description to allow for characters.

If you're writing a novel, it's often been said, to leave a bit to the reader for them to fill in.  Allow them to use their imagination, but supply the tidbits that you feel are essential.

Now, how does this work for screenwriters?  I'm thinking that if you're a pro and working the big time, your vision is your vision and you've earned it, (you can probably do what you want) but perhaps it's like camera directions.  We shouldn't be loading down the page with angles and what not that distract from the read.

Character is so very important, so I think that this is an excellent topic.

My question is: Do you have any favorite spots from well known scripts that describe character?

Here's one of mine and I mention it here because it's fresh in my mind.

Michael Enslin, the writer in 1408, when asked if he drinks says, "Of course I drink, I'm a writer.  This is not only an important part of his character, but many of us know that Steven King himself had a drinking problem.

The thing here is that the description isn't ironed out flat and boring.  The best description is incorporated through the action and eyes of others' points of view.  It springs naturally out of the dialogue or the unfolding of situations.

How do you handle character?  Do you have some favorites from screen or novels?

Sandra




A known mistake is better than an unknown truth.
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ABennettWriter
Posted: August 6th, 2007, 11:41pm Report to Moderator
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I know what the characters look like in my mind, but I don't really describe them in the script. I only mention things that pertain to the plot. I leave it to my reader to picture everything.

Probably not the right way, but it's how I roll, yo!
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Sandra Elstree.
Posted: August 6th, 2007, 11:56pm Report to Moderator
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What if the Hokey Pokey, IS what it's all about?

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I think that's a good way to go in the sense that it shouldn't be forced.  The "His blue heavenly eyes blah blah blah routine..." It's boring to read.

That's why I'm interested in: Maybe a guy is constantly changing his socks because he's got bad foot odor.  But he doesn't have bad foot odor, he's just obsessive compulsive maybe and why?  Because his parents always blah blah blah... put him down...

Then, if perhaps we've got a situation where suddenly, his sock drawer is empty.  We've got a bit of trauma, at least in the mind of this guy who's obviously troubled.

Something as simple as missing socks makes us think: Who took his socks?  Why?

And on... we go.  We've got a bit of sympathy for the guy.  We also want to get inside his head because we can't relate to his situation, but it's interesting.

I never thought I'd be writing about socks tonight.  You'd think I'd have boats on my mind after the last challenge.

Sandra



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Mr.Ripley
Posted: August 7th, 2007, 12:04am Report to Moderator
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Their are times when character descriptions are necessary such as to identify someone like placing a scar on the guys face. But their are times when it's really not necessary such as if they are attractive or not since these imo are interpreted through action (i.e if a guy looks at a girl alot). But sometimes these simple charactizations sums up the character in total. It just depends on the writer and scene your utizling it in.

Gabe


Just Murdered by Sean Elwood (Zombie Sean) and Gabriel Moronta (Mr. Ripley) - (Dark Comedy, Horror) All is fair in love and war. A hopeless romantic gay man resorts to bloodshed to win the coveted position of Bridesmaid. 99 pages.
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Death Monkey
Posted: August 7th, 2007, 12:36am Report to Moderator
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I think characterization in a script should pertain to inner identity as opposed to outer. that means that you only describe physichal appearance if it has some relation to their personality. Eye- and hair-color are superfluous most of the time.

These are two examples from scripts I'm working on right now that I think work, even though they're different.


Quoted Text
DONNY FIEDLER (17), a greasy-haired roadie-reject in a stained AC/DC t-shirt stuffs a handful of potato chips into his mouth. 90% spillover.


And a more minimalistic approach:


Quoted Text
DEPUTY DALTON FÜCHS (2, proper, clean-cut, vigilant, scouts into the badlands at the oncoming storm.


Of course we shouldn't stop describing our characters here, but this is the only chance we get at directly informing the reader of key characteristics. Everything else must be through their actions, dialogue or the actions of others.

That's how I see it, anyway.


"The Flux capacitor. It's what makes time travel possible."

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ABennettWriter
Posted: August 7th, 2007, 12:42am Report to Moderator
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Wow... those are really good. You give that quick glimpse. I like it.

I don't describe everything at first. I'll put it when needed.
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movemycheese
Posted: August 7th, 2007, 2:22am Report to Moderator
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Great descriptions there, Death Monkey. Short and to the point.


Quoted from Death Monkey
I think characterization in a script should pertain to inner identity as opposed to outer. that means that you only describe physichal appearance if it has some relation to their personality.


Very well put. I'd like to add that the description of physical appearance can also add to their charisma (or lack thereof).

For example, I like the character descriptions in the Bladerunner script.


Quoted Text
The man talking is big, looks like an overstuffed kid.  LEON it says on his breast pocket.  He's dressed in a warehouseman's uni-form and his pudgy hands are folded expectantly in his lap.  Despite the obvious heat, he looks very cool.



Quoted Text
The man facing him is lean, hollow-cheeked, and dressed in grey.  Detached and efficient, he looks like a cop or an accountant.  His name is Holden and he's all business, except for the sweat on his face.


Quoted Text

BRYANT is sitting behind his big desk, a fat man in his fifties with grey hair, jowls and gas.



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Shelton
Posted: August 7th, 2007, 10:24am Report to Moderator
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My introduction of characters is very cut and dry, with only a name, gender, and approximate age range.  I'll only call out a physical feature or item of clothing if the story requires it, and even then it's as simple as "dirty" "bald", etc.

The characters develop throughout the story through their actions and dialogue.


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Death Monkey
Posted: August 7th, 2007, 11:03am Report to Moderator
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Quoted from Shelton
My introduction of characters is very cut and dry, with only a name, gender, and approximate age range.  I'll only call out a physical feature or item of clothing if the story requires it, and even then it's as simple as "dirty" "bald", etc.

The characters develop throughout the story through their actions and dialogue.


I sort of disagree with that. I think it's important to give a strong sense of who the characters are right off the bat. If you only characterize through action and dialogue what often happens is that the reader won't get a sense of distinction until the end of act 1 or perhaps even later. You can't hold back your character-defining line of dialogue for for page 20 or 40, because if people didn't really know who your characters were by then, you may have lost them.

I also tend to avoid introducing all my characters at once or in groups. I think people will latch on to your character better if you give each of your leads a scene by themselves (or in groups of 2 or 3 max), so you see what makes them tick when they aren't interacting in a group.

Because the inital charcerterization is just an introduction. It's not a biography. You give people the gist of things and then you spend 90-120 pages telling us who your characters REALLY are.


"The Flux capacitor. It's what makes time travel possible."

The Mute (short)
The Pool (short)
Tall Tales (short)
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Shelton
Posted: August 7th, 2007, 12:01pm Report to Moderator
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I think it's all a question of style.

While a writer may choose to reveal things at a later time, some can get right into it almost automatically and work on driving it home throughout the rest of the script.  Building up the flaw if you will, only to overcome it in the climax.

Developing a character through actions and dialogue doesn't have to be a slow process.

Think of the cliched "guy lying in bed in a messy room scenario".  Usually this portrays an unkempt, lazy individual who usually ends up running late for work.


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James McClung
Posted: August 7th, 2007, 1:21pm Report to Moderator
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I usually limit my character descriptions to two sentences. One describing their general appearance and a second describing how they're dressed. I think that's enough to give someone a sense of a character without describing distinct facial features or specific articles of clothing. That kind of stuff is a waste of page space, not to mention bound to piss off casting directors, among others. Sometimes I'll describe certain characters less than others, depending on how important I think such descriptions are.

As Mike said, I think it's all a question of style. I think it's generally suggested that character descriptions be cut-and-dry but I see nothing wrong with either of Death Monkey's examples. I think it all boils down to what you think is neccesary because describing more than what's neccesary is bad no matter what your style is.


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Jonathan Terry
Posted: August 8th, 2007, 12:56pm Report to Moderator
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I'm with Mike on this one.

Unless it is essential to the story, then I usually just include name and age.

My reason for this is, if I were to explain a character like this -- John (20) is five-foot-two with curly brown hair, crooked teeth and big feet -- well, if my script ever goes into production, then you are going to have a casting director trying to look for an actor that matches these exactly.  That can be a tough thing to accomplish.

Keep it simple, I say.

Jonathan


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Lon
Posted: August 8th, 2007, 2:00pm Report to Moderator
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Character descriptions are among my favorites things to write in my scripts.  It's in that moment that the reader gets their initial mental image of the character.  I avoid detailed specifics unless it's vital to the character/story.

Some I've used:

(From a biker/monster script): SWEETIE MOMMA leans against the bike's sissy bar, a Farah Fawcett poster with Joan Jett attitude, poured into jean shorts and a bikini top.

(from a cop thriller script):  VAL BENTE, stylishly unkempt, filterless cigarette pasted between his lip; tough as nails and doesn't mind saying so.

(from a period police thriller): SERGEANT MIKE HONIGS scans the bar floor, cop eyes at work.  So cool he doesn't have a pulse, but piss him off and you'd better hightail it to the next zip code.

(from a zombie script): A WOMAN browses the cheap end of the car lot.  Thrift store dress and handbag, but attractive without having to try, and her easy smile could light a darkened room.  This is CHARLENE DANIELS, "Charlie" to her friends.  But please -- no fiddle jokes.  She's heard them all.

I don't know how those work for anyone else, but that's the kind of characterizations I try to give.  Once I get that initial description out, I leave their actions and words to speak for them.
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Death Monkey
Posted: August 8th, 2007, 2:39pm Report to Moderator
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Jonathan,

I don't think anybody's disagreeing with you there. Hair color, lengths, curls or not, eye-color and what have you is WRONG.

Wha I'm saying is that you can give description of a person's exterior without the specificity of the exact eye-color or what kind of vest he's wearing.

However sometimes physichal appearance can say something about personality. Someone can be bug-eyed, wide-eyed or beady-eyed. these can all be acted and yet are part of the person's physichal demeanor.

A person's complexion can give a sense of who he is as well. If someone's pale it gives the impression of someone who stays indoors and isn't outgoing.

Bear in mind, none of these descriptives limit casting in anyway. hair or eye-color conveys nothing about character and are specific without being relevant, while these are relevant without being overtly specific.

I think Lon's examples are great, 'cause immediately I get a sense of who the characters are, and I'm invovled. That's invaluable in a screenplay. If you can make me care, if only in the slightest, about a character in your initial description, you have struck gold, IMO.


"The Flux capacitor. It's what makes time travel possible."

The Mute (short)
The Pool (short)
Tall Tales (short)
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ABennettWriter
Posted: August 8th, 2007, 3:06pm Report to Moderator
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Lon's a freakin' genius.

Those are great.
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