Hello everyone,


I had some questions spring up a while back that had to do with screenwriting and thought, "Why not go to place where I'm able to contact professionals?"

Any way, two questions:

1) Just in case I ever do write a musical (which, in my opinion, would be very complicated), and people were doing actions while they sing...Would you write in the actions in between singing dialogue? Such as...

"The doctor pulls down his face mask and holds a scalpel in hand. He comes inches away from the patient.

DOCTOR
Here's the face
Of everything
That breaks you down!

The doctor yanks the patient to an upright position. He holds the scalpel in front of the patient's face; the patient stares at his reflection in the scalpel in terror.

DOCTOR
Now you face the face
Of everything
That breaks you down!"


Or would you just write the song and then later have the choreographer/director figure out what's going to happen during that part?


2) Another question I had was...Should you normally state the obvious in a script? Such as you describe something in the action, then have the character say practically the same thing. Like...

"Two boys sit in a room.

BOY 1
What day is it?

The other boy looks at a calendar. The date reads: DECEMBER 1

BOY 2
It's December 1st. Why?"


Another example-question might be...

"The three campers sit around a campfire. The bushes next to them rustle.

CAMPER 1
What was that?

The bushes shake as a baby American Black Bear walks out to the campers.

CAMPER 2
It's a bear.

CAMPER 3
It's an American Black Bear. They're really well at climbing trees.

CAMPER 2
Then what's it doing on the ground?"

So would you just state that "the boy looks at the calendar" or "a bear cub walks out of the bushes" in the action, then have the characters fill in the details? Or just go ahead and write the exact details in the actions, and have the characters "state the obvious"?


Thanks,
Sean

For the music part, it's perfectly acceptable to write descriptions in between singing.  Just use an ellipsis at the end of the dialogue before the description, and at the front of the dialogue before.

Stating the obvious isn't a big deal either, but in your calendar example, you could just have kid 2 say the date instead of adding the shot of the camera to save a little bit of space.

I think I saw somewhere that, when singing, you writing it like this:

       DOCTOR
Here's the face/  Of everything/
That breaks you down!

The slash denotes the end of each line of song.  Giving each song line its own line just uses up space on the page.

In regards to description, only write what is necessary.  In regards to your calendar description, showing the actual date vcould signify that the date is important.

The director would decide if that particular shot would go in.


Phil

Alright, thanks you guys! These questions were just hovering above me for a while and I thought it was time to get them answered. Cool!

Sean

Just to throw this out, however. In a musical libretto, it is perfectly acceptable to write the lyrics as one per line, and they're typically all CAPPED to indicate they are different from straight dialogue. And musicals often state the obvious in the sung parts. It's a different beast altogether from typical movies.