I've been shooting TV for years.....Boring head and shoulders, PSAs, commercials, cooking shows, etc.

I've NEVER shot anything that falls into the "story telling" realm.  (TV pays the bills, and I'm bizzy at it.)

I've always wanted to shoot something but I've always been somewhat hesitant for fear of winding up with some crappy short that is shy of what I want it to be. (either technicaly or storywise)

So I'm cruisin around the interwebnet and come across this short....
http://vimeo.com/12674633

Just knocked me for a loop.  Gorgeous camera work, love the angles, lighting, story, well,  just about evrything about it.

This is what I want to shoot.   Same style, look etc.
I come up with a good idea for a script that will work for a lo/no budget short (at least I think it's good....)  and I start to write.....

I should say at this time that when the budget year came around, I ordered 25K worth of equipment that is more for shooting cinematography based stuff than the ENG/run n gun stuff I SHOULD have ordered for my job. (but then nobody know that but me.)

So I write a short about a girl and her struggles and inability to adapt to the situation she's in.   (post apocalypse near future drama) and.........IT SUCKS
Doesn't matter how preety the visuals are, if the story sucks,  the movie/short sucks.

I make TV and I will admit it.   I am nothing close to a writer.  When you say arc to me,  I think of welding.

I delete my copy and get ready to start from scratch. (with the same concept)

I'm bitching/venting to someone I work with and she say's she likes to write and she'll give it a shot.    OK.......

Her's isn't much better........

So...........
Any writers here want to take a shot at fixing my stuff?  I can pay a whopping $50 for your hours and hours and hours of work so you know it will be worth it.

I don't care if you use most of my script or start from scratch with just the premis of what I want (and have the locations for)  Just looking for someone to write something that will show the fears and trepidation the girl has in her situation.

I do have a few things I want included in the script but basically you'll have a free hand at writing whatever you think.

email me at videohog at yahoo dot com and I can send you a script and a description of what I'm looking to do.

Also info....I want about 90% of this to be voice over to visuals much like the video above.

Perhaps if you explain what you're looking for - Genre, characters, visuals, cast, setting, estimated budget etc, someone out there will have written something that closely matches your criteria? You might also be interested in running this as a challenge [theres a October OWC (one week challenge)  running already] but I'm sure many regulars would love the oppurtunity to have their script produced. You get to pick the short you want, the winner gets their work produced. Win Win.

Well, I watched the film. I'll tell ya what, for fifty bucks, I'll write the dialogue for your script!

Just kidding. I have to admit, I didn't really get the film, but I'll give my take from it.

The Soviet style building is kind of the star here, a monstrous testament to the soul destroying wonders of social planning; people forced with wonderful equality into massive buildings of tiny, lifeless cubicles, walled off from reality. And as their world decays around them, the remnants of this dreadful human engineering no longer have the spark of human spirit that individuality inspires and from which creative enterprise depends. It is a world spawned from the vision of those like the Wall Street Occupiers, and in this world, "greed" has indeed been eradicated, along with all other flowering of human ingenuity and intellect.

Regarding your project, maybe you could post details here and members could suggest some ideas for you. If you're going for something similar to the film above, you don't necessarily need a script, just some brainstorming. Couldn't hurt, anyway. I think people here would be happy to help you out.

Best of luck with your project! Should be fun.

Thanks for replying Eoin
The story is basically a lone female describing her fears about how/where she lives.

Here's a cut n paste portion of my script which might give a better idea of the situation.
------------------------------------------------------

"Ironically, and unlike all those "end of the world" movies I saw as a teen, the virus never actually killed anyone.  

Best guess I heard at the time, was a group of wildlife scientists came across a family of Orangutans in the jungles of New Guinea.  All of them were starving. (pause)  All of them were blind.

The 13 scientists did their research and  returned to their home countries of China, Japan and the US and within 6 weeks all 13 were blind too.  Something about retinas detaching or something.....

From there, It spread like wildfire.       Apparently, The long incubation time, combined with the high transmission, meant an exponential infection rate that overwhelmed the doctors that were working on it.  

Ordinarily, If someone was blind, you could work around that, but when everyone is blind..........Planes don't fly, Trains don't move, Trucks don't deliver stuff to the stores.

Everything stopped. The infrastructure basically fell apart, and all those that were blind were left to fend for themselves.     That's what I called the "Horrible Time"

For the most part, over the next two years, millions of people just slowly starved to death. Some managed to last quite long,  eating grasses, weeds, whatever they could literally grab with their hands.

Bodies fell where they were. and they were everywhere......The packs of dogs fed well for a while.  Now that there's no more food, well.......either run if you can or kill as many as possible.  They're not nice and they definitely aren't gonna be your pet anymore.

That's why I stay here.  Most everyone left when the virus hit, so there aren't many bodies here. I've got a ready supply of food and a fresh water supply. and because there weren't many bodies, the dogs don't come here much.  I guess in the big picture, it's kind of safe here.

-------------------------------------------------------

She knows there are survivors, she's seen vapor trails of airplanes and a ship passing on the coast.  She doesn't know if she's immune or just got lucky and hasn't been infected yet.  But I didn't want the script to focus on the horror of the situation much, but more on her fears of trying to find someone else, as she has only seen 2 others in the last several years and one of them thinks he has been spared by God to help cleanse the earth of mankind (whack job tries to kill her)

The other is also scared of becoming infected so he doesn't want any close contact either.

Should she end her lonelyness with suicide, or risk a journey on foot north wear the plane and ship were heading?

She lives on the coast of Florida in a tourist town

I didn't know what an OWC was (don't come here much) but that sounds like a good idea if I don't get any offers to colab.

This won't have much of a budget (if any)

Hi Leitskev

It's funny how so many I've talked to have put different twists on what they think the short means.   (or how many didn't get it)

but I meant I wanted to copy/emulate the "look" of it. colors, cinematography, lens choices etc.  NOT the story.

Any idea what the short means? Just out of curiosity. There were some things that didn't show too clear on my laptop. I could see what she was pushing from the ocean, or what the old man was cutting. Or maybe that stuff was supposed to be vague.

The building was cool. Probably an old hotel, but for the purposes of the short, and apartment building. Great to have locations like that where you're shooting.

Do you have any cool locations like that to shoot in, or near? Anything relevant for your story? Abandoned buildings, anything that could look like an abandoned town? Maybe an amusement park shut down for repairs.

I guess as far as the story goes, everybody will have there own version but I took it that she didn't want to go "inside" to the virtual network (or Matrix if you will...)

When she rubbed the cloth,  you could see some reflections/images in her eyes so I assume when you rub the cloth, you go inside?  The fact that it was soo vague is what I liked about it.   More questions than answers.

As for my story,  I do have a few locations in mind but there will have to be a lot of AE SFX work to make the locations look "abandoned"

Gorgeous film.  I'd be willing to take a look at your script and see if I can fix it up.  You can get an idea of my dystopian VO from this script - The Therapist.

http://www.simplyscripts.net/cgi-bin/Blah/Blah.pl?m-1297471931

Here's the actual script link

http://www.freewebs.com/mixelpixel/The%20Therapist.pdf

Click on my username on the side of the post and you can send me an email from my profile.   If you want me to have a look at it, attach the script to the email and let me know what you think is wrong with it.

Michael

Quoted from Oceanwind The fact that it was soo vague is what I liked about it.   More questions than answers.

And no one has yet recommended me?  

I have just finished watching this and I want to tell you:

How I would describe it is this: "texture". I loved the texture. If I were writing this, it would not be from the perspective of "not wanting to go inside", but rather the opposite.

The idea of working with "the baggage" carrying it along as a physical thing, as in possessions, the physical manifestation of "hanging on" and "clinging to" unnecessary things is particularly appealing to me.

Sandra

Hi Ocean -

Interesting proposition!  Saw the Vimeo on Outsider- and it's absolutely gorgeous!

You mentioned in your post that your project will have little to no budget.  Are there any links of work you've done that you could provide as samples?

Thanks and best - and welcome to SS!  

--Janet (wonkavite)

Sounds just like the film "Blindness" to be perfectly honest.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0861689/

Hi Janet
The project will be no/lo budget. (read that as evrything will come out of my pocket/ i.e. no investors)  
As far as links... I don't do the face book/myspace thing and most of my stuff is what I call "local lo budget crap" so once the paper is signed I lose all rights.  The last national thing I did was a couple months ago for AARP, some 30 seconds spots for their "when I grow up" campaign.   Again, I sign away the rights when the check clears so I don't have copies that I can legally link to.  but if you google it I suppose you might find it. (they did say it was for broadcast AND web distro)

@ Scar Tissue
I actually saw the "Blindness" movie several years ago and yes, it's very similar.
In general, you could look at it as a "short" blindness.   or , at least trying to get that human frailty in it (as much as you can in a short)

@ Michael
I will email you a copy of the script today.    Since you're a Mod here, do you think this project would work as a "OWC" as Eoin suggested?

Anything is usually a good idea for an OWC for someone.   Best to ask Don about it, however.  

Thanks Michael
I did send the simply scripts admin a message about it. (Don, I assume?)

I got no responce from the admin about using this as an OWC, so if anyone wants to take a shot at it, let me know.

Chris

Check your email for my rough attempt at taming the beast.

Never got anything?   videohog@yahoo.com